


Where Hearts Touch Each Other

by sad_drake_lyrics



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Drinking, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gladion says fuck a lot, Mutual Pining, Recreational Drug Use, Sibling Incest, So much angst, blondemysteryshipping, the SEX is in chapter 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:13:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 43,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21576607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sad_drake_lyrics/pseuds/sad_drake_lyrics
Summary: Lillie is living in Hearthome city in Sinnoh as a Pokemon Contest star with a huge Instagram following. Gladion, fed up with the meaninglessness of life, travels to hike Mount Coronet, hoping to find some clarity. A chance meeting at the Pokemon Center reunites them after 10 years of pretending they could live without each other.
Relationships: Gladio | Gladion & Lilie | Lillie
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	1. what we lost

**Author's Note:**

> so i was innocently FINALLY playing SuMo and this ship came and slapped me in the face so hard that i watched the whole anime too, basically just for them lol, and came up with this whole AU that i can't get out of my fucken head. so i wrote it, and now here we are, with what my friends and i call my "cursed Pokemon incest fic." this is your quintessential "if you don't like it, don't read it" warning!
> 
> with that out of the way, Gladion is 27 and Lillie is 25 here.  
> and i've taken some artistic liberties with imagining my version of the Pokemon world.  
> i'm also about halfway done with this and will be posting once a week, at least until i catch up to myself, but i'll try to keep it going.  
> if you're still here, HAVE FUN. :)

The Super Contest Hall stood elegantly in the East sector of Hearthome City, proud and glamorous. Lillie and Snowy passed it on their way to the cafe at the Pokemon Center.

“There it is, Snowy,” said Lillie as they made their way by. Butterflies of anticipation filled her stomach. “This Saturday we’ll be in there competing.”

Snowy made an excited noise but turned its head back to the crowds of people that passed them on the street. It loved attention and there was plenty of it available for them as Hearthome’s darling contest stars. Little girls waved their arms and squealed when they saw Snowy; the Pokemon walked with the gracefulness of a queen basking in the love of her people.

Lillie waved back at them.

She looked at her phone which was overwhelmed with messages from fans. Notifications popped up every few seconds.

_ I love your hair! _

_ Snowy is goals <3 _

_ ur such an inspiration to me, i wanna compete in Pokemon Contests one day too _

_ Say hello to your fans from Unova! We love you xox _

_ snowy looks so cute _

_ ♥ ♥ ♥ _

_ love u so much lillie, reply back _

“Looks like everyone really likes the selfie we took at the studio,” Lillie told Snowy when they stopped at a crosswalk.

The Ninetails preened itself happily.

“I hope the Pokemon Center cafe isn’t too busy. I really want some tea.”

A strong breeze whipped past them and Lillie shivered in her sweater. Something to warm her up would be great. Lillie and Snowy walked the rest of the way to the Pokemon Center and got in line at the cafe.

Luckily, the line wasn’t too long and they were served quickly.

“Green tea for Lillie,” said the barista as she finished making the drink and held it out for her.

Lillie smiled and took it from her, sipping carefully.

“Thank you, have a wonderful evening!” sang the barista.

Lillie turned to find Snowy staring at a man at the Pokemon Center desk. 

“See someone you know, Snowy?” Lillie asked jokingly, but followed the Pokemon’s gaze.

He was wearing a leather jacket over a black hoodie, which he had drawn up around his face, and there was a huge rucksack packed with camping gear at his feet. An injured Umbreon mewled on the desk in front of him. He looked over his shoulder for a clock to check the time, when he caught her gaze and his stomach dropped into his knees.

Snowy made a noise of recognition, and Lillie almost dropped her tea.

“...Gladion…”

He looked tired, and he even had some scruff on his face, but the same fierce green eyes she remembered stared out at her from underneath horribly messy hair.

“...Lillie….”

Hearthome was supposed to be a huge city, and certainly seemed it from the many streets he rode in the cab to the Pokemon Center. He knew from social media that Lillie lived here now, and had wanted to avoid it all costs on his camping trip. If things went according to plan, he wouldn’t have even come here, but Umbreon had gotten seriously hurt.

It was a city of a few hundred thousand people, but here she was in front of him, and it was just as he knew in his heart. He was cursed.

Lillie wanted to run to him, but she stood frozen. It had been ten years. Ten years that he had lived only in her dreams. She walked over to him as if in a daze.

“Hi…” she was so taken aback that she was breathless, which was when she noticed Umbreon.

“Oh no! Is she okay?” Lillie asked, covering her mouth.

“She definitely will be, now that she’s here with me!” said Nurse Joy, gently lifting Umbreon and placing it on a gurney. The assistant Chansey steered their charge into the lab.

“I apologize, sir, but it’s going to be a little while. If you plan to go anywhere, please leave your information with my colleague,” Nurse Joy bowed and followed Chansey into the other room.

The other nurse handed Gladion a clipboard with all of the Center’s information on it. He filled it out quickly, messily; he was so thrown off by seeing Lillie that his hand was shaking. He sighed as he handed it back.

“What happened?” asked Lillie. She couldn’t bear to see any Pokemon hurt.

Snowy made a noise to echo her.

“We were training on Mount Coronet,” said Gladion. “Umbreon got thrown down a rocky mountainside while we were battling an Abomasnow.”

“I’m sorry. That sounds really scary,” said Lillie, clutching at her chest. “I’m sure Umbreon’s going to be okay, though. They are excellent at this Pokemon Center. It’s one of the best in the region.”

“I’ve heard that,” said Gladion, trying not to lose himself as he stared at her.

She was wearing a huge oversized sweater over her tiny form, its slouchy shape revealing a pair of leggings and a crop top beneath. Her hair was tied up in a messy bun, and she had changed the colour: it was bright pink.

Her face was kind, and pretty. A face like a refreshing breeze on a hot summer’s day. She always reminded him of the summertime. Hopeful, bright, and all the loveliness of life in its prime.

“Lillie… you look…”

“A mess, I know,” she laughed, shuffling in her sneakers. 

Beautiful, he wanted to say. Even more beautiful than he remembered her. She was a woman now, and it struck him; a woman he didn’t know.

“I was just on my way home from the studio. Snowy and I were practicing for our contest this Saturday,” Lillie explained.

At that moment, a teenage girl slid up to them, waving her phone wildly.

“Lillie! Can I get a picture with you, please!?” she squealed.

Lillie looked embarrassed, but smiled politely.

“Oh, um… of course.”

The girl gasped excitedly and squished up next to Lillie, snapping a professional selfie.

"Oh my God, my friends won’t believe this. Can I like, hug you?” she asked before proceeding to give Lillie a hug without permission.

Lillie laughed nervously, trying her best to remain polite. Gladion couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

The girl thanked Lillie again, jumped up and down, and then ran away.

“S-Sorry about that,” said Lillie, truly embarrassed. “My fans can be a little intense.”

She laughed it off.

“That’s right,” he said, swallowing, trying not to stare into her eyes. “You’re pretty famous nowadays, aren’t you?”

Gladion knew a little bit about her career with Pokemon Contests. Sometimes, when he couldn’t help but think of her, he’d scroll through her Instagram. She was absolutely a social media celebrity. Thousands of fans followed her adventures in contests, and she was sponsored by several companies who made Pokemon gear and food. He recalled her smile in an ad for gourmet Pokebeans he had seen last time he felt weak and lonely enough to let himself look at her feed.

“You--you follow me!?”

He blushed. He didn’t know if it was worse to say he did or he didn’t, but she saved him the trouble by continuing to ramble nervously.

“I guess I’m everywhere,” she said with a shrug. “I don’t mean to brag, of course. I just really love contests, and people seem to love what I share.”

Lillie smiled. It was slightly sad, and he wasn’t sure why, but it was genuine.

“I make good money from the sponsors, too. It’s allowed me to be fully independent from mother.”

The air got heavy when she said that. He was curious, though.

“How long have you lived on your own?” he asked.

“Since I was eighteen,” she said, again with a sad smile, and his heart twinged. “I got a job at a clothing boutique here in Sinnoh and I just left. Mother paid for everything for a while, but then when I got famous from contests I became able to support myself and I haven’t heard from her in years.”

She looked down at her feet.

“I get it,” he said.

After all, he had done the same thing, even years before. He had been seventeen when he left for school in Kanto and never came back.

“You never, uh… responded to my texts,” she said, a little quietly. “After a while, I figured you had probably just gotten a different number.”

He swallowed. He remembered the texts. He had gotten them from her for three years when he had first left home for good.

_ I wish you would come home. _

_ It would be nice to see you this holiday season. _

_ I really miss you. _

All made worse by the fact that before he left, he had left her a poem declaring his feelings for her.

‘ _ Causing my heart to ache from the chains I’m held in _ ,’ it said in the poem, among his other fragmented and painful thoughts about her. His heart was aching now as he stared at her face.

Gladion wanted to say he was sorry, but he wasn’t able to find any words.

“It’s okay, of course,” said Lillie. Good and gentle Lillie, forgiving him for all of his many wrongs. He didn’t deserve her.

She didn’t want him to leave again, but she had no idea what to say. She stared at him helplessly, but he refused to meet her gaze.

“Oh, um… I know,” said Lillie. “Why don’t we go for a walk in Amity Square while Nurse Joy looks after Umbreon? It’ll clear your mind to walk around a bit.”

“I… I don’t know, Lillie…” he mumbled.

He was both ecstatic and terrified to be around her. But he was also worried about his Pokemon, and there was nothing he could do moping around here.

She smiled in the way that always melted his heart. He couldn’t believe he was getting to see that smile again.

“I’m sure Nurse Joy will let you leave all your stuff here so you don’t have to carry it. Just catch up with me for a little bit, please?” she begged. “I’ll buy you a coffee.”

“Alright,” he agreed, his heart in his stomach.

She was his curse.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Amity Square was huge and sprawling, yet filled with quaint nooks and ornate fountains.

“Come on out, Peanut,” said Lillie, releasing a chipper Clefairy from its Pokeball. 

“You have your own Clefairy now,” he noted, remembering how close she had been to their mother’s.

“Yeah, I found this cutie when I first came to Hearthome city and I just couldn’t resist. Peanut just loves this park. They only let cute Pokemon walk around here, so don’t think about taking out Silvally,” she teased.

“He doesn’t like being around a lot of people, anyway,” said Gladion. What a dumb rule for a park to have.

The leaves were just beginning to change. A soft breeze crept over Lillie’s ankles and she shivered.

“You’re cold,” he said.

It wasn’t a question. Gladion immediately took off his jacket and offered it to her.

She blushed deeply, but gratefully slid into it. She felt butterflies tighten in her belly as she realized she could smell him.

“Won’t--won’t you be cold then?” she stuttered, hoping she wasn’t too obviously snuggling into his jacket.

“No,” he said in his aloof and dismissive way.

She sighed, but she was happy. It was like being close to him, and her knees were weak. It had been so long, but he was still taking care of her. It felt fake, being with him like this again. Almost like she was playing at a little sister who needed looking after.

“You changed your hair,” he said, still not looking at her.

“Oh! Yeah,” she twirled a piece hanging in front of her face. “They wanted me to have pink hair for a photoshoot promoting Heal Balls. I could’ve worn a wig but I decided to just go for it.”

“I like it,” he said quietly.

She blushed even redder and grinned.

“Thank you. I see you got a few more piercings.”

They lined his whole ear now, and he had one on his eyebrow.

“A few.”

She stayed silent after that, not knowing what to say. She felt warm in his coat against the evening air.

“So, um… what have you been up to?” she asked as they walked along.

“Lately, just traveling… battling…”

‘Living like I’m fifteen again,’ he thought.

“How have you been getting by?” she asked.

“I’ve worked for a long time,” he said. “Since I first left home. Just odd jobs of all kinds, really, but I built up a pretty good savings.”

Lillie’s eyes wandered to a Buneary playing with its trainer beneath a tree. Neither her nor Gladion seemed able to look at each other properly.

“What brings you to Sinnoh, then?”

“My last job was in an office, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I was living in Kanto, and decided to travel. I wanted to be alone in the elements, so I came to Sinnoh to hike in the mountains.”

He had been spending every night for the week staring at the stars on Mount Coronet. He looked up at the cloudy sky above Hearthome and figured he wouldn’t be able to see any stars from here. ‘A shame,’ he thought gloomily, staring skyward.

“A lot of people come to this region for that experience,” Lillie said, following his gaze at the clouds. He was always such a dreamer. “But you knew I lived here.”

“I did,” he admitted. “And I didn’t plan to see you, but Umbreon was injured and we ended up at the same place at the same time.”

Her heart sank. She wanted to imagine that he had finally come to be with her, but it was all just by chance.

She didn’t even know him anymore. They were like strangers, walking through the park. So why did she still want to reach out and hold his hand?

He had thrown out his coffee and was walking with his hands in his pockets.

“So, tell me about your contests,” he said. He was curious what type of trainer she had become.

He looked over at her and immediately regretted it, redirecting his gaze to the trees, which were leaning delicately in the wind. She had let her hair down and it danced around her face. She looked like some type of otherworldly creature, like a fairy or an angel.

Peanut skipped along ahead of them, chasing a butterfly.

“It’s really fun,” said Lillie, feeling herself smile. “I feel like… like it’s what I’m meant to be doing, you know?”

He felt happy for her. She was doing even better than he had imagined.

“I get to bond with my Pokemon in such an incredible way. And I get to express myself creatively, too. It really means a lot to me to get the opportunity to do that and for it to make so many people happy.”

“It’s something you and your partners achieved all on your own,” he said. Gladion could understand that feeling, even if he’d never been interested in contests.

“Yes, exactly,” said Lillie.

“Oooh, Lillie!”

“Huh?” she turned around upon hearing her name called suddenly.

A girl with long dark hair ran over to them. She was walking with a Drifloon that floated along at her side.

“Oh, hi, Sadie,” said Lillie. “How are you?”

“I’m great, how are you?” Sadie chirped. Her Drifloon gurgled. “Oh man, who’s this with you?”

“Oh, that’s my bro--”

“--Gladion,” he said, drawing up his hood. He never liked strangers knowing too much about him.

“Well, Gladion, it’s nice to meet you. Any friend of Lillie’s is a friend of mine,” Sadie turned back to Lillie after greeting him. “So, Lillie, I don’t know if you heard from Trish but I’m having a party tomorrow night. Please be there?”

“A party, huh? I don’t know, Sadie…”

“Please, you’ve just got to come! Everyone’s gonna be there,” she pleaded, even turning her gaze toward Gladion in earnest. “You’re more than welcome to come as well; Lillie never brings a date!”

“Maybe, okay?” Lillie tried to pacify her, blushing. “I’ll try to come.”

“See you there!” said Sadie, blowing Lillie a kiss and scampering away with her Drifloon.

“Sorry about that. That’s Sadie,” said Lillie. “My best friend Trish’s girlfriend. Trish makes all my costumes, and Snowy’s accessories, too.”

“It seems like you have a lot of friends,” said Gladion. “You always did. I have no reason to worry about you.”

‘You think about me?’ she wanted to ask. Her eyes watered.

“I should get back to the Pokemon Center,” he said, not noticing that she was becoming emotional.

Lillie held in her tears and took a deep breath. The park air was crisp around them, and she could feel the first icy touches of fall.

“I’ll--I’ll come with you,” she said. “I want to make sure Umbreon’s okay.”

He sighed, but nodded.

“Let’s go, then.”

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

The fluorescent lights were bright in the Pokemon Center; the floors sterile and clinical. The air was clear and dizzying and everything smelled like disinfectant with a hint of citrus added to make it more pleasant.

Nurse Joy led them into a room where Umbreon was relaxing on a bed, bandages wrapped around and around its injured leg.

“It seems Umbreon has sprained its ankle. We’ve completely healed her despite that, but we don’t recommend that she walk much for a couple of days,” Nurse Joy explained. “Other than that, she’s good to go home with you. We thank you for choosing our Pokemon Center.”

The nurse left the room. Gladion got up and walked over to Umbreon, giving it a pat on the head.

“You okay, little one?” he asked his Pokemon. She licked his cheek.

“I’m sorry, Gladion,” said Lillie. “At least Umbreon’s doing much better and is going to make a full recovery.”

“Yeah, but it looks like we’ll be stuck here for a few days.” He didn’t want to know what that meant.

“Well, why… why don’t you stay with me?” Lillie asked.

Gladion knew she was going to ask and he had dreaded it. His heart felt twisted, crying out for proximity to her when he knew it was not a good idea.

“I… I can’t do that, Lillie…”

“Why not? I would love for you to see my place. And maybe you can come to my contest on Saturday!”

“Lillie… that can’t…” he struggled to find the words. Why couldn’t he stay with her? Was he afraid? Yes, so afraid. “It’s been years… and that’s a fantasy…”

Even he didn’t know what he was talking about, but his heart burned at the thought of living with her, even for a short time.

“But why not?” she asked. There were tears creeping into her eyes again. “You’re stuck and I have plenty of room at my place, whereas you don’t have anywhere to go. Please, let me do this for you.”

He couldn’t bring himself to resist her. She may as well have shot him in the heart.

‘I’m cursed,’ he thought. That was the only way to explain it.

“I… fine,” he said simply, running a hand through his messy blonde hair. “I’ll stay. Just until Umbreon can walk again.”  
“That… that makes me really happy,” said Lillie, crying now.

He folded his arms in front of his chest.

“Crybaby,” he said quietly, as he ached to take her into his arms and comfort her.

She wiped her tears away with her sweater sleeve and smiled at him.


	2. what we found

Lillie lived on the top floor of an apartment building on the other side of town, closer to the Hearthome Gym. The apartment was clearly in a fancy area, only a short walk to the East entrance of Amity Square and the Super Contest Hall, with plenty of restaurants and more expensive shops cluttering the street. She was obviously doing well for herself with her contests and Instagram celebrity. Gladion was impressed with her success.

“We’re home!” said Lillie, opening up the front door. She turned on the lights. Snowy ran in first, making a happy noise as she pranced across the room and grabbed her bed. She eagerly dragged it out into the middle of the floor.

“Aw, Snowy, is that for Umbreon? That’s so thoughtful!” Lillie smiled.

Even Gladion thought it was pretty cute, although he would never admit it. He did thank Snowy and released Umbreon to get situated. It curled up in bed, licking at the bandage wrapped around its hind leg.

“Don’t pull at those,” said Gladion, eyeing her sternly.

“So, this is my place,” Lillie announced, gesturing around.

It was a large apartment with modern white walls; pristinely organized, except for shipping boxes that were piled on the kitchen’s island counter. Most had been opened, but quite a few seemed totally neglected. More boxes lined the floor beside the counter.

Lillie was a little embarrassed by how messy they looked. She cleared her throat.

“These are all gifts from companies that want me to blog about their products. I’m a little behind on posting for them because the contest is this week, and I’ve just been really focused on practicing.”

“You’re busy,” said Gladion, putting his camping rucksack by the door and hanging up his coat.

“Yeah, I know,” said Lillie, taking off her sneakers and putting them aside. She sounded insecure. “Sometimes it makes me feel like Mother, always running around with work.”

“You’re not like her,” Gladion told her knowingly.

She gave a weak smile. Sometimes, she really wasn’t sure.

“So… this is the kitchen and the living room. It’s really open,” Lillie said, clearly proud of herself for being able to afford such a large place on her own. “There’s a balcony there, and one in the bedroom, too, which is just down the hall to the left. The bathroom is on the right.”

“It’s nice, Lillie,” he said. “Thank you.”

She hugged herself awkwardly, smiling, feeling happy in the moment that he was praising her and unsure if it was okay for it to be obvious. It took a moment for her to readjust.

“The sofa is a pullout, so you can sleep there,” she said, gesturing to the living room. “You and the Pokemon must be starving, though, so I’ll make something right away.”

Gladion didn’t want her taking care of him like this.

“You don’t have to do that,” he said guiltily. “I can order something.”

“No? But you’re guests,” she continued opening the fridge to look for ingredients. “Hey, I actually think one of those boxes has gourmet Pokebeans in it. You’re welcome to as many as Umbreon would like! I’m supposed to write a review for them.”

“Thanks,” he said, though he had no intention of taking her things.

He looked out the big glass doors to the balcony and saw Mount Coronet, lit up by a purple sunset.

“It’s a beautiful view, right?” Lillie commented as she looked for pots and pans.

The mountains did make Gladion feel something sublime that he didn’t have the words for. Peaceful, maybe. Grounded. Like maybe everything was okay with the world.

“Stunning.”

‘ _ My love for you is like the sunset, hopeless and passionate _ ,’--he had said that in the poem, too, and he had to hide his face from her for blushing over the thought.

He wondered if she remembered it.

He wondered how she felt about him now.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

After dinner, they sat out on the balcony that lead off from the living room. Lillie had a small table and chairs out there, and the spot made for quite a pretty view of the lights of the city. It was a cool early fall night, and they were both bundled in layers of clothing against the air’s chill.

“Not too many stars,” said Gladion, confirming his disappointment.

“No, the pollution from the city blocks most of them,” said Lillie, snuggling into the huge sweater she wore to keep warm. She had pulled up her hood and tucked her hands into her sleeves. “Were there a lot of stars on Mount Coronet?”

“Tons,” Gladion said, putting his hands behind his head and leaning back in his chair. “The most I’ve ever seen anywhere I’ve ever traveled.”

“Where else have you been?” asked Lillie. She was so curious about his life, and it overwhelmed her that she had ten years of missing time to fill. She wanted to know everything she could about him. Her hands fidgeted awkwardly in her sweater sleeves. It was times like these that she wished she smoked like her friend Trish, just to have something to occupy her hands, even though she hated the smell.

“That I haven’t mentioned, only Unova, briefly. My school went on a trip to Castelia city for a week.”

“Oh, wow,” said Lillie. Her hand dangled off the chair to brush Snowy’s head as the Ninetails wandered out onto the balcony for attention. “I’ve always wanted to go there.”

“It was pretty amazing,” Gladion admitted. “I’d like to go back one day. Just to visit, though; it’s too big of a city for me to live in.”

He paused and thought about what he wanted to say.

“I like Hearthome, though.”

Lillie smiled.

“Yeah?”

“Honestly, yeah,” he said, looking at her. It might’ve been a mistake. Their eyes met and there was something too vulnerable in both of their gazes for either of them to handle. They both looked away.

Lillie tried to summon the courage to ask the question about his life she most wanted to know the answer to.

“So… do you have a girlfriend back home?” asked Lillie quietly.

He couldn’t say he was surprised that she asked, but he was nervous to bring up their love lives as well.

“N-No… no girlfriend,” he gulped. “I mean, there’s been girls, of course--I don’t mean ‘of course,’ I just mean… yeah, I’m not seeing anybody right now. Not for a while.”

He simultaneously wanted to change the subject and know whether she was seeing anyone either, but he couldn’t form the words.

“I don't either,” said Lillie, answering his question without him having to ask. She also stumbled over her words. “Don’t have a boyfriend, I mean. Girls are okay; but I don’t have a girlfriend, either.”

She blushed furiously, embarrassed.

“It’s always just me,” said Lillie with a light nervous chuckle. She suddenly seemed sad.

“You have a bunch of friends, you said, though, right?” he struggled to cheer her up. “And Snowy, and all of your other Pokemon, too. So you shouldn’t be too lonely.”

Lillie stared at her feet.

“It’s not so bad,” she said, and it was half a childish mumble. She was looking down and her pink hair fell all in her face and framed her lips. “I’ve always felt lonely in a way I can’t explain, though.”

It was complicated, but Gladion understood her. There was a lot that could explain that feeling, if he thought about it. The selfish neglect of their mother; the absence of their father. And Lillie didn’t even have the few fleeting memories of love from Father that he had.

“I feel that way, too,” he admitted quietly.

They looked at each other for maybe a second too long and then flittered their eyes away again.

“At least you have people all over the world supporting you in contests.”

Lillie sighed.

“You would think that would help, huh? All these people out there adoring me and Snowy… but, if anything, it can sometimes be isolating.” Her eyes were far away, and it was clear that she was admitting a deep sadness that haunted her. “Don’t get me wrong—I wouldn’t change my career or my success at all, but… sometimes it’s like I’m a shiny toy in a glass case, and everyone looks on with admiration, but… they’re separate from me, and they can never truly understand.”

“I guess fans aren’t the same as friends,” said Gladion.

“Do you have any friends?” Lillie asked him, hoping his loneliness wasn’t worse than hers. “Friends you consider like family; like Trish and Sadie are to me.”

“Not to that extent, but I have friends from school that I still talk to,” he said. He crossed his arms and watched the traffic below them. “I live near one of them and I see him sometimes; but the rest of the others have moved away, so it’s only through text that I keep up with them. Honestly, my best friend is probably still Ash.”

Lillie’s eyes lit up.

“Ash? You still talk to him?”

“Yes. It’s pretty remarkable that we’ve stayed in touch.”

“We like each other’s posts on Instagram sometimes, but we haven’t really talked,” added Lillie, reminiscing about their time with Ash. “He seems to be doing wonderfully as a professional Pokemon trainer.”

“He is. Travels everywhere all the time, which is just like him. I think he has boyfriends and girlfriends all over the world,” Gladion laughed. “Every time I talk to him, he’s telling me about some new amazing person he met and these new legendary Pokemon he helped out. Just a day in the life I guess.”

Lillie laughed, and it felt good for her to laugh genuinely.

“That’s so Ash,” she said, leaning on her elbow on the balcony table. “Tell him I said hello next time you talk to him, okay? You promise?”

“I will,” said Gladion. He was vaguely aware he was smiling, and he couldn’t believe it. How long since he had felt happy like this?

‘It’s all her,’ he thought, stealing a long glance at Lillie’s profile while she scrolled and tapped at her phone. ‘She’s more bright and beautiful than all the stars on the mountains.’

Whatever puppy love Gladion had felt for Lillie when he was a teenager was bubbling up in his chest so severely he thought he might burst. He knew in his gut that it was unacceptable, but his heart wouldn’t listen, and sang a song of her loveliness that stung his bones.

‘This is why I shouldn’t be around her,’ he thought sadly.

Lillie got up to make tea, and after she brought it back they talked until late. It was apparent to both of them how much they had missed each other, as they talked about their adventures as children and traded stories from their adult lives. They laughed at the same parts. And, despite the cold, their hearts were warm.

Getting into bed that night, Lillie remembered the poem Gladion had left her before he went away to Kanto.

‘ _ Your smile is like the summer, and I’ll never feel warm again. _ ’

She remembered.

She remembered the feeling of him leaving. Which happened gradually, really, a slow tide of his absence pulling at her feet. That huge house that suffocated her. And when he was no longer around at all, it got harder to breathe. She couldn’t wait to get away.

‘That’s not my life anymore,’ she told herself, lying in her bed with Snowy.

It wasn’t. But she also wasn’t the same as she had been this morning, before she had run into him.

“Was this supposed to happen?” she whispered quietly to Snowy.

The Ninetails looked confused.

“Gladion… I just don’t know what to think,” she said.

Never in her wildest dreams did she anticipate that he would be sleeping out on her sofa bed that night. Her feelings washed over her like an ocean, with all its varying depths and intensities. She tried to make sense of it. Troublingly, all of her thoughts lead back to the night he had left Alola, when he held her close against him because she had refused to let him go without a fight; and then the poem he had left for her. A declaration of love.

‘I just want him to hold me now,’ she wished to herself, and immediately turned red at the thought of him getting into bed with her instead of sleeping out in the living room. ‘No! I can’t be having those types of thoughts.’

She squirmed.

‘Don’t think about that, Lillie!” she chided herself, trying to silence a well of romantic thoughts that bubbled up from her heart like twisted little balloons. ‘He’s come back to me--we can be together--’

“Oh no, Snowy,” she whined, realizing the severity of her situation. “What am I going to do about this?”

Snowy made a disinterested noise and closed its eyes.

“You’re right. I’ll just make myself stop.” She took a deep breath. “Goodnight, Snowy.”

In the other room, Gladion wasn’t able to sleep either. He was plagued by thoughts of her, in just the same way. He thought he’d be better at handling his emotions for her by now. He wasn’t.

Lillie. Just her name made his heart light up, and he knew that was terrible. He was under the same roof as her again, but the distance between them felt like miles. There was so much he wanted to tell her.

‘You can’t,’ he said to himself, feeling empty and helpless.

That had to be true. He was absolutely devastated. He needed her, and it was utter heartbreak.

Gladion was certain that these feelings had been easier to bear before he was in her presence again. What kind of cruel joke was life playing on him to lead them back into each other’s lives? How was he going to manage to be around her and not break down? He felt foolish to have thought he could stay with her without incident. He’d have to make an excuse to leave tomorrow.

He’d have to leave her again, and he felt horrible for it.

‘It’s better this way,’ he said to himself, even as all he could think of was her face. He winced when in his mind’s eye he watched her beautiful smile fall into a frown at his disappearance.

‘ _ And I’ll never feel warm again _ ,’ he had said in the poem. But he had felt warm deep in his heart, today when he saw her again. She was both a blessing and a curse.

‘You can’t have her,’ he tried to tell himself, yet he wasn’t able to sleep until he allowed himself to think about holding her in his arms.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Gladion woke up to find everything quiet in the apartment except for a ceiling fan that hummed busily overhead.

The curtains were drawn over the glass balcony windows, but light still streamed in, making striped patterns on the sofa bed through the blinds.

How long had he slept?

He looked for his phone, and found it on the end table beside the bed.

10:01 am. No missed calls, not that he ever had many messages with the secluded life he lived.

That’s when he noticed a piece of paper right where his phone had been. It was pink and decorated with cartoon characters.

_ Gladion, _

_ I’ll be practicing for my contest at the studio down the street near the Hearthome Gym until around mid afternoon if you want to come by and check out what we’re working on. _

_ I realized I still don’t have your phone number, so mine is 772-351-2846. _

_ Please help yourself to anything in the house! _

_ (There’s a spare key under the jar of sugar.) _

_ ♥Lil _

He put the note back down on the table and sighed, running a hand through his messy hair. He sat up and looked around for Umbreon, who stared at him glumly from Snowy’s bed.

“How’s your leg, buddy?” asked Gladion.

Umbreon made a frustrated noise.

“It’s going to be uncomfortable for a few days. You’re going to be alright, though, and you’re really handling it like a champ.”

His partner appreciated the support, but didn’t appreciate how cooped up it felt being unable to move much.

“I guess we can’t really go anywhere with you like this, huh?” he said, recalling his dramatic thoughts in the middle of the night about leaving.

Umbreon begrudgingly agreed.

“Should I go to her, then?” he asked, eyeing the note.

Silence.

“I know, I’m screwed,” he said, getting up to head to the shower.

Umbreon agreed.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

In her practice studio, Lillie had fallen out of her pirouette for the second time in a row.

“I’m sorry, Snowy!” she groaned, shaking her head at herself. “I just can’t seem to focus today.”

They were working on the dance portion of their Pokemon Contest, a contemporary piece about learning to trust your partner. There were a lot of technical steps and they had to get it right, but even more importantly than that, they needed to convey the emotion of the piece for it to really affect the audience.

Snowy made a disgruntled noise and got back into starting position for the move they were working on.

“No, it’s not because of Gladion,” said Lillie, readjusting her ponytail.

Snowy seemed to disagree. She whipped her tails around in frustration that Lillie’s thoughts were elsewhere, and trilled with a sarcastic flair.

“I’m not in love with him and that is a ridiculous thing to say!”

Lillie grabbed a sip of water, blushing furiously.

“Alright, from the top! Let’s try this again.”

She reset the music and cleared her mind, focusing her feelings on the routine and what it meant to her when she choreographed it. And this time, she didn’t fall out of her turns. She watched Snowy beside her in the giant mirrors at the studio. They executed the performance flawlessly.

“Oh my, Snowy, it’s really good!” Lillie said happily when they finished the number. “It’s really good. I think it can win.”

Snowy made happy noises, pleased with itself.

“We’ll work on the acting competition now.”

Just then, there was a knock at the door and Gladion peered in. He had his hoodie drawn up around his face in his typical brooding way and he was carrying a cup of coffee.

“Gladion!” Lillie yelled excitedly for him. She stutter-stepped as she held back the urge to run into his arms.

“How’s it going?”

“Really good so far. I think we just perfected our dance.”

“Dance?”

“Have you really never seen a Pokemon Contest?”

“It’s been a long time. And I’m pretty sure they’re all different. I’ve definitely never been to one in Sinnoh.”

“Well, we’re competing in a Master Rank Beauty Contest, and here in Sinnoh that comprises of three competitions: the visual competition, the dancing competition, and the acting competition. The visuals are mostly Trish; I really can’t take credit for that. She’s an amazing designer and I’m so happy I get to work with her. And then we’re responsible for both a creative dance and a display of our moves.”

“I didn’t know you danced,” he said, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Yeah, I started taking lessons a couple months after finishing up Pokemon School and I really fell in love with it. At first it was just to try a new hobby because I was so bored and hated being home, but when I found out about these contests it really clicked for me.”

“Can I see it?”

“You’ll probably find it boring!” Lillie laughed, a little nervous.

“You’re famous for this, aren’t you? Why would it be boring?”

She blushed.

“Are you afraid to show me?”

“No! Absolutely not,” she said defiantly. “We’ll perform it in a minute, but could you first take a picture of Snowy and I practicing for Instagram, since you’re here?”

He sighed.

“Sure.”

“Thank you!”

After he took the photo, she and Snowy performed their dance for him. He didn’t understand any of the technicalities of the moves she was performing, but she looked beautiful. And more, he understood the story. She had always been so sensitive to the feelings of Pokemon, and now he could see that coming through in her art.

“It was beautiful,” he said, in awe of her.

“Thanks,” said Lillie, red-cheeked. “This is Snowy and I’s first Master Level contest.”

“You two are really in sync with each other.”

“We’ve been working hard!” she said with a big sigh. “Isn’t that right, Snowy?”

Her partner was truly satisfied with itself, licking its paw absentmindedly as though it was indifferent to the praise it cherished.

“And there’s also an acting competition?”

“Yes, that’s what we were about to work on next. We’re trying to perfect a use of Frost Breath with Aurora Veil that will reflect rainbow crystals out into the audience.”

“You can do that?” he asked. Gladion had only ever thought of the efficacy of a move in battle, and never its aesthetic qualities.

“Yes, and if we do it perfectly, I think we might have a shot to win. Ready, Snowy?”

The Pokémon was more than happy to show off. Gladion marveled at the rainbow lights that danced around the room as Snowy performed the moves. A couple of glowing ice crystals landed on his nose, wet and cold.

“It looks magical,” he said. His breath was warm in the icy air.

Lillie beamed.

“Thank you,” she said, thrilled to hear Gladion praise her. It occurred to her that she really cared if he was proud of her or not.

She and Snowy showed him a couple of other tricks they had used for contests before, like making a crystal castle out of ice beams. He was truly impressed with her, and he told her so.

She was both beyond embarrassed and pleased.

“It’s just Snowy and I, trying our best together,” Lillie said humbly. She suddenly remembered she had something to tell him. “Oh, so I, uh--I may have told Sadie that we’ll stop by her party later.”

Gladion raised an eyebrow at her.

“A party?”

“Yeah… more like… a hangout, I guess. It won’t be a crazy party. My friends are all artists and Pokemon trainers and I think you’d really like them a lot. Please, will you come?”

He couldn’t say no to her.

“If it will make you happy,” he said.

“Yeah, I think it will be fun.”

In the meantime, she wanted to show him around the city.

“We’ll finish up here and then we’ll go to the Poffin House,” she said.

Lillie was so happy, Gladion couldn’t believe that he had thought of leaving. His whole life he had silently adored her—pined for her, even—and that’s just what he was going to have to continue doing.

‘ _ Causing my heart to ache from the chains I’m held in away from you. _ ’

He was shocked to find that being with her now, he felt free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to my beta James for being wonderful and letting me scream about my ship to you. :* xoxoxo


	3. green eyes don't lie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things finally start to get juicy this chapter. :*  
> thanks again to the lovely James. xox

Gladion was mesmerized by Hearthome city. It was hard to say whether it was more beautiful in the day, with Mount Coronet against the sky like a protective guardian; or at night, when the city groaned to life against the endless darkness of the sky. Neon lit up all the little dizzying streets under the faded streetlights; cars whizzed by much faster than they should have in a highly populated, pedestrian area; people and Pokemon scurried around without much care for the oncoming traffic. It was chaos and yet it all came together like clockwork. 

Lillie’s picture was on a billboard above the liquor store, the ad for Heal Balls where she had acquired her pink hair. The employee at the register gave her a discount on her bottle of wine; Gladion had to pay full price for his beer.

She told him a little bit about her friends as they walked to Trish’s house for the party. It seemed to Gladion that everyone in this city was famous and talented. A YouTube star. Pokemon trainers with small followings in the city. Painters and musicians. He wondered if he had somehow gone wrong by choosing a life out of the spotlight.

“Oh, and then there’s Dave. He works at a coffee shop and he’s in the band with Mickey. He’s really into battling, so you have that in common. I think he has a crush on me,” said Lillie, turning pink.

A beast inside of Gladion’s heart growled possessively.

“Oh?”

“I know, I feel bad about it because nothing will ever happen. But he’s a nice friend,” Lillie said with a sigh.

“Oh,” Gladion said again, relieved this time. He told the jealous beast to back down.

They arrived at a neat two-family house with potted plants all over the front porch. Lillie rang the doorbell. Gladion took off his hood when she elbowed him.

“Ah, it’s Lillie!” Sadie shouted as she opened up the door.

Trish ran over and wrapped her arms around Lillie.

“This girl right here is a rockstar!” Trish proclaimed. “You’re gonna look so beautiful this Saturday, babe!”

“Thank you! Can I see the finished design?”

“Yes, I can’t wait to show you! You have to get a drink first, though!”

Gladion shut the front door behind him, feeling awkward.

“Oh, and who’s this?” asked Trish, raising the pitch of her voice in a way that made Lillie blush.

“That’s her  **_friend_ ** , Gladion,” said Sadie pointedly. “I told you, I invited him when we met at Amity Square?”

“Ohhh,” Trish drawled, brushing her hair out of her eyes. “Well, welcome! Everyone’s already pretty tipsy so you have to catch up!”

“Hi, Lillie!” shouted Dave from the kitchen down the hall.

“Hey, everyone!” she greeted, pulling Gladion into the house and into the kitchen.

Lillie introduced him to her friends without saying he was her brother, and he couldn’t figure out how that made him feel. Gladion didn’t really want them knowing, either, and he started to question why that was before figuring that line of thought would get him into dangerous territory. 

Lillie poured herself a glass of wine and joined a conversation with her friends in the kitchen. Gladion went back into the hall and sat at the bottom of the stairs, drinking his beer. He wasn’t antisocial, but he wasn’t quick to trust new people or start conversations, so he kept mostly to himself while Lillie was socializing.

Truly, he didn’t really know how to talk about himself at all; which was disconcerting to say the least, being that he was at a social event. What was he doing with his life? He didn’t have a clue. He wasn’t happy taking mindless jobs anymore and he couldn’t go back to the one he had left to travel. The best he had felt lately was being alone on Mount Coronet with his Pokemon. What would he do when he had to go back home to Kanto?

Sadie left the living room and noticed Gladion on his own.

“Hanging out with yourself?” she asked, taking a sip of her wine and leaning against the living room entrance.

“Maybe. Is that such a bad thing?”

She laughed, and her Drifloon was playing with her hair.

“No. You don’t really know anyone here, after all.”

“It’s hard for me to make new friends,” he said honestly. 

Sadie pouted and pet her Pokemon.

“We don’t bite, I promise. And we love Lillie, so we trust whoever she would bring here. So, what do you do, mysterious Gladion?” she asked, sitting down on the floor near him. She was blocking the hallway but didn’t seem to care. The partygoers in the kitchen were loud, and he caught himself hoping that Lillie wasn’t flirting with--what was his name? Dan? Dave.

“Trying to figure that out,” Gladion answered, taking a sip of his beer. “I’m backpacking around Sinnoh right now. I was hiking on Mount Coronet when my Pokemon got hurt and I came to the city.”

“A traveller, huh?” Sadie commented. She was chugging her glass of wine like nothing he had ever seen before, even at Academy parties. How could such a tiny girl drink so much? “I get that. I’m starting to think that I should travel more for my show. There are a lot of haunted places to discover in this world!”

“You have a YouTube show where you investigate hauntings, right? Lillie was telling me a little on the way here.”

“Spirit hunting!” she corrected, wrapping her free arm around her Drifloon that bobbled about at her side. She pulled it into a tight hug that looked uncomfortable. “Gus here is my partner. He’s absolutely passionate about spirit hunting! And he has a lot of fans.”

She released it, and now that it could breathe it seemed quite proud of itself.

“It’s said in folktales that a Drifloon is a signpost for wandering spirits,” said Gladion, watching it float in circles around Sadie.

“I’ve heard that!” she exclaimed excitedly. “Are you into ghosts too?”

He took another sip of his beer.

“Not specifically, I’ve just read a lot about Pokemon. I once took a class where we discussed the lifespans of Pokemon, so we talked a lot about ghost types.”

“No shit, huh? Where’d you go to school?”

“Moltres College. It’s a Pokemon Academy in Kanto.”

“A Pokemon Academy, really? Those are hard to get into. You must be really smart, and really good at battling, too. No wonder Lillie likes you.”

He blushed and looked away, downing a large portion of his drink.

“It’s not like you think,” said Gladion, half-mumbling.

“What do you mean?” Sadie laughed.

“It’s not… Lillie and I… aren’t like that,” he tried again.

“Okay,” said Sadie, but she rolled her eyes and laughed again before finishing off her drink. She pulled Gus into her arms. “I was gonna say, you know, what about a Pokemon professor?”

“Huh?”

“You said you don’t know what you want to do, right? But you know a lot about Pokemon, and you have a great education. I actually think they’re hiring teachers’ aides at a new Pokemon School in the city.”

“I… never thought about that,” said Gladion truthfully. He found himself reminiscing about a few of his teachers from the Academy who had mentored him. That was kind of a nice thought.

“I don’t know, just something I pictured,” said Sadie, shrugging while getting up to go get more wine. “Sometimes, I have visions.”

“Really?”

She giggled.

“No, but that doesn’t mean I don’t give good advice!”

She headed for the kitchen. 

‘A Pokemon professor, huh?’

He kind of liked it. His father had been a professor, too.

Gladion followed Sadie into the kitchen to grab another beer. Trish was talking to a guy with a blue mohawk--Mickey, Gladion tried to remember--and a couple of girls whose names he had forgotten beyond even a guess. Lillie was having a conversation with Dave.

She was laughing, and, fuck, she looked beautiful. One drink couldn’t be doing this to him, could it? It was like she shone with an inner light, her beautiful pink hair like neon around her face, and that smile, his summer smile--’Don’t fucking think about that.’

He remembered that earlier in the day he had bought a couple of joints at a shop near the coffee place. He would smoke that and relax. 

Gladion grabbed a beer and found the door to the back porch. He snuck out.

“So, next week, I’m participating in a competition at the park near my house. You should come cheer me on,” Dave was saying to Lillie, and Gladion was out of earshot before he could hear her answer.

The monster in his heart stirred.

‘This needs to fucking stop,’ he tried telling himself as he found the back steps and sat down.

The joint was a welcome relief from the anxious knots in his stomach. He couldn’t be having these thoughts about Lillie, but he knew there was no way to put an end to it. He had loved her for too long; and that was the deepest, darkest truth of it all.

Why did he have to be in love with her? Why did he have to be cursed to be in love with the only girl he couldn’t have?

He watched the smoke leave his lungs and dance against the sky, which was hazy and dark, and he missed the stars.

After a short time, the back door clicked open. It was Lillie, holding a glass of wine carefully as she made her way outside.

“Hey,” she said, brushing her hair out of her eyes as she shut the door behind her.

“Hey.”

“Are you not having fun?” Lillie asked as she sat down beside him.

“I am. I just wanted to smoke by myself for a little bit,” he said. “Can’t believe this stuff is legal here. I bought a couple joints before I met up with you at your studio this morning.”

“I know, right? It’s a lot different than Alola,” she said, somewhat wistfully. “How long since you’ve been back there?”

“Ten years,” he said, taking a puff of his joint. He couldn’t believe it really had been that long.

“Six for me,” said Lillie. “The first year I lived on my own I actually tried to go home for Christmas. That was a mistake and I haven’t been back since.”

She recalled that she had spent that Christmas at home in her manor bedroom with Snowy and her other Pokemon while her mother held a fancy party at Aether Paradise.

Gladion could imagine that. Their holidays growing up were never particularly warm, at least after his father was gone.

“Can I try some?” Lillie asked.

He looked at her with surprise but offered her a hit.

“I don’t really do drugs, but I’m already pretty drunk,” she explained.

“Be careful,” he said to her, watching her struggle to hit the joint.

She took a puff and laughed, handing it back to him.

“Don’t worry, I’m a big girl,” she teased.

“I don’t know how to get back to your apartment later,” Gladion said, trying not to laugh at her.

“I’ll be able to do it, you’ll see,” she giggled.

Lillie rested her head on his shoulder. He stiffened, but tentatively put an arm around her. Feeling relaxed from the joint, his fingers played with the soft hem of her sweater.

“I’m glad you’re here with me,” she said.

He took another puff of the joint and then leaned his head against hers.

“Why?”

“I missed you,” she said, as though it should be obvious to him, but it was also a confession.

He was silent for a moment.

“I missed you too,” he said at last. “Listen, Lillie, I’m--I’m sorry I left. I had to.”

It sounded feeble and searching, and maybe it was.

“I know. You told me in the poem,” she said carefully.

She was acknowledging it. The fucking poem. His heart started beating wildly.

“I know I… said some things…” he tried, but couldn’t seem to get anywhere. What could he say? The air grew tense around them.

“That you meant? Or that you didn’t mean?” she asked, and her heart hung on the answer.

“I… I, uh--” he started, when she turned and leaned her face up to him, and they brushed lips for a second.

“Lillie…” he gasped, inches from her face.

Being a few drinks in had made her brave. Braver than she almost couldn’t stand. But neither could she stand being apart from him when her heart wanted to be close. She blinked, leaning forward to give him a proper kiss when Trish opened up the back door.

“Sadie got me this new vape, but I can’t stop smoking cigarettes,” said Trish, her fingers already wrapped around a cigarette that she was struggling to light before she was even out the door.

Gladion and Lillie pulled away from each other.

“Dave and Mickey keep saying they’re going to have a battle. Like, where, you stupid dorks--in my house?” Trish complained.

She was completely wasted.

“Trish, are you okay?” asked Lillie, a little taken aback by her friend’s state.

“Yeah, of course, I’m a pro,” said Trish, finally managing to successfully light her cigarette. “I hope I wasn’t interrupting a moment.”

A rough breeze whipped up around them, suggesting harsh weather was on the way.

“No, no,” Lillie laughed, standing up and fixing her hair. Gladion pulled up his hood to hide in it. “We were just talking and smoking.”

“Oh, shit, can I have some?”

“Here,” said Gladion, getting up and handing her the remainder of the joint. “I’m gonna go in and grab another beer.”

“Sweet! Thanks!” said a grateful Trish, doublefisting both her cigarette and the joint.

Gladion disappeared into the house.

“What is going on with you guys?” asked Trish, nudging Lillie.

“Nothing,” Lillie said, adjusting her sweater. “He’s just, um, wary around new people.”

“So you’ve known him for a while,” said Trish, finishing up the joint.

Lillie struggled with what to say.

‘You’re being so weird, Lillie. Just tell her.’

“He’s actually my brother,” said Lillie, wincing at herself for speaking so quickly, and with a nervous lilt in her voice. “So, um. It’s not... like you think.”

Trish made a face like she did, in fact, think a lot about it; Lillie blushed, hoping it could pass for drunkenness. She thought about her lips against her brother’s. Did it count as a kiss?

“I didn’t even know you had a brother,” said Trish finally, ashing her cigarette and pulling her sweater tighter around her in the growing wind.

“Yeah, um… I haven’t seen him in ten years, so. Uh. It’s a strange situation.”

“I guess so,” Trish said, truly bewildered.

“A-Anyway, will you show me the costume now?”

That knocked Trish out of her reverie. Lillie let out a breath of relief.

“Oh, yes, for sure,” said Trish excitedly. She flicked her cigarette away. “Damn it, I already want another one, isn’t that terrible? Anyway, come on.”

They entered the house, leaving the declining weather behind. Music played from a laptop in the kitchen, but the guests had scattered, talking, and a few people were playing a video game console in the living room. Lillie was feeling pretty tipsy, but followed Trish’s example and poured herself another glass of wine.

They made their way down the hall and up the stairs, where they passed Gladion in a conversation with Dave and Mickey about Pokemon battling. Her heart beat a little bit faster, and she caught his eye as she followed Trish up the stairs. 

Lillie’s mind was racing trying to figure out the look in his eyes. There was something like longing there, peeking out at her from messy hair. Would he have kissed her back if they were left alone before?

Next to Trish and Sadie’s bedroom was Trish’s art studio, and it was a huge mess as always. There was a sheet draped over two dress forms.

“Are you ready?”

Lillie shook her head to rid herself of anymore thoughts of Gladion. “Yes, I’m ready! Please show me!”

Trish revealed the costumes and Lillie teared up.

“They’re beautiful,” said Lillie, clinging to her friend. “Oh, Trish, you did such a nice job!”

“You really like it?” asked Trish gleefully.

“Yes, I love them!” squealed Lillie, and they hugged. “I really think this can win, Trish. I really want to win.”

“You’re gonna win for sure!” said Trish. “I went soft and lacy for the dance competition, and more edgy for the acting one.”

“I think they’re perfect. The colours are going to be great with my hair,” said Lillie, touching the iridescent grey and purple fabric. It would look enchanting under Snowy’s icy Aurora Veil that they were attempting.

“Oooh, speaking of your hair, I got these,” said Trish. She took out a box and opened it for Lillie to see. “They’re crystals on hair extensions. I’m going to weave these into your hair. And I have matching crystals I’m going to attach to this collar I made for Snowy!”

“It’s so perfect, Trish, I can’t believe it. I might cry,” said Lillie, overwhelmed with emotion. Being drunk wasn’t helping her control her feelings in the least bit.

They hugged again.

“No crying! You look too beautiful!”

“You’re such a good friend!” whined Lillie.

“Oh, stop it; I’m not that great.”

The girls laughed with each other and gushed over the costumes before rejoining the party downstairs.

Lillie was happy to see Gladion looked more comfortable, still chatting with the guys. She smiled and went to the kitchen to refill her glass before getting roped into a conversation with Mickey’s girlfriend Hanna about her upcoming contest.

Hours passed while everyone mingled, listened to music, and played video games. It was getting pretty late when Sadie made an announcement. 

“Attention, everyone! There’s going to be a battle!” shouted Sadie from the bottom of the stairs.

“Are you fucking serious!?” Trish shouted and ran into the hall. “Where?”

“In the backyard!” Sadie declared.

“There’s really not enough space!” Trish yelled. She was in the kitchen with Lillie, who was quite drunk by this point, and Hanna dancing to a pop song that played from the playlist on her laptop. “Ugh, Lillie, come on; let’s stop these idiots from demolishing my house.”

“You should let them battle, Trish,” said Lillie; she was drunk, and a battle sounded exciting.

The party guests all scrambled into the backyard. Dave and Mickey were assembling on opposite ends, joking with each other, while spectators lined up on the back porch. Lillie ended up next to Gladion.

“Hey,” she said, just the same as she had earlier.

“Hey,” he said back, holding her gaze for just a moment too long.

‘Fuck…’ Gladion swore in his head, looking away.

‘That look is still there,’ Lillie thought.

Was it always there? Maybe she was just registering it for the first time tonight. How long, then? Since before they parted ways ten years ago? She swallowed.

“So who’s refereeing?” asked Gladion, trying to distract himself from Lillie.

“I am! I just had to get more wine!” It was Sadie, making her way onto the porch triumphantly holding up her full glass of wine. Gladion wondered what number drink this was for her tonight. “And convince my babe to let us have a battle. Thanks, Trishy!”

Sadie gave her girlfriend a sloppy kiss on the cheek and ruffled her short hair.

“I’m literally just out here to smoke. Fuck your stupid battle,” said a grumpy Trish, lighting a cigarette. “You idiots are so competitive.”

Dave and Mickey sent out their Pokemon, a Combusken and a Girafarig.

“Combusken, use Quick Attack!”

“Psybeam!”

Bright purple light pierced the darkness of the overcast yard. Dave’s Combusken dodged the psybeam and threw all its body weight against Girafarig, sending them both skidding across the grass.

“I fucking hate you guys,” sighed Trish with a disgruntled moan.

“You can do it, babe!” shouted Hanna.

“Combusken, now use Flame Charge!”

Orange and red flames engulfed Combusken’s body and sparks shot off it like fireworks as it charged ahead.

“Block it with Double Hit!”

All in all, Dave and Mickey were fairly evenly matched, and the battle could go on for a while.

“Do you want to go home now?” asked Lillie after watching the first half of the battle.

“You don’t care to see if Dave can, in fact, finally beat Mickey?”

“Not really,” she laughed.

“Okay. Whatever you want,” Gladion said, putting his empty beer on the porch railing.

Lillie made her goodbyes to Trish and Sadie and snuck away, beckoning Gladion to follow her. 

“Do you want to call a car to take us home?” he asked as they headed out the front door.

“No. I like walking in the city,” she said, a playfully drunken skip in her step. What she truly wanted was to be alone with him. “Did you have fun?”

Gladion was just a little tipsy, and very high. It was a good combination for him.

“Yes, I had fun,” he said.

“I told you my friends were cool,” she said, teasing.

“I didn’t doubt how cool you were, Lillie,” he laughed.

“That’s not what I said!”

“That’s what you meant.”

Laughing, they continued on in silence. She kept stealing glances at him, hoping to catch him doing the same. A couple of times they did, and they’d laugh and look away. Lillie wanted to reach for his hand but stopped herself. They had made it halfway home when the sky opened up on them.

“Want to call a car now?” he asked, pulling up his hood.

She twirled around with her face to the sky.

“No, I like the rain,” she said, laughing drunkenly.

“It feels like a storm.”

“I like storms, too.”

Thunder, and then lightning. Mount Coronet was fearsome in the background. The neon lights of the city buzzed faintly in the onslaught of rain. It was heavy and hard already, and sirens wailed somewhere far away. 

“You’re gonna fall in those heels!” he shouted as he watched her wobble across the street some strides ahead of him.

“No!” she shouted back and tried to skip ahead but almost fell. “Maybe.”

She used a lamp post to hold herself up as she laughed.

“That’s it, I’ll carry you,” he said, sighing determinedly. “You can’t move very fast in those.”

“R-Really?” she stuttered. “Are you sure?”

“Of course,” he said.

He gave her his hoodie to tie around her waist since she was wearing a skirt, and kneeled down so she could hop on his back.

“Your place isn’t far, right?” he said as he carried her. 

Lillie’s arms were wrapped around Gladion’s shoulders for support, and she buried her face in his neck. She forgot all about the rain. All she could think about was how close she was to him. She closed her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder in surrender to her heart.

“No, just a couple more streets.”

A streetlight fizzled on and off above as they made their way down the street, and the rain came down hard. They were already soaked when they made it back to the apartment building. She fumbled with her keys at the front door, laughing in a drunken haze as she struggled and the sky continued to drench them.

“Thanks for carrying me,” she said in the elevator.

He would always rescue her, and that was always her fantasy of him. He could still feel her breath on the back of his neck.

“It’s not a problem,” he said dutifully.

They greeted their Pokemon when they got to the apartment.

“I missed you, Snowy!” she exclaimed. Snowy didn’t seem too enthused, as though she could sense Lillie’s inebriation.

“Hanging in there, Umbreon?” Gladion asked. It mewled and complained. “I guess everyone’s in a bad mood tonight.”

“They’re just sad they were left alone for a little while,” said Lillie, petting Snowy’s head. After getting some affection the Ninetails seemed to forgive her for going out.

Lillie and Gladion said goodnight, and Lillie went to her room. She was taking off her wet clothes when all of a sudden she started to cry. It was like all of her emotions for Gladion hit her at once.

She wanted to kiss him and be close to him, which she knew was wrong, all of it was wrong; but she still wanted him. She had been lying to herself that she didn’t, and that realization hurt, too. Her heart ached. She loved him—in a way a sister shouldn’t love her brother—and even worse, she could no longer deny to herself that she loved him.

She crumpled onto her bed in her underwear, crying uncontrollably. She coccooned herself in blankets and sobbed, listening to the rain in the dark.

“Lillie… are you okay?” came his voice from the other side of the door. “Did you throw up?”

She looked over her shoulder and realized she hadn’t fully shut her door. He must have went to the bathroom and heard her crying.

“No, I didn’t. I’m fine, sorry!” she said, though her voice was wracked with the strain of her tears.

“Can I come in?” he asked. His heart beat wildly. He was in pain hearing her cry.

“Yeah,” she breathed, rubbing her eyes.

“Why are you crying?” he asked as he entered her room.

She couldn’t say.

“Is it because of me?” he asked in complete despair.

“Yes,” she gasped. She had tried to hold back, but she couldn’t.

“Fuck,” he swore, sinking to the floor with a horrified expression.

“I’m sorry,” she cried. “I’m so sorry, Gladion.”

His heart broke.

“Don’t cry, Lillie,” said Gladion hopelessly, running his hands through his hair. “What can I do? Do you want me to leave?”

“No, of course not,” Lillie said miserably. The last thing she wanted was to increase the space between them.What she needed was for him to be close to her.

“Then how can I fix it?”

Lillie dared to ask for the only thing her heart wanted.

“Kiss me,” she begged, wiping away her tears.

He was grateful that the room was dark, as he turned bright red. Frozen, he listened to the rain splattering the glass doors to her balcony outside her bedroom.

“I can’t do that, Lillie,” he said at last. His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest.

“Why not?” she demanded, tears falling freely down her face. “We kissed earlier.”

“It was more like bumping faces--”

“Do you want to kiss me?”

“It doesn’t matter if I want to,” he struggled to explain the chains that bound him from her, no matter what he wanted.

“That’s the only thing that matters to me,” said Lillie. She took a few deep breaths to keep from continuing to sob. “Please, kiss me.”

His soul was broken watching her cry, head spinning with desire to comfort her and fear at what could happen between them if he did what she wanted.

“If I give you a kiss, will you stop crying?” he asked. He was panicking, but he was out of alternatives.

“Yes,” she said with a bit of a hiccup.

He got up and walked over to her bed and sat on the edge beside her.

“I really mean it. No more crying,” he said. “It’s killing me to see you cry.”

“I’ll try,” she whispered, sitting up to be closer to him.

He brushed her still wet hair over her ear, and looked into her eyes in the dark. Thunder and lightning crackled outside. He didn’t think he would ever be ready for this, but he let his fingers fall to her chin and lifted her lips to his. It was gentle at first, soft; but they had both been waiting for this for so long. For a second he lost himself and ran his tongue over her lips. She moaned, parting her mouth. Their tongues met just briefly, and it was electrifying.

It was like coming home.

“More,” she whimpered as he started to pull away from her.

“We shouldn’t,” Gladion said into her mouth, barely able to take his lips from hers. “You’re drunk.”

“I don’t care,” she breathed, kissing him again while he was too stunned to resist. She had already wanted this. Being drunk had just increased her knowledge of her own feelings, and she wanted to express them.

His heart raced. He couldn’t believe that this was happening. He reached out and traced his fingers down her arm, hands shaking. Her skin burned under his touch.

“You can touch me,” Lillie said encouragingly.

He let his fingers glide up and down her arm again, and then to her neck and up the side of her face. He stroked her cheek and brushed her hair to the side. His beautiful Lillie. She was everything he had ever wanted for so long, and now he was on the edge of giving into his feelings for her. It didn’t seem real.

“We’re cursed, you and I,” he said, stroking her hair. He was lost in her eyes. They hadn’t been able to look each other in the eye properly when they first found each other again, and now he could see why. They were both drowning in complicated emotions.

She’d seen it, too. Earlier, at the party, as she caught his gaze while heading up the stairs. The terrible, confused longing.

“We’re in it together,” she responded.

“I hadn’t thought of it like that. It’s nice,” he said, kissing her again. She was greedy now, and she opened her mouth wide for their tongues to slip into each other’s mouths. Thunder and lightning clapped in the sky, but they didn’t notice. Nothing in the world mattered like this kiss. It was everything.

Lillie wanted to keep going. She moved to take off his shirt, but he caught her wrists and held her gently, but firm.

“No, Lillie.”

“But why?”

“You’re drunk.”

“Not anymore, not really,” she pleaded. “I don’t care.”

“I do,” he said seriously. “You won’t be drunk the first time I make love to you. If I get to do that.”

Tears stung her eyes. Why did she keep crying tonight?

“I just… want to be with you,” she said, defeated and sad.

He kissed her forehead. He wanted to tell her he wanted to be with her too, but he was too nervous.

“Now’s not the right time.”

Lightning cackled as their lips met again. Even though they had decided that they would not go further tonight, they were much less timid. He put a hand on the back of her neck, tangling his fingers in her hair, while he sucked and nibbled at her sweet lips.

They broke apart, finally, for air.

“Will you at least sleep with me tonight?” she asked, sniffling.

He wiped away her tears.

“If that’s what you want.”

“It is,” she said, opening her blankets so he could get close to her. “You do have to take off your clothes, though. You’re all wet from the rain.”

Gladion took off his shirt and dropped it on the floor. It was dark, but Lillie could see all of the tattoos on his chest and arms. Though she couldn’t make out the designs, she could tell he was practically covered in ink. She traced a finger over his abs.

“How many tattoos do you have?” she asked, curious about his body. He was very muscular, too. How did he get so strong?

“A lot,” he answered with a sigh. “Truthfully, I don’t know how many.”

He moved to pull the blankets up around himself, but she stopped him.

“Take off your pants, too.”

“But I’m--”

“It’s okay,” Lillie said knowingly.

He hesitated, but obeyed her. Lillie blushed as she realized she could see how big he was in his boxers.

“There, you got almost all my clothes off. Are you happy now?”

“Yes,” she said, laughing, which was his goal. “Now, hold me.”

He pulled her against him and they both let out a breath as their skin met. She settled against his chest, entwining her legs with his. His cock pressed against her stomach.

“Sorry about that,” he said, stroking her hair.

“It’s okay. I like it.”

He liked the feeling of her breasts pressed to him as well, even as they were caged in the ruffled bra she still wore.

The thunder and lightning had moved further away, so it made less noise and light in the sky outside, but they could still hear it.

“This reminds me of the night before you left home,” she said, not wanting to let the night go yet.

“We had a lot more clothes on,” he said. “Actually, you were wearing pretty tiny pajamas.”

She smiled because she knew he remembered.

“But you held me like this. I knew you were leaving. It was horrible.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, heart aching that he knew he had hurt her. “I tried to tell you that earlier, but the words wouldn’t come out right. I’m still not sure what to say.”

“You don’t need to be sorry,” she said, touching his face. “I’m not telling you to make you sorry. I just need you to know what it was like for me, too.”

He thought he might cry.

“And you never answered any of my texts, so I just…”

“I’m so sorry, Lillie. Please forgive me,” he said, feeling unworthy to even kiss her anymore.

Lillie stroked his cheek and gave him a kiss intended to dispel all his pain and remorse. It was almost like she had that power, he was so spirited away by kissing her.

“It’s okay, Gladion. I forgive you. Kiss me a little longer before we go to sleep?” she asked, staring into his eyes.

He couldn’t say no to her, or those pretty green eyes he always dreamt about.

“Of course, Princess,” he mumbled, and brought his lips to hers once more.


	4. gilded cage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thankyou as always to James!  
> idk if anyone is reading this lol but this is one of my favorite chapters so please enjoy  
> also in the flashback scenes Lillie is 15 and Gladion is 17, so it takes place about 4 years after the anime

Lillie woke up with her head on Gladion’s bare shoulder, lips pressed against his neck. They had kissed and touched each other until the early hours of the morning, and in her hazy moments upon waking she recalled the warmth and softness of his lips pressed to hers, and his hands cupping her breasts and stroking her hips. It had been heaven on earth, and as she came to consciousness she found she didn’t want to move.

How long had she dreamed of this? They hadn’t been completely intimate yet, true, but what they had done still made her heart feel lighter than a feather. She studied his face while he slept, her precious big brother--her lover, almost, and this thought made her cheeks warm. But she was happy. Happier than she could remember being in a long time.

‘I’m in love with him, and I know it for sure now,’ she thought, recounting all the nights she had spent over the years sadly touching herself to the thought of him--questioning herself and her complicated feelings. And finally she had kissed him, touched him, and fell asleep almost naked in his arms. It felt right when she knew it should feel wrong, but it didn’t; not even a little.

It took all of her strength to pull away from Gladion and get out of bed, careful not to disturb him. She rummaged in her closet and threw an oversized flannel over her bra and underwear, pulling on slouchy socks to comfort her feet against the chill of leaving the blankets.

Lillie snuck out of the bedroom and closed the door gently, slipping down the hall to the kitchen. She turned on the kettle for some tea as Snowy padded over to greet her, the Pokemon opening its mouth wide in a big lazy yawn.

“Good morning, Snowy,” said Lillie, chipper and refreshed. She was grateful to not be hung over at all. “Let me dig through these boxes and find those treats for you.”

She rummaged through phone cases, new types of pokeballs, backpacks made by expensive labels.

“Here we go!” Lillie declared, procuring a pastel-coloured gift box. “Aw, so cute! They look like little macarons!”

She gave Snowy her treat and scrolled through her phone while she waited for the water to boil. Her fans had been spamming her studio pictures with well wishes for her upcoming contest.

_you’re the best, Lillie♥_

_i’ll be rooting for you this weekend babe_

_Snowy is EVERYTHING_

_does anyone have extra tickets???_

_Lillie and Snowy forever!!!_

Lillie smiled, butterflies in her belly dancing with nerves. She wanted to win so badly. She and Snowy had been working hard on their routine, and she wanted to prove to herself that she could do this. She wanted to perform well for her fans, and most of all she wanted Gladion to be there to see it. She wanted him to see her be victorious.

When the tea was ready, Lillie poured herself a cup and made her way over to the living room.

“Good morning, Umbreon,” she said as she settled on the couch by the bed the Pokémon was sleeping on. “How are you feeling?”

Umbreon pretended to go back to sleep.

“You’re not one for mornings, huh?” Lillie teased, turning on the TV.

Startlingly, she was greeted by her own face on the news. Her eyes widened as she tried to process what she was seeing. The newsperson returned to the screen and continued her report.

“This morning it was announced that Pokemon Contest star Lillie Aether is being eyed as the new Brand Ambassador for the Aether Foundation, as the brand prepares to revamp its image and gain support from the people of Sinnoh for the new facility they are proposing in Veilstone city. Lillie Aether is, of course, the daughter of the foundation’s President, Lusamine.”

“Are you kidding me?” Lillie’s mouth fell open in shock. “Is she serious!?”

“Their headquarters, Aether Paradise, which is based out of Central Alola, is dedicated to the preservation and conservation of all Pokemon. Earlier this year, Aether Foundation President Lusamine--” the newsperson rambled on about the foundation’s activities, but Lillie had stopped paying attention in her disbelief.

“I can’t believe it!” she exclaimed. “That… that…”

“What’s going on?” asked Gladion, shuffling into a clean t-shirt as he made his way down the hall to the living room.

“That bitch!” Lillie swore, which she never did, and she noticed Gladion’s eyes widen when it came out of her mouth. “Goddamnit! Shit! I hate her! She’s such an evil bitch!”

“Whoa, what the fuck?” Gladion rubbed his eyes and yawned. “What happened?”

“Mother happened,” Lillie spat, clenching her fists so hard that her fingernails dug into her palms. She stood up and paced around the room angrily. “That awful woman released a press conference saying that I’m going to be the new Brand Ambassador for the Aether Foundation.”

“You didn’t say yes to that?” Gladion was shocked.

“Of course not! I haven’t even spoken to her! My agent tried to call me yesterday morning but I was so focused on contest practice, I just never called him back. Mother must have talked to him.”

“Your agent can’t consent to a deal without your permission, can they?”

“No, but the conversation must have went favorably enough that Mother went ahead and declared to the world that she owns me.”

“Don’t say that. She doesn’t own you--”

“Then why is she acting like she does!? Why can’t she just leave me alone!? Why does she have to try to take what I made for myself?”

Tears rolled down Lillie’s cheeks in spite of herself. She had taken too many pains to create her own life for herself to be crying over her mother’s selfish actions now, years after she had departed Alola and gotten away.

Gladion pulled his sister into his arms.

“Hey, don’t cry…” he said softly, though he was also angry for her. There was nothing their mother wouldn’t do for her own benefit, even if it meant treating Lillie as property and using her celebrity to generate support for Aether Foundation. 

“I just hate her so much,” Lillie cried against Gladion’s chest. He squeezed her.

“She is a horrible bitch,” he said, lost as to how else he could put it. Lillie was always willing to give their mother the benefit of the doubt when they were younger, but he knew what kind of person Lusamine was.

“I know they’re still testing on Pokemon at Aether Paradise. I can’t have my name associated with that,” Lillie sobbed.

Her tears leaked, warm and wet, through Gladion’s shirt.

“Lillie… it’s okay.”

“It’s not okay! She’s treating me and my whole career like a toy! She’s like a spoilt child with the world as her playground. She knows she can do whatever she wants to whoever she wants, and she feels like no one can stop her.”

“Well, she’s wrong; and you’re going to be the one to make her understand that. You’ll have to tell her. Make her see there’s no way you would ever agree to represent Aether Foundation.”

“How can I do that, though?” Lillie sniffled. “She’ll never get on the phone with me. My contest is in two days and I don’t want to go into press for that event and have the reporters only talk about her! If Mother has her name attached to me, no one will even care what Snowy and I are doing on our own.”

“Then we’ll have to go to Alola and stop her.”

“My contest is in two days! I can’t go to Alola!”

“We’ll take a private jet. We’ll leave now, and we’ll come back right away. You’ll have all day tomorrow to recover.

“Are you serious?”

“It’ll work. You need to confront her,” Gladion explained. “That’s the only way she can ever be stopped. If not, she could drag this stupid Brand Ambassador thing out for months; the papers would love it.”

“You’re right,” Lillie whimpered, still trying to gain control over her tears that leaked all over Gladion’s t-shirt. “I don’t even want the media to know Mother and I are in a disagreement. This needs to be quickly and decisively shut down, before most of my fans find out.”

“I’ll come with you,” Gladion said dutifully, kissing Lillie on the forehead.

She reached up to wrap her arms around his neck and leaned into him.

“Gladion… you don’t have to…”

“I want to support you. And I’ve decided that there’s something I want from Aether Foundation as well.”

“What’s that?” she asked, looking up into his eyes.

“All of the research on Type: Null,” said Gladion. “I made a mistake in not taking it with me before. I’d like to have all of it in my possession.”

“What will you do with that stuff?”

“I don’t know, but I don’t like that it’s information they have that I can’t access. It always bugged me, but I figured I’d just never go back there. Now, I have the perfect opportunity.”

He released her and headed over to the kitchen area to make coffee.

Lillie reflected on her childhood with her mother, remembering all the times that woman had scorned her, neglected her. How she had even tried to open an Ultra Wormhole using Nebby as a key, with that poor innocent Pokemon’s life on the line. How she spent all of her time at Aether Paradise and never came home to be with her children. How Lusamine had said she was going to look for Mohn, their father, but they had never found him...

“Do you feel like she ever really tried to look for Father?” Lillie asked her brother, staring miserably at her feet.

“No. It was all an act. She was too self-absorbed for anything that would benefit us as a family. She said she was so devastated by Father’s disappearance that it made her withdraw from us, but there was more to it than that. She’s just a selfish person. Maybe it did start after Father was gone, maybe not--but she didn’t want to take care of us. All she ever cared about was her research.”

“I thought so, too,” said Lillie, folding her arms with a sad sigh.

“She doesn’t matter,” Gladion said, turning on the coffee pot. “We’ll make her leave you alone, and then she doesn’t have to exist for us again.”

“You’re right. I can do this,” said Lillie, trying to get herself pumped up.

“You can.”

“Now, how do we get a private jet here?” she asked aloud.

“We call Aether Paradise and demand one. We haven’t in a decade, but there’s no reason we shouldn’t be able to,” Gladion said.

“I’ll call Hobbes. He’ll help me, I know it,” said Lillie.

She grabbed her phone and scrambled for her house number. After a short and sweet conversation with her former butler, Lillie discovered that there was an Aether Foundation jet at the airport in Hearthome due to head back to Alola in a few hours, and if they hurried they could make it aboard.

Lillie and Gladion took turns showering, Lillie first so that Gladion could have his coffee and properly wake up, and they dressed in clothes that would be comfortable for the six hour plane ride.

“Do you think you’ll be okay in your pokeball, Umbreon?” Gladion asked as they were getting ready to leave.

Umbreon mewled and stood up, demonstrating that its leg was much better, if not fully healed by now. Gladion returned her to her pokeball and they headed to the airport.

The Aether Foundation members on the plane gave Lillie and Gladion strange looks, and they both figured that these employees had no idea who they were. Better off that way, probably. They settled into two chairs beside each other and watched Hearthome city disappear out the window. It wasn’t long before they both fell asleep, and Gladion dreamed of a time long ago.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

**10 YEARS EARLIER**.

Late summer in Alola was hot and sticky. The sun was almost menacing in the sky with its heat. He was used to wearing all black in the sun, but this was painful. He was actually glad that he’d get to be in the manor that day.

Gladion rode Silvally home. He felt like a knight returning home from war on his trusty steed. He was tired, and full of that wild mix of emotions that only gripped him when he was heading home. Home to her.

But he had decided that he was leaving for good. He had gotten accepted to a Pokemon Academy in Kanto, called Moltres College. He would go there and get a work study and save. He’d already cleaned out his personal account with his mother’s bank and switched over to his own, so he had a good chunk of cash at his disposal, plenty to get through school--but he wanted to work. He didn’t want to know that he was relying on his mother’s money. He would take care of himself.

He hadn’t told anyone yet, having applied and even visited the Academy entirely in secret.

Gladion barely stayed at home as it was, but he decided he needed to make his goodbyes. He wouldn’t feel right if he didn’t. His mother probably wouldn’t even be there, and he didn’t care. It wasn’t like she had ever had time for him, and he couldn’t wait to be beyond her reach; to have a life that she couldn’t touch. All that mattered to him was Lillie. His heart soared at the thought of her, which was just another thing he needed to get away from, although it killed him to know it.

“Young Master Gladion,” said Hobbes fondly as Gladion came through the grand front door. “It’s a pleasure to see you, sir.”

“Hello, Hobbes. Where’s Lillie?”

“I believe I last saw her head to your father’s study.”

“Thank you. I’ll be staying for dinner tonight,” he said courteously.

“Wonderful, sir,” Hobbes replied with a bow.

There were butterflies in his stomach as he went to look for her. He hadn’t seen her in almost a month, and he missed everything about her. It got more difficult to be around her each time he came home from adventuring, as she always grew more lovely, but still he couldn’t wait to see her face. No matter how much it would wound and disarm him, it would heal him all the same.

‘I’m supposed to be here to say goodbye,’ he told himself, but still his heart ached as he traipsed through the maze of their house to his father’s study.

Gladion saw Lillie through the doorway, simply staring wistfully at their father’s bookshelf while Magearna and Snowy looked on with curiosity. She wasn’t wearing bright white, which was unusual, but he supposed she had grown out of that. She had on a simple green sundress; it really brought out the colour of her eyes. Her hair in two simple braids. She looked just like an angel to him, and he felt afraid he’d lose all his nerve before he even talked to her.

“Lillie.”

She looked up at him.

“Oh, Gladion! I’m so happy you’re here!”

She smiled wide, and his heart skipped a beat. Snowy made excited noises from her side, and Magearna cooed in its strange synthetic voice.

“Just for tonight,” he affirmed, hoping she didn’t notice the redness in his cheeks.

Why did she have to look so beautiful that he felt shy even addressing her? He felt that she was like a princess, and he below her; a lowly knight that could only serve her, but not look upon her face.

“At least I won’t be eating alone tonight,” Lillie said in high spirits. In all honesty, she was quite lonely; so lonely, in fact, that no one even knew, for there was no one to tell of her loneliness.

“Mother hasn’t been around?” he asked, turning serious. He didn’t need to say goodbye to his mother, but he might’ve wanted to, if she had given him the opportunity. She only thought of herself, of course, and would be living at Aether Paradise. There was a reason she kept a whole separate manor there, and it wasn’t for her to spend time with her children. He supposed she was living there, working until late in the night; or worse, having one of her fancy parties filled with fancy alcohol, fancy clothes, and fancy drugs for all of the rich successful people of Alola. Those parties had become more and more frequent as he and his sister had gotten older.

“Not for weeks,” Lillie said, leaning down to pick up Snowy. She held the Vulpix close to her and stroked its head. “Did you have some business with her?”

“I wanted to tell both of you something,” Gladion said, crossing his arms. “But since she’s probably not going to show up, I’ll have to just tell you.”

He sighed, and ran a hand through his hair.

‘Doesn’t matter if I’m ready for this or not,’ he thought.

“What is it?” asked Lillie curiously.

“I got accepted to a school. A Pokemon Academy. It’s in Saffron city… in Kanto.”

“That’s amazing! But… far,” she said, and his heart sank to hear the sadness in her voice.

Gladion watched the recognition of what he was saying spread across her face.

“I came to say goodbye,” he said bluntly, at a loss for anything else. Whatever he had truly wanted to say was no longer in his head, and he watched the smile fade from her face.

“What do you mean?”

“I leave tomorrow. I’m just here to get my things.”

“Oh…” Lillie registered slowly. “I had no idea you were planning this.”

“I didn’t want anyone to know,” Gladion admitted, taking a deep breath. He wished he could be comforting her instead of wounding her as he was. His chest felt tight and heavy. “I didn’t want anyone’s opinion…. Or Mother interfering in any way…”

‘But, Gladion… couldn’t you trust me?’ Lillie thought sadly. Her eyes shone with pain and he looked away from her as he couldn’t bear it.

“I can’t believe you’re really leaving,” she said, dumbfounded. She was hurting, but knew he must be happy, which made her feel confused. Shouldn’t she be happy for him? She was, but… “Will you come back to visit at all?”

“Probably not,” he said quietly. “I want to build my own life for myself… away from here.”

“I see,” Lillie replied. “I suppose it’s not that surprising. I’m happy for you, Gladion, really.”

“Thanks,” he said awkwardly.

She put Snowy down and approached him, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her cheek on his chest. He wanted to pull her close to him in turn, but he was frozen.

‘Damn it,’ Gladion swore in his head while she hugged him. Lillie didn’t seem to mind as she held him for a few moments and then let go with a smile.

“I’m going to have tea in the courtyard,” she said, and walked away.

He sunk against the wall of the study when she was out of range. He had missed his chance to hold her.

‘Stupid idiot,’ he cursed himself.

Gladion went to the window in the hall that led out to the courtyard and watched Lillie take a seat at the patio table with one of their father’s books. She waved to a maid for tea, ever the elegant lady. Her smile was bright in the sun, and he could see the green of her eyes, sparkling, from his vantage point, brought out by her green dress.

Truly, she was a princess. An angel. And he knew his cravings for her damned him to a life of heartache.

‘Not for much longer,’ he tried to tell himself in vain. He knew he would always want her, even though he desperately wanted not to. 

He sighed and retired to his room. It felt nearly impossible to deal with his feelings for Lillie, and he could only hope that distance and time would lessen them.

‘I’m cursed,’ he thought hopelessly.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

That night, Gladion lay awake in his bed staring at the ceiling. Despite every atom in his body screaming at him to stop, he thought about his inappropriate feelings for Lillie. He wanted to tell her how he felt. He always swore to himself he couldn’t, but what about now when he was going away for what felt like would be forever? Was that enough of an excuse to confess to her?

‘That would still be a catastrophe,’ he told himself. ‘But you’ll also probably never see her again.’

His mind was at war. He needed to get rid of these feelings.

Sometimes Gladion wrote poetry when he felt overwhelmed by life. Particularly when he wasn’t out traveling and training and had to be at home with his thoughts. He didn’t think he was particularly good at writing, but it was cathartic for him. Sighing, he grabbed a journal and a pen and stretched out on his bed.

Maybe he could purge his feelings for her onto the paper and make them go away.

_Lillie, the most beautiful--_

He crossed that out.

_Lillie, like the flower, like the summer--_

That didn’t sound right either. Focus. He thought about her from today, through the window in the courtyard in her bright green dress that matched the colour of her eyes.

_my Lillie,_

_more beautiful than the flower you were named for,_

_the envy of the garden._

‘This is so lame,’ Gladion chided himself. Still, it felt better to articulate his feelings. Writing poetry wouldn’t make them go away, but at least it could give him an outlet.

He looked around his room and saw his second place trophy from the Alola Pokemon League. He was excellent at Pokemon battling. Poetry, maybe not so much.

“I’m certainly not winning any awards for poetry,” he said to Umbreon. The Pokemon jumped up on the foot of the bed and curled up there as if to offer him support.

He thought about Lillie’s smile, and his heart lit up like the sunrise after a long night.

_your smile is like the summer, and i’ll never feel warm again_

_as punishment for leaving you behind._

That’s right, he had to leave her. He felt criminal to be abandoning her to life with their mother alone. But this was the only way he could survive. He couldn’t have a healthy life in Alola. His father was gone forever. His mother was negligent and absent. And he was hopelessly in love with his sister, making him the worst of all.

_my love for you is like the sunset, hopeless and passionate_

_as the wish that you will hold me in your memory--_

_the way you live, perfect, in mine_

Was that too cheesy? It was how he felt.

_causing my heart to ache from the chains_

_i’m held in away from you._

He read it over and felt like crying. How could he bear all these feelings for her and not be able to be close to her? The only choice was to get far away. At the same time, how could he never see her again? Be separated from her forever? No matter what he did, his heart would be burned.

Just then, there was a knock at his door. Gladion looked at the clock and was surprised to see that it was late. Later than he already should be up with an early flight tomorrow.

“Hello?”

“Hey… Gladion?” It was Lillie. 

He took a deep breath.

“Yeah?”

“Can we watch some TV together? I can’t sleep.”

He jumped up and closed the notebook, hiding it in a desk drawer.

‘Fuck,’ he thought. A chance to spend more time with her before he left was both wonderful and terrifying. He opened the door for her, and saw her standing there in her pajamas. She had ditched the white lace she used to wear for a small pink tank top and shorts, which were very revealing. He turned red and spun quickly away from her so that she wouldn’t see.

“Yeah.” Gladion was uncharacteristically nervous and had to take care not to stumble over his words. “Sure. Come in.”

Lillie padded into the room in her frilly socks, glancing around at his things. It looked just as she remembered, although she certainly did not come in here often enough to have much of a general picture. It was quite plain compared to the flashy way he dressed. She supposed he wasn’t really around often enough to redecorate, and that it would stay like this in his absence. She could see his luggage packed and stacked in the corner of the room.

“Where’s Snowy?”

“She’s already sleeping and I didn’t want to wake her up,” said Lillie, taking a seat on the bed and petting Umbreon. “Hi there.”

He grabbed the remote and sat on the floor at the foot of the bed near her feet.

“What do you want to watch?”

“I’m not sure,” she replied, absentmindedly stroking Umbreon’s ears. “Let’s see what’s on.”

Truly, she simply didn’t want to be alone, and this was her desperate attempt at holding onto him before he left her forever.

Gladion turned on the TV. Royal Mask was being interviewed in the ring after his match, giving a motivational speech about Pokemon battling.

“Oh, we missed Royal Mask’s battle,” Lillie said, disappointed.

“I still can’t believe that he’s your teacher,” said Gladion casually, eyes scanning the battle summary that scrolled across the bottom of the screen.

“Isn’t Professor Kukui so cool? He and Professor Burnet are having another baby soon! They have the cutest little family.”

“Is that so?” he mumbled, aimlessly flipping through channels.

He was trying very hard not to think about her on his bed in her tiny pajamas. Too many times had he fantasized about her getting into bed with him, especially in dreams when he couldn’t control himself.

‘Don’t think about those dreams right now,’ he thought desperately.

“What about a scary movie?” Lillie asked, laying down on her stomach and propping her head up with her hands.

“I thought you already couldn’t sleep?” he said as he turned to look at her in shock.

“Yeah, but not because I’m scared! I’m just not sleepy.”

“But you will get scared and then it will be worse.”

She had the nerve to roll her eyes at him.

“Now we have to watch something scary so I can prove to you that I won’t!”

He actually laughed at her. She crossed her arms and gasped indignantly.

“Really, Lillie, I don’t think you can handle a horror movie. Let’s pick something else.”

“I absolutely can handle it, and that’s what I want to watch!”

He stared her down but she would not give in, so he shook his head and shrugged.

“Okay, but I’m not responsible for what this does to you.”

“Hmph!”

Gladion flipped through the menus to the horror section.

“Do you at least want me to pick one I’ve seen before so I can tell you when the scary parts are?”

Lillie blushed.

“I don’t want to make you watch something you’ve already seen,” she mumbled.

“It’s fine. I happen to really like horror movies, so I have some favourites I could watch all the time.”

She wanted to show her gratitude, but she couldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing this made her slightly less likely to jump or scream.

They started the movie. Leaning against the bed, he could feel Lillie move nervously at the first tense scene.

“Do you want me to sit up there with you?” he asked. He felt motivated to calm and protect her even as his heart pounded.

“You don’t have to…” she drawled, but it was clear that she wanted him to.

He sighed.

“I knew you’d be scared,” he said as he sat down beside her in the bed.

“I’m not scared!” she declared, sitting up beside him and crossing her arms.

“Cover your eyes for this next part,” Gladion told her.

She obeyed him, but peered through her fingers out of morbid curiosity. She screamed.

“I told you not to watch.”

“I couldn’t help it! What was that thing!?”

“An evil spirit. You can uncover your eyes now.”

She took her hands from her face and brought them nervously to her lap. He looked over at her and noticed she was shivering. Struck by the urge to hold her and unable to, Gladion unzipped his hoodie and draped it around her shoulders like a blanket. Blushing, Lillie gathered it around her.

“Thanks,” she said meekly.

“Watch the movie,” he told her.

Several times more during the film, she jumped and gasped. Towards the end she was terrified and her hand shot out and covered his. She squeezed his hand during the entire climactic scene. He tried not to shiver at her touch.

She sighed when the scene was over. It was only then that she noticed she was holding his hand.

“S-Sorry…” she turned bright red and brought her hands back to her lap.

“It’s okay,” he said quietly, staring at her face as she looked pointedly away from him.

It was painful to realize how much he wanted to kiss her. ‘You can’t,’ he told himself sternly.

They finished the movie in silence.

“Did you like it?” he asked as the credits rolled.

“I liked that it had a happy ending. It was really scary, though.”

“Yeah, that’s why I picked this one for you. I didn’t think it would be that bad.”

“I’m sure I’ll be fine. It’s just a movie, right?”

“Yeah, it’s not real.”

An awkward and drawn out quiet.

“Thanks for watching a movie with me,” she said, getting up. She shrugged off his hoodie, revealing her tiny outfit. He tried not to avert eyes awkwardly.

“No problem.”

“Goodnight. Have a safe flight tomorrow.”

“Thanks. Goodnight.”

She exited the room quietly, shutting the door behind her, and he fell onto his pillows with an exasperated sigh.

Then he heard her scream, and two seconds later she flung open his door and threw herself onto the bed beside him. Her arms encircled his waist in a frenzy and she buried her face in his chest.

“Lillie! What happened?”

She gasped for breath in fear, clinging to him.

“The hallway was really long and dark but I made it to my room, and then I thought I saw something when I opened the door.”

He blushed at feeling her pressed against him.

“Lillie… I’m sure it’s nothing… it was probably just Snowy...”

“I’m not going back there. I’m sleeping here with you.”

He thought his heart was going to beat out of his chest.

“You can’t do that!”

“Please, Gladion! I’m too scared to be by myself!”

His head was spinning. Lillie, sleeping in his bed? With him? He got nervous that he’d get hard against her and he shifted his hips away from her.

“This is why I told you not to watch a scary movie,” he scolded her, unthinking.

“I know, you were right; I’m stupid, but now I’m too scared to be alone and I’m staying with you,” Lillie sounded like she was on the edge of tears. 

This struck him, and he softened.

“You’re not stupid,” Gladion said softly, allowing himself to wrap his arms around his sister. He felt her tremble. Maybe he did too.

“I’m sorry,” she said into his chest. 

“It’s okay,” he cooed, stroking her hair. His urge to soothe and protect her was stronger than all other feelings. “How about you stay here until you fall asleep, and then I’ll carry you to your bed?”

“Okay,” she agreed, stifling her urge to cry. She settled into his arms.

Gladion couldn’t believe what was happening. He was really holding her in his bed. But he shouldn’t be thinking like that. It wasn’t romantic, she was just scared and wanted her big brother to protect her.

Then why was his heart beating so fast? Why did he have to fight the not-so-innocent thoughts about his hand slipping beneath her little shorts?

‘She’s too old for this. Maybe she likes being close to me, too. As more than a brother and sister.’

He backed up his hips further away from her, hoping she wouldn’t notice.

“So, are you excited for school?” Lillie asked, after many moments of them lying there in silence and listening to each other’s breathing.

That snapped him out of his anxious thoughts.

“Yes,” Gladion said truthfully. Aside from leaving Lillie behind, every aspect of his situation was ideal. He was getting to travel and go to his dream school. The future looked so much better than it had for him in a few years. “It’s supposed to be a really challenging program, so I’m sure it’ll keep me busy.”

“I can’t believe you’re really leaving.”

It was the second time she had said that today. He didn’t know what to say. Was it really hurting her so badly that he was going away?

“I know. I know it’ll be hard for you… to be here alone with Mother. But you’re strong. And you can leave, too, you know? When you’re ready.” It felt like the most affectionate thing he could say to her under the circumstances.

“You’re right,” she said after a moment. “I suppose I’ll have to.”

“I believe in you, Lillie,” he said, breathing in the floral scent of her hair. “You’re going to be okay.”

“You are, too,” she said, knowingly.

“Thanks,” he whispered, and couldn’t stop himself as he squeezed her close.

They were quiet after that. Gladion listened to Lillie’s breathing even out as she fell asleep.

Having her in his arms was like a dream. He knew he should carry her back to her room like he promised, but he couldn’t let her go. Thoughts about how he’d never be able to hold her again tortured him. He tried to memorize the feeling of her body, pressing himself completely against her now that she was asleep and he was certain his body wasn’t going to do anything unwelcome. She was so soft, and he let his hands carefully slide up and down her back. He was lost in his thoughts, holding her close, as the hours passed until he could see light outside his window.

Finally, he got up, and picked Lillie up into his arms, and carried her to her bed.

He opened her door, and Snowy lifted her head and stared at him.

“Sorry, Snowy… I stole her for the night,” he said quietly, shuffling in and placing Lillie on her bed. He tugged at the edge of her blankets and folded them in half to cover her.

He wished he could steal her away with him to Kanto; rescue her from their witch of a mother and this big lonely house. She deserved so much more than this gilded cage.

Snowy made a small noise, and Gladion put a finger to his lips to silence her.

“Shhh, she’s sleeping,” he said, but Snowy made a noise again, and he took a moment to realize that the Pokemon’s complaints were directed at him.

Was he forgetting something?

‘The poem.’

“I can’t give it to her,” he said, and promptly flinched as he realized he was loud. Lillie rolled onto her side but didn’t make a noise or stir.

Snowy wagged her tail and stared pointedly at him.

“Can I?” he asked in a whisper, his heart beating fast.

Snowy just wagged her tail, eyes boring into him.

He didn’t know why he did it, and he was sure he was going to regret it later, on the plane to Kanto, knowing that she knew his deepest secret. But he went back to his room, tore the page with the poem written on it out of the notebook, folded it in half and put it on her nightstand.

He took a deep breath, bent over and kissed Lillie on the forehead.

“I’m blaming you if this upsets her in any way,” he whispered to the Vulpix, carefully closing Lillie’s bedroom door and heading back to his room with his heart on fire.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

The Aether Foundation jet was a little over halfway to Alola. Gladion opened his eyes to find Lillie also asleep, slumped against his shoulder, their heads resting together. He didn’t see any Foundation employees paying attention to them, so he pressed a kiss on her forehead before pulling away guiltily.

He turned to look out the window. They passed through fluffy white clouds like mountains of snow. None of it was as beautiful as the city skyline against Mount Coronet in Hearthome city. He wasn’t pleased to be going back to Alola, but he had a mission. He would be successful, and also make sure that his princess was safe, which mattered most of all. He wouldn’t let her face this alone.

Gladion turned to look at her again, and his heart melted. How did he still have these feelings for her, after all this time? It was like when he met her again it all came rushing back. She was different, a woman; and yet she was the same. Beautiful, gentle, sensitive. The only thing truly good in this harsh world. He remembered kissing her last night and his heart swelled. How she had begged for him to make love to her. He imagined her pretty face contorted in pleasure and had to look away because they weren’t alone.

Head against his shoulder, Lillie was also dreaming. And of the same time he had been. She dreamed of the day she read his poem.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

**10 YEARS EARLIER.**

“Gladion,” Lillie whispered his name as she snuggled into the pillows.

She reached for him, but upon opening her eyes she realized that he wasn’t there. She looked around. Snowy stared at her innocently from the end of the bed. She was in her room, alone. It was light outside her windows, meaning she needed to get up and get ready for school soon.

“Good morning, Snowy,” she struggled to say, fighting being awake.

The thought of falling asleep in her brother’s arms filled her with an uncomfortable ache she didn’t fully understand. Why did she feel like she still wanted to be there? She blushed, and turned to her nightstand. She reached for her phone when her hand hovered over a piece of paper, its edges jagged as though it had been ripped harshly from its home. Lillie unfolded it and read the scrawled handwriting.

_my Lillie,_

_more beautiful than the flower you were named for,_

_the envy of the garden._

_your smile is like the summer, and i’ll never feel warm again_

_as punishment for leaving you behind._

_my love for you is like the sunset, hopeless and passionate_

_as the wish that you will hold me in your memory--_

_the way you live, perfect, in mine_

_causing my heart to ache from the chains_

_i’m held in away from you._

She read it, and felt stunned so she read it again.

‘A love letter…? ...From Gladion?’

For her?

“My Lillie…” she said, lost in the words with her cheeks brightly flushed.

Was there a hidden message here? Or was he simply declaring his love for her?

‘His love for me? That can’t be right,’ she thought, though her cheeks were absolutely burning.

“My love for you is like the sunset,” she read for a third time, “hopeless and passionate.”

That really sounded like a love letter. Her heart felt like it had been carried away by the ocean. Was this real? Did he really feel this way? And why was something in her feeling strangely happy and light?

‘I’ve probably got this wrong. I’ll just ask him,’ she thought, feeling as though her heart was still being washed out in the tide.

Snowy was gazing at her curiously.

“I need to talk to Gladion,” said Lillie, getting up and making for his room.

Snowy made a protesting noise, but Lillie paid her no mind. She marched to Gladion’s door and knocked. Silence. She knocked again.

“Gladion?”

Just then she noticed Hobbes over the rim of the balcony, passing by the foyer in the hall.

“Hey, Hobbes? Good morning. Is Gladion in the dining room?”

“Miss Lillie, your brother already left for his flight to Kanto. Please come to the dining room as soon as you can, your breakfast is getting cold.”

Her heart sank into her gut, and she felt far away from her body.

“T-Thank you, Hobbes,” she stuttered and padded back to her room somberly.

‘That’s it? Just like that? He’s gone?’

“I don’t know what to think, Snowy,” Lillie said as she walked back into her bedroom. “Maybe he just wanted to tell me… no, that can’t be… I don’t know… he just wanted to say… well... ”

Snowy looked skeptical.

“I know. He obviously knows how to use his words well,” she said, opening up her closet with a nervous bounce in her step. Gladion clearly had chosen what he wanted to say to her carefully. “If I’m reading it right… it’s… well, wouldn’t you say it’s terribly romantic?”

Lillie felt shame seethe across her skin.

Snowy lifted her front paw to her mouth and licked at it.

“I know, you’re right. It’s just early. I’ll read it again later and I’m sure it will make more sense.”

But Lillie couldn’t focus in school. She read the poem over and over again at her desk, carving the words into her heart.

‘ _As the wish that you will hold me in your memory--the way you live, perfect, in mine_ ,’ she read to herself for the fiftieth time. Oh, Gladion. How could she forget him?

And… did he really think she was perfect?

“What’cha got there, Lillie?” asked Mallow, scooting her desk over to hers. Apparently class had just broken for lunch and Lillie was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t realize.

“Oh, um, it’s nothing,” said Lillie hurriedly, putting the letter away and looking for her lunch.

“It doesn’t seem like nothing,” said Lana. “You’ve been staring at it all day.”

Lillie’s cheeks turned pink. Could she tell them? Not who it was from, certainly, but perhaps she could trust them with her general dilemma. The boys were on the other side of the classroom, lost in their own conversation. She wished Ash was still here, but he had gone home years ago now. He and Gladion were always close. If Ash were here, maybe she could tell him about the poem in confidence and find out what she needed to know.

“Hey, Lillie, you’re zoned out again,” said Mallow. Her facial expression looked a little concerned.

Lillie took a deep breath and faced her friends.

“Okay, I’ll tell you, but it’s a secret, okay? Just between us. Don’t even tell the boys.”

“Whoa, it’s that juicy?” asked Lana, eyes wide.

“Well, come on, Lillie, what is it?” Mallow chimed in.

“Someone--I don’t know who,” Lillie said quickly, “wrote me, well… a love letter. A poem to be exact. At least, I think it’s a love letter. I’ve never gotten one before, so I can’t be certain.”

“A love letter!?” squealed Mallow.

“Keep your voice down, Mallow,” Lana chided her, looking over her shoulder at the boys. Sophocles was showing Kiawe something on his computer, and they were completely oblivious to even their Pokemon who were playing off to the side. “That’s totally major. And you have no idea who it’s from?”

Lillie was certain her face would turn permanently red from this. She sighed heavily, completely overwhelmed.

“N-No, um…” she searched for a lie, which felt so horrible to her, but she had to, “it was left in my mailbox, so, it could’ve been anyone…”

“A secret admirer?” Mallow blushed even at the idea.

“Well, can we see it?” asked Lana.

Lillie bit her lip. It’s not like they would know Gladion’s handwriting. She dug in her bag and passed the letter to Lana.

The blue-haired girl read it in a studious silence, and then sat back in her chair with a dopey smile on her face.

“That’s so romantic!”

“Let me see!” Mallow snatched it away. She read it quickly, determined so gauge just how intense this secret admirer situation was. “Wow, Lillie… that’s pretty serious.”

“What can I do?” asked Lillie hopelessly. 

“Well, you can’t do anything unless you have some idea of who it is,” said Mallow.

“You really don’t have a guess, Lillie?” asked Lana.

“N-No, no idea…” she lied, trying to focus on her lunch but unable to eat. They couldn’t ever know it was Gladion. They wouldn’t understand.

Understand what? Did she even understand? Her heart had gone out into the ocean again and her stomach churned in its wake.

“Lillie? You can have this back now,” said Mallow, holding out the letter to her.

Lillie took it and stuffed it away in her bag.

“Please… keep it quiet,” she said again, trying to hide the true despair she felt at the idea that anyone could know. And her friends hadn’t been any help. If anything, confirming that it was, of course, a love letter just made her more confused.

“Don’t worry, Lillie,” said Lana.

“We’d never make fun of you or anything, either,” Mallow added. “I just wish I could know who wrote it!”

“They’re really artistic with writing, for sure,” said Lana, and Mallow nodded.

The two girls started chatting, veering the conversation off on its own course and away from Lillie, for which she was glad. She stared at her food and lost herself in her thoughts again.

She lived in her head for the rest of the day. In the car ride home she did nothing but read the poem again. Snowy made sad and concerned noises from beside her, and she reached out and patted its head, eyes focused on the lines on the paper.

What could she do?

Lying in her bed that night, she opened up a text message to Gladion on her phone.

 _I got your poem_ , she typed. Then she deleted it.

_I’ve been thinking about your poem all day._

She deleted that too. There was no way of bringing it up that seemed natural. What if addressing it at all was a mistake?

_Can you explain the poem you left me?_

Delete. She didn’t need it explained to her. She understood the horrible sweetness of it, and what it meant. It occurred to her to her horror that these feelings he had for her could’ve been a big part of why he wanted to leave so badly.

_Your poem was beautiful. I love you too._

Lillie deleted that, too, hands shaking. She felt tears leak out of the corners of her eyes. She was sad. And… angry. How dare he leave her with something like this when he was going away forever? How dare he give her no option to reply to his confession? How could he let her know this was how he felt just as he left her life?

She clung to her pillows as she cried.

How she hated that she loved him too much to hate. She knew that even if he hadn’t left they could never be together, and it burned. Lillie fantasized sadistically about her mother finding out. Lusamine would have to pay attention to them, then, wouldn’t she?

But, no. Lillie could never tell anyone. This was private. It was between only her and Gladion. She remembered sleeping in his arms last night; how good it felt to be close to him. She could’ve sworn she spent the whole night in his bed, although she had of course woken up in her own room. If only she knew then, when she had been pressed against him, what she knew now… oh, how she shivered at that thought. She was still struggling to shake off her tears, but her hand went between her legs as she thought about being in his arms again.

She stopped herself, yanking her hand away.

‘No! I shouldn’t,’ she scolded herself. ‘It’s wrong.’

But it felt like there was a little monster in her core, begging for satisfaction. Could she at least think about someone else, if she had to do this? She tried to imagine a popular actor, or athlete, anyone--but her thoughts always went back to her brother. How he always cared for her and protected her when no one else did. He was her knight in shining armor, and she had always adored him. She was just now realizing how much, and the weight of it suffocated her.

‘How do I live with this?’ she thought, as her hand travelled beneath her shorts, successfully this time.

Breathing heavily and holding back more tears, she stared out her bedroom window at the moon.

“I hate you, Gladion,” she said to it, but her heart was on fire, it was so cruel and untrue. “I love you so much.”

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Lillie opened her eyes when they were about fifty minutes from Alola. Her head was on his shoulder.

“Good afternoon, Sleeping Beauty,” Gladion said, noticing she was awake.

“I dreamt about you,” Lillie said, sitting up. She yawned.

He was reading a book about the evolutions of Pokemon. She wondered why he was interested in that, but her brother was always puzzling something out on his own.

“I dreamt about you, too,” he told her. She smiled as though he were lying to tease her. “No, really. About the day that I left you the poem.”

“Huh. That’s what I dreamed of, too.”

“Now you’re teasing me.”

“No, I really did.”

“That’s weird,” he said, laughing.

She laughed too.

“Where are we?” she asked, looking out the window at the bright blue sky and clouds.

“Almost there,” he said, closing his book. “Are you ready for this?”

She swallowed.

“I have to be, right?”

“I believe in you, Lillie,” he said.

Her heart lit up and she wanted to kiss him. There were Aether Foundation employees all around the cabin, so she refrained, but she wanted to give him some sign of affection.

“After we’re done with this… no more chains,” she said.

“That’s copyrighted,” he said back, though his heart fluttered as she referenced the poem.

She laughed pretty hard at that.

“We’re going to be okay,” she said, smiling.

“I know it. We’ve survived worse.”

The captain announced that everyone get buckled into their seats for landing, so the Aether Foundation employees on the flight all settled around them. Gladion and Lillie stole glances at each other the rest of the flight, which went almost disturbingly smooth. As though it were so easy for them to be going back to a place of so much turmoil and trauma that they had both escaped.

Lillie felt a pang of fear in her belly as they landed, as though they had come straight to the lion’s den. She hadn’t seen her mother in six years. She didn’t want to be afraid of her anymore.

‘I won’t let Mother have her way,’ she thought fiercely, trying to raise her morale.

“You can do this, Lillie,” Gladion said to bolster her.

“Welcome to Aether Paradise,” said the captain over the loudspeaker.


	5. somewhere to belong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've caught up to myself so there won't be a steady chapter update from here on out, but i've already written some of both of the final chapters and i'm determined to finish. happy new year to all and love to JAMES for being the best beta :)
> 
> this chapter is LOADED with drama and the long awaited lemon, so have fun

Sunlight shone down like a beacon as Gladion and Lillie descended the staircase from the jet onto the artificial island of Aether Paradise, thousands of miles away from Hearthome city. Gladion shielded his eyes from the sun with his hand.

“Too bright,” he said, feeling revulsion to be returning to the supposed perfect weather of Alola. He never liked the heat much, and the endless sunny days were always more something he tolerated rather than enjoyed. There had been a time when he was adjusted to wearing all black in ninety degrees, but that hadn’t been for ten years.

“I forgot how hot it is here,” said Lillie, following him down the stairs from the plane. She was just getting used to the chill of fall approaching Hearthome city, and she missed the breeze. Already Alola felt suffocating, like she couldn’t breathe. Across the horizon she could see the other islands, but without Mount Coronet grounding her, she felt weightless. Sunlight reflected off the sharp angles of the Foundation buildings, creating a terrible glare. 

The clothes they were wearing were too warm for the Alolan climate, but they were determined to make their stay brief, so they hadn’t packed anything to change into. They would have to bear the heat.

A familiar face approached them on the landing platform. Lillie smiled wide once she could make out the gentle features of his face.

“Good afternoon, Miss Lillie. And Master Gladion. How wonderful it is to see you.”

“Oh, Hobbes!” Lillie exclaimed. He was deep in a bow, but Lillie scrambled up to him and hugged him.

The butler blushed.

“This is not necessary, Miss Lillie,” he said, though the warmth she showed him touched his heart.

“But it’s lovely to see you! You were always so sweet and caring while looking after me and I’ve never forgotten.”

“I must say, I have fond memories of those times myself.”

They smiled at each other.

“Alola, Hobbes,” said Gladion.

“Alola, sir. You are looking well.”

“It’s been a long time.”

“Much too long, sir. I prepared a special jet here myself to take you back to Hearthome city when you have finished your business.”

“Thank you so much, Hobbes,” Lillie said, getting emotional now. “We’ll be heading back as soon as we’re done here. I have a Pokémon Contest to perform in on Saturday, so I really can’t stay.”

“Our time is short then, I see,” Hobbes said, stroking his mustache. “All the more reason I am glad I saw to the preparations myself, if only to meet with you for this small bit of time.”

“Oh, Hobbes. I hope Mother is treating you well,” Lillie sighed.

“I’m afraid I don’t see the Lady President much. The manor has been quite lonely for some time now, since you children grew up and left. The Pokemon keep me company,” the butler said in his steadfast way. “It would bring me so much joy if you were to visit again soon.”

“We’ll try, Hobbes,” said Gladion, and Lillie was surprised, though she figured he must be moved by the amount of affection between Lillie and the man who had been her guardian most of her life.

“I’m always available if you need anything,” said the old man, bowing again.

“You’re the best,” said Lillie, and she blew him a kiss as she and Gladion walked toward the grand entrance of Aether Paradise.

The huge building was stark and blinding in the Alolan sun’s piercing light, flooding both Gladion and Lillie with memories of their childhood that danced like movie scenes in their minds. 

“Gladion… I’m still scared,” Lillie said quietly as they approached the main doors.

Gladion looked around, making sure Hobbes had vanished onto the jet to make his final preparations, and wrapped an arm around Lillie’s waist. He gave her a quick but passionate kiss that made her weak in her knees before releasing her.

“I know you’ll be fine. You can handle Mother,” he told her. “I believe in you.”

Lillie nodded. There were nervous but excited butterflies in her belly from their kiss, both frightening and thrilling that they could’ve been caught by any of the employees scattered around the premises. 

“Good luck to you, too. I’ll meet you back here?” 

Gladion reached out and squeezed her hand.

“Yes, before you know it. And then we can go home together.”

Home. Lillie’s heart fluttered. It was strange that home wasn’t here in Alola anymore; in fact, this place felt foreign, as though her memories were just dreams of a life that never really happened to her. And more… did Gladion see a home with her? Having him with her always was almost too much to wish for, but now that she had been reunited with him for a few days, she dared to want it. 

Lillie took a deep breath and shook her head as the great front doors to Aether Paradise slid open in front of her. Transitioning from the tropical climate outside to the cool artificial temperature of the Aether Foundation building was jarring. Employees in white jumpsuits scurried this way and that across the glassy halls.

“Welcome to Aether Paradise. May I help you?” asked a woman at the front desk, her hair pulled back into a tight bun.

Lillie swallowed and shook off her nerves.

“I’m here to see Lusamine.”

“I’m afraid the President isn’t taking appointments today. It’s her private office hours.”

“Oh, she’ll make time for me,” said Lillie with a sickly sweet smile. “I’m her daughter.”

The woman with the tight bun blanched, and Gladion took this opportunity to sneak away to the elevator.

“You’re… you’re Lillie Aether?” the employee confirmed in a meek voice.

“I am.”

The woman blushed.

“I’m so sorry, Miss. I’ll let the President know you’re coming right away.”

“No, no need,” said Lillie, knowing that to get what she wanted she would need to surprise her mother; and, of course, halt any steps to be avoided or deterred by her. “She’s already expecting me.”

It was a lie, of course, which Lillie didn’t like to do; it went completely against her personality, but surviving this ordeal required her to take desperate measures.

The employee bowed.

“Go right ahead, Miss Lillie.”

“Thank you. Have a good day,” said Lillie, turning away from the front desk and heading to the other side of the expansive hallway, to the manor where her mother lived and worked. She tried to regulate her nervous breathing.

‘She’s just a person. Not a monster,’ Lillie thought as she walked along, avoiding the eyes of the Aether Foundation employees that followed her curiously.

She steeled her resolve as she approached the manor that looked so much like the one she grew up in. Gladion believed in her, and she had to do this for herself, too. She tried to remind herself that the sooner she took care of things, the sooner she could be back with him. Back to her own life in Hearthome, with Snowy and her other Pokemon; with Trish and Sadie; with all her friends from the party that would come to her contest performance to support her.

Her mother didn’t own her life anymore.

Lillie opened the doors to the manor.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

Gladion instinctively pressed the button on the elevator console that he needed to take him down to the labs. As a child he had always walked around Aether Paradise like he owned the place, accessing whatever research interested him in whatever room he felt like letting himself into. He had more sense now to be afraid of getting caught.

The basement hallway seemed darker than he remembered, but he found the room he needed with ease. The research lab where Type: Null’s data was held was now locked with a passcode. Gladion tried his birthday, and Lillie’s. Neither worked.

“Fuck,” he growled, already frustrated. He thought hard, looking over his shoulder to see if anyone was coming. If he couldn’t solve this, he might have to come up with another plan.

As a last effort, he input his father’s birthday. A green light blinked, letting him know the door was unlocked.

‘What are you thinking, Mother?’ he asked silently to himself, opening the door.

She always surprised him. Maybe she really was devastated by the loss of his father Mohn, which she always used as an excuse for her behavior. Gladion supposed she could possess those feelings, even if she was ultimately a selfish, cold-hearted creature. 

He hoped Lillie was doing okay with her.

‘Lillie. Be strong. I’ll be there for you as soon as I can.’

Gladion flicked on the lights and sat down at the computer, taking out the hard drive he had stopped to purchase on the way to the airport in Hearthome city. Tapping his fingers nervously on the desk, he plugged in the USB cord and booted up the computer.

The home screen for the Aether Paradise computers was familiar to him, filling him with a bizarre deja vu reflective of the days he used to spend pouring over these devices in his childhood, trying to learn as much as he could about what the Foundation was up to. There was even a time when he fancied that he’d be running this place as an adult. It was strange to remember, because he didn’t want that anymore. Truthfully, he had just wanted his mother to realize how intelligent and useful he was, and to be proud he was her son. Stupid, really. 

Gladion was full of bitterness as he navigated the computer’s database. Type: Null’s records were old now, so he had to look back far in the archives. There were countless new research projects in the way, filling him with morbid curiosity. He could spend all day reading about the experiments, if he had the time. Worst of all, he was sure whatever the Foundation was doing to Pokémon in these trials would make his stomach turn. 

It took some doing, but he found the folder labeled BKP Development. He didn’t have any time to spend reading through it now or reminiscing. He transferred the whole folder to the hard drive and took a deep breath while it loaded.

Just as the rush of getting away with stealing the research began to course through him, the laboratory door opened.

“I was wondering when you were going to show up,” said Gladion, alert and tense now.

“Young Master,” drawled Faba, crossing his arms as he entered the lab with a smug smile plastered on his face. “I saw your darling little sister enter the manor and figured that spoiled rats travel in packs.”

“So you came as quickly as you could to stop me. Aren’t you clever,” Gladion mocked him, keeping his eye on the file transfer. It was almost there.

“You didn’t really think I’d let you leave with my research, did you?” asked Faba, adjusting his glasses.

“Silvally is my partner; has for years been my partner, since I rescued it from the chains you put it in. I’m the only one who does have a right to this research—not the abusers who experimented on it.”

“Young Master Gladion… you speak of the beast that I created with my own hands. Are you sure you want to talk about entitlement to property?”

“Silvally’s not property, it’s a living thing—and I care for it. All of the information on it should be with me.”

The transfer of the BKP Development folder neared completion. Gladion just needed to distract Faba for a short while longer.

“Don’t you have new creations to torture? Why are you wasting your time with me?” asked Gladion.

“Listen here, you little punk,” said Faba, showing his anger now. He clenched his fists and bared his teeth like a wild Pokémon. “No more childish bullshit—I’ve had enough of it from you to last me a lifetime. This is my lab; my research. Leave it be and get the fuck out of here. And you can rest assured I’m telling Mommy about this.”

“No need to get nasty, Faba,” said Gladion, watching the file transfer complete. He unplugged the hard drive and put it back in his pocket.

“I can’t help it when I’m dealing with trash,” Faba grunted. “Hypno! Teach this punk a lesson! Use Psychic!”

He threw his pokeball in the air, but Gladion was already releasing Silvally.

“Air Slash!”

The Pokémon appeared, and Silvally’s attack was faster than Hypno, sending the Psychic type flying against the wall. It crashed to the floor with a wail.

“A lucky first strike,” said Faba, overconfident as always. “Get up and use Hypnosis!”

“Silvally, use Crush Claw!”

Faba didn’t expect Silvally’s speed. Hypno had just gotten up when Silvally’s next attack struck, leaving no time for him to dodge, and Hypno was knocked back to the floor unconscious.

“Damn it! You little shit,” Faba snarled at Gladion, returning Hypno to its pokeball. “That’s my research! My hard work! All my valiant effort to impress Lusamine!”

“Tch, as if there’s honor in what you’ve done. Torturing innocent Pokémon—the way you traumatized Lillie!”

“Oh, please—as if I give a fuck who stands in my way. Type: Null, your little sister—what consequence are they to me, a genius scientist? I’d do it all again if I could advance my position in the Foundation.”

A flame flared in Gladion’s gut, and he saw red.

“You’re not touching Silvally, and you’re  **not** touching Lillie,” he growled. “Ever again.”

Faba laughed.

“Oh really? And what are you going to do about it, beat me in another childish Pokémon battle?”

At that moment, Gladion’s fist collided with Faba’s face, and a sickening crack resounded in the lab chamber.

“Fuck!”

Deep red blood spurted all over the sterile white floor.

“You fucking little shit! You broke my fucking nose!”

“Silvally, return,” said Gladion, his knuckles stinging, as he shoved Faba aside against the wall and walked past him to the exit.

“Get back here!” shouted Faba, both hands clutching his gushing nose.

“I’m letting you off easy,” said Gladion, pausing in the doorway without looking back. “If you ever threaten Lillie or Silvally again, you can expect a lot worse than this.”

Faba groaned and growled, and Gladion left the labs to find his princess and bring her home.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

In the manor offices, Wicke was typing away furiously at her computer. The woman looked mostly the same as Lillie remembered, except for a grey streak in her hair that definitely hadn’t been there in her youth. Wicke looked up when she saw Lillie enter the room.

“Excuse me, this area is restricted,” said Wicke over her computer, but she gasped and covered her mouth when she realized who she was looking at.

She was a woman, no doubt, and with pink hair; but it was pulled up in a ponytail bordered with a little braid like Wicke remembered. She wore an oversized sweatshirt over leggings, yet Wicke saw a small blonde girl in a white dress in her mind’s eye instead of Lillie’s shadow.

“Alola, Wicke,” said Lillie with a genuine smile. Wicke had always been kind to her. After a childhood with a cold mother, Lillie had never forgotten those who had been warm and kind.

“M-Miss Lillie!” Wicke stuttered, and her eyes lit up. “Alola, my dear! How long it’s been!”

Lillie giggled, beaming now.

“It’s good to see you, Wicke,” she said. “How are you?”

“Fine, my dear. Fine—but how are you? You look so grown up! And so beautiful!”

Lillie felt sentimental. She had always been so focused on escaping her mother, she didn’t realize there were people in Alola she truly missed. People who were good.

“Is my mother available?” asked Lillie, focusing on business. She had a mission.

Wicke blanched. 

“Um, the President is quite busy…”

“I absolutely need to speak with her right now, Wicke. I came all this way,” said Lillie with determination.

“Okay, um, I’ll just peek into her office…” Wicke’s heels clicked along the pristine floor as she made her way over to an impressive mahogany door. She knocked twice, then cracked the huge door open several inches.

“Lusamine—I mean, Madame President, someone is here to see you—”

“You know I’m not taking appointments today, Wicke,” said Lusamine, her eyes not leaving her computer screen.

“But, it’s—”

“Me,” said Lillie, pushing her way into the room. The doors were heavy, but she used all her strength and barged her way in, past Wicke who had covered her mouth in surprise. The happy and sentimental feeling Lillie had felt melted away when she saw her mother again. Lusamine made for an intimidating figure, dangerously gorgeous and dressed strictly in all black and white.

Lusamine actually stopped typing for a moment to examine Lillie before returning her eyes to her computer.

“Oh, it’s you,” the President said carelessly, scanning an email she had just received. “With that horrible clown hair. I hardly have time for you today.”

Burnet, who was revealed to be quietly typing at her laptop in the other corner of the room, actually gasped audibly. Wicke merely closed her eyes for a moment, shaking her head and crossing her arms with a deep frown set into her lips.

“I’m sorry you have to put up with the sight of me,” said Lillie to her mother, who wouldn’t look at her, “but I have something extremely important I need to discuss with you and I’m not moving from this spot until you give me ten minutes to say what I came here to say.”

Lillie thought her heart might beat out of her chest. Her fingernails dug into her palms so that she wouldn’t shake with nervousness, a bad habit she had since she was a child.

Lusamine’s eyes were far away, and it was hard for Lillie to tell if they showed any emotion. Lillie swallowed, trying to puzzle out her mother’s detached expression.

“You have five minutes,” said Lusamine under her breath. She turned to Burnet and Wicke. “You two—leave. I need to have a private discussion with my daughter.”

Wicke nodded, realizing she was at an impasse, and immediately turned away; Burnet held her ground, looking teary-eyed. The professor took a moment before speaking, as if she were carefully gathering her thoughts.

“I think your hair looks really pretty, Lillie,” was all Burnet said before following Wicke out the door. 

Lillie guessed that Burnet had wanted to say more, but was too afraid of Lusamine’s reaction. She thanked the professor silently as she heard the door close behind her.

“So, Lillie, what have you come all the way here to discuss with me?” asked Lusamine, her hands on her hips as her eyes, still unreadable, fell on her daughter’s face.

“I won’t be the Brand Ambassador for Aether Paradise, and you shouldn’t have announced something like that directly to the news without speaking to me first. So, don’t do that again. Please,” said Lillie, struggling through her full statement.

“That’s what you wasted your time to fly here and talk to me about?” asked Lusamine, practically rolling her eyes. She began pacing back and forth in the office, her body language cross and irritated. “Honestly, you’re disappointing.”

“How… how do you mean?” asked Lillie, strength she had gathered starting to diminish with her mother’s attitude.

“You came to me with something that simply nothing can be done about. Of course you will represent Aether Paradise. This shouldn’t even be a discussion.”

“I will not!” said Lillie, nails digging into her palms again. “I don’t want my image to be associated to what you guys do here. There are rumours you test on Pokemon, and I know it has to be true.”

“Who do you think you are to say that to me? You believe nasty rumors over your own mother?” spat Lusamine.

“I have reason to believe them!” Lillie was shouting now, and color was rising in her cheeks. “I remember what went on here when I was a child!”

“You are an ignorant child still, Lillie!” screeched Lusamine. “You don’t know anything, and even if you did—I am still your mother, and you will do as I say.”

“I haven’t heard from you in six years, Mother!” Lillie shouted incredulously. “No Christmases, no birthdays. And you haven’t spoken to Gladion in even longer!”

“That has nothing to do with this conversation!” Lusamine responded.

“It has everything to do with it! We have absolutely no relationship anymore. None. You let that happen. And now that I’ve built my own life without you, you think I’m going to let you control my career? I won’t allow it!”

“You just blame everything on me, don’t you? Like I’m the worst mother in the world. You think I’ve never done anything for you? Forgetting that you grew up in a mansion on an island, surrounded by toys and Pokemon that other children didn’t have?”

“You  **are** the worst mother in the world!” Lillie screamed, worried now that her palms must be bleeding.

“Well, I’m glad we can agree on how we feel about each other. What I wouldn’t give for a well-behaved, pretty little daughter who listened to her mother and wanted to support her company.”

That stung, and Lillie’s eyes watered.

“I won’t be the Brand Ambassador, Mother,” said Lillie, wiping away the silent tears that fell from her cheeks. She didn’t want to let herself break down, but she couldn’t control that she had started to cry.

“The Foundation needs this, Lillie, so you will,” said Lusamine, fumbling with the drawers on her desk. “Or I will disinherit you from Aether Paradise.”

“What?” asked Lillie, her heart dropping past her knees to her feet. Tears continued to roll down her cheeks.

“I’ll change my will, and none of the Foundation will belong to you when I die.”

“You wouldn’t do that,” Lillie muttered in disbelief.

“Of course I would,” said Lusamine, angrily rummaging through her desk. She stopped in exasperation and pressed her palms to the surface, looking intently at Lillie. “If you don’t want to support Aether Foundation now, why should I leave any of it to you in the future? You’re deciding that you’re not a part of this family.”

Lillie was silent at that. So, this is how it would be. She felt like the twangs of her heart reverberated through her feet and throughout the whole room.

“You know what, Mother?” she asked, staring her straight in the eyes; the same green eyes she had inherited. “The last thing I need from you is for you to drop this Brand Ambassador thing and never talk about me to the news again. You’re done after that.”

“Done with what, you vicious girl?”

“Done with being my mother! I mean it! Nothing you can say—nothing you can threaten me—will make me change my mind about this.”

“Fine, Lillie. I honestly don’t have any more energy to spend on this. You’re throwing away your family,” said Lusamine as she found something on her desk and put it into her dress pocket.

“No, Mother,” said Lillie, and she was surprised she wasn’t crying anymore. Her whole body felt numb. “ **You** threw your family away. And you’re doing coke again—you probably never stopped, even after that time you had to go to the hospital.”

Lusamine’s eyes narrowed, and she was embarrassed and furious.

“How dare you—“

“No, how dare  **you** ,” said Lillie emphatically, and she turned her back to her mother. “Good-bye, Mother. Enjoy the rest of your empty life.”

Lusamine was silent as Lillie opened up her office door and made her way out. Burnet stood by Wicke’s desk, the two women looking solemn.

“Miss Lillie—” began Wicke, seeing the mascara stains trailing Lillie’s cheeks. She and Burnet had heard most of the argument, when Lillie and her mother were shouting.

“If you need to talk—” Burnet started, but Lillie interrupted her.

“It was really nice to see you two,” said Lillie, as delicately and perfectly as she ever spoke.

She wiped her right eye, smudging her makeup more than it had been.

“Oh, Miss Lillie,” said Wicke without further comment.

“It was really nice to see you, too, Lillie,” said Burnet, clutching her closed laptop to her chest. She still wanted to intervene and help this poor girl somehow, but she felt powerless in her position with Lusamine as her boss.

Lillie sniffled.

“Please, take care of yourselves,” Lillie said before setting off to the bathroom to clean herself up.

“Take care, Miss,” said Wicke quietly to her retreating form.

“Kukui and I are always available if you need anything, Lillie—I mean that!” Burnet called after her.

Lillie wiped away more tears.

She had won against her mother, but it didn’t feel like it. She supposed loss was too big a part of her life to ever feel like she was winning.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

“There she is!”

“Lillie, over here!”

Face plain and washed of all her makeup, Lillie was terribly embarrassed to hear her name called as she headed back down the main hallway of Aether Paradise. She wanted to find Gladion and go home.

Two newscasters touting a camera and all their equipment ran up to her and invaded her personal space, the woman shoving a microphone into her face.

“Lillie, what can we expect from your collaboration with Aether Foundation?” asked the newswoman.

“What do you have to say about the research that goes on here?” asked the man with the camera, practically talking over his coworker.

For a moment Lillie felt overwhelmed, but she looked up and saw Gladion staring at her from the exit. He nodded to her, and she knew what she had to do.

“There won’t be any collaboration between Aether Foundation and I. That announcement was premature and I apologize for any confusion it may have caused,” said Lillie, as matter-of-factly as she could. “What I want everyone to know is that I’ll be competing in a Master Rank Beauty Contest on Saturday, and I’ll be doing my best to win. Please focus your attention on that.”

“We know that your mother, Lusamine Aether, is the president of Aether Foundation. Are you sure you will never be involved with them in the future? Some fans were looking forward to what could come from this partnership,” said the newswoman, refusing to let it go.

Lillie bit her lip. They were forcing her to speak her mind, and after what happened in her mother’s office her real feelings spilled out.

“What I would say to them is that if they are interested in what Aether Foundation says they do to care for Pokemon, they should look elsewhere. The Foundation is not what it seems, and I can confirm at least in the past that they have experimented on Pokemon. I’ll link some charities that I really like on my social media later on for those who want to be involved in truly helping Pokemon all over the world.”

“But, Lillie—“

“Lillie—“

“I’m sorry, I have to be going now. Please cheer for me and Snowy on Saturday. Thank you to my fans for all of the support,” she said, ducking underneath the arm of the cameraman and running to the exit where Gladion was waiting for her.

They turned their backs on the bewildered newscasters and started across the expanse of the entryway courtyard.

“How did the news know I was going to be here?” Lillie wondered as Gladion wrapped an arm around her waist and led her to the plane.

“I may have given them a heads up,” said Gladion, winking at her. “Just so you could publicly tell Mother to fuck off on our way out. I didn’t expect you to say all that stuff about Aether Foundation testing on Pokemon, though. That was awesome.”

Lillie considered this for a moment, surprised.

“You know, it felt really good,” she said, and she smiled at him as he squeezed her.

They made their goodbyes to Hobbes and boarded the plane, settling down into the fancy seats of the private jet with relief. Lillie put her face in her hands and took a few deep breaths. Her brother put a hand on her back to comfort her as she tried to recover.

“So, how did it go? When you spoke to Mother,” Gladion asked her after they had taken off.

“Terrible. I mean, she agreed to drop it, but at the expense of my inheritance,” said Lillie, swearing to herself that she would never cry over her mother again.

“Seriously? She went that far?”

“Yes. I told her she was done being my mother and her reply was that she won’t leave any of this to me.”

“Fuck,” Gladion muttered in disbelief. He should’ve been there with her. “Well, after what I did I’m probably not far behind you.”

Lillie just now noticed the red gashes on his knuckles.

“Gladion, what happened to your hand!?” 

“I punched Faba in the face,” said Gladion casually.

Lillie’s mouth fell open and she got up from her seat and climbed into his lap, taking his damaged hand gently into hers.

“Are you okay!?”

“Yeah,” Gladion reassured her. “He’s not okay, though. I think I broke his nose.”

“What happened?”

“He accosted me while I was grabbing the research. We had a battle, and he was pissed he lost, so he threatened you and Silvally. Then I hit him.”

“Did you really have to get violent?” asked Lillie, looking over his wounds with a worried expression.

Gladion shrugged.

“I didn’t really think about it, it just happened.”

“Oh, Gladion,” Lillie sighed, but she remembered the trauma she had experienced as a little girl that she sometimes still had nightmares about. Faba had been behind all of it. “He deserved it.”

“He did.”

“Let me see if I can find a first aid kit on board.”

She got up and looked through the cabinets to find some antiseptic and bandages. Luckily, the Aether Foundation jet was stocked with all the essentials.

“I don’t need all that, Lillie,” said Gladion, watching her gather the medical supplies.

“Shhh, let me take care of you,” she said insistently, and sat down beside him to clean his knuckles.

“Thanks,” he murmured, his chest warm with the tenderness she showed him.

Lillie carefully wrapped the bandage around his hand.

“I can’t wait to go home,” she said with a sigh, fastening the bandage.

Gladion studied her face, remembering where they had left off in Hearthome city. They had to put their feelings on hold for the events of the day, but both of them were unraveling now as twilight filled the sky outside the plane. His heart was filled with so much love he thought he might pass out, but at least it would be while he was looking at her face.

“Me too,” he said simply, examining his hand. He reached out and held hers.

Lillie smiled, leaning her head against his shoulder and closing her eyes. She still felt shaken up from her conversation with her mother, but if she had Gladion with her, she would be alright.

“You know, Mother’s always been so hard on me about how I look and act. Even today she felt like she could comment on my appearance. She never was like that with you, though. I wonder why,” Lillie thought aloud, slinking her arm through Gladion’s and hugging him close.

“She’s jealous of you,” said Gladion with complete certainty. “You’re more beautiful than she is, and a better person. She can’t stand it.”

Lillie considered the weight of this statement, blushing at hearing him call her beautiful. She squeezed his arm.

“Maybe,” she murmured, watching the clouds drift by the window as they flew away from Alola.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

It was nighttime when they finally got back to Hearthome city, jetlagged and emotionally exhausted. Lillie sighed and leaned against her front door after she closed and locked it; Gladion hastily took off his boots as soon as he could.

Lillie’s heart pounded in her chest as she realized they were finally safe at home. She kicked off her sneakers, but there was only one thing on her mind.

“Gladion… we’re all alone now,” Lillie whispered, her cheeks turning pink in the darkened kitchen.

Gladion swallowed. He had been waiting for this moment all day, especially on the plane returning home; but now that they were here in it, his chest felt tight and his stomach full of nerves.

“Lillie…” he reached out and took both of her hands in his, thumbs stroking small circles on her palms. “Do you really want this? You understand we can never go back if we do this, right?”

She shivered, and lifted her eyes to his from where they had been nervously staring at the floor.

“From the bottom of my heart, Gladion… I just want to be as close as I can be to you,” Lillie said quietly.

Gladion let go of his sister’s hands and stepped closer to her, holding either side of her face and looking intently at her. He pressed his forehead to hers.

“I want to be close to you, too,” he admitted. “I’m sorry it’s been difficult for me to say how I feel. I’m just… so scared.”

Lillie’s heart warmed that Gladion was opening up to her. She wrapped her arms around his waist and stood there with her forehead resting so tenderly against his.

“Scared of what?” she asked.

“I don’t know how to say it,” he mumbled, stroking the sides of her face. “Scared that everything will go wrong somehow, and you’ll be unhappy with me, or… regret it. And, aside from all that, I’m scared of… well, you know I keep mostly to myself and… I’m scared to feel the way about you that I do. You’re so important to me, Lillie…”

Pools of tears gathered at the corners of her eyes. He was being so vulnerable with her, saying the things she could only dream to hear. 

“You don’t have to say any more… I know how hard it is for you,” Lillie whispered to him, and made the slightest movement of her head for their lips to meet. She kissed him sweetly, butterflies fluttering in both of their stomachs. “After today, I can be brave and say it. I love you.”

His breath caught at her words and the world seemed to freeze around them.

“You can’t mean that,” he said, his voice aching with the pain he was feeling in his heart. He was desperate to be loved, but convinced it was too good to be true.

“I do. I love you, Gladion,” Lillie said, a tear rolling down her cheek.

Gladion kissed it away. It felt like his heart filled his whole chest.

“I love you too, Lillie.”

They kissed messily in their desperation for each other. Soft ticking from the kitchen clock could be heard in the background of the passionate silence. 

“Please, will you take me to the bedroom?” she asked him in a small voice for what she wanted, her confidence wavering.

“If that’s what you want.”

He picked her up and carried her like she was his bride, kissing her the whole way to her room, and laid her down gently on the bed with her head upon the pillows.

“Take me right away,” Lillie begged, her cheeks pink. She was embarrassed that she wanted him so badly, but she felt she couldn’t wait another second to have him inside of her. “Make love to me.”

It was tempting, but he had more desires for her than just that. He chuckled at her eagerness and kissed her forehead.

“Not yet, Princess,” he whispered, and his hands went to the waistband of her leggings and pulled them down. “I want to taste you first.”

Lillie’s hands went to the hem of her sweatshirt, but Gladion beat her to it, pulling it up over her head along with the shirt that had been layered under it, leaving her in a black lace bra and underwear. He pulled off her panties while she carefully unhooked her bra and disposed of it on the floor, and she was completely bare in front of him for the first time. He was glad his vision had adjusted to the dark so that he could see her pretty little breasts.

“You’re beautiful,” he said, in awe of her loveliness. “I think you’re really an angel.”

“I’m not. I’m just me,” Lillie said, cheeks flushed.

“I see an angel,” he whispered to her, reaching out to cup her chest in his hands, and she couldn’t stop her head tilting back in ecstasy as she felt his touch on her bare tender skin.

They kissed again and again, not able to get enough of each other. He brought his lips down to her chest and kissed her breasts and licked her nipples.

“Gladion! Please don’t tease me,” Lillie breathed, squirming in his arms. “Don’t make me wait too long.”

“So impatient, little sister,” Gladion teased her, his lips trailing down her stomach and between her legs. He kissed her there.

Lillie gasped, and Gladion slid his hands beneath her and held her ass, pushing her up against his mouth. He tasted her like he wanted, tongue sliding inside of her before he focused his attention on her clit. He circled it and sucked on it, enjoying the sound of her moans.

She whimpered his name again as he massaged her clit with his tongue. Her face was completely flushed with pleasure and Gladion couldn’t believe he was getting to see this: his Lillie, naked and shivering at what he was doing to her. How many times had he seen this in his fantasies?

Lillie entwined her fingers in Gladion’s messy hair, arching into his mouth. He could tell she was getting close to orgasm, so he made small circles around her clit with the tip of his tongue until she cried out his name, shaking.

“Oh, Lillie,” said Gladion, watching her catch her breath. “You taste so sweet.”

Lillie felt dizzy from orgasm, but she still needed him. She needed him even more now that he had gotten her worked up and ready, and so embarrassingly wet.

“Gladion… please,” she begged, reaching out to hold his hand. He kissed her fingers, and then bowed his head to kiss her thighs.

“Hearing you say my name like that is heavenly. It’s killing me,” he said weakly.

“I want to feel you… please,” Lillie whined.

“Anything for you, my princess,” Gladion said, taking off his shirt. He was still nervous, but none of his fears were going to keep him back from having her now in this moment.

Gladion fumbled with his belt and kicked off his jeans. He was harder than he had ever been, and Lillie blushed as she watched his boxers come off. How was he so much bigger than the few guys she had been with?

Gladion climbed on top of her, looking deep into her eyes as he settled between her legs. They stared into each other’s eyes until they got lost in a kiss, and as she sighed into his mouth he slipped inside of her. He sucked in a harsh breath as he felt her wrap around him. She was so wet and soft, so tight and warm. It was going to be a struggle for him not to come too quickly.

“You really are an angel,” he said gruffly, moaning as he pumped in and out of her. “Fuck. You’re perfect.”

Lillie wrapped her legs around Gladion’s waist and pulled him closer to her. They kissed each other again, this time with their eyes open. He didn’t want to look away from her pretty face, taken as he was with her expressions of pleasure.

“You’re everything to me,” he said against her ear, making her shiver. “I’d do anything for you.”

He continued to thrust steadily while she gasped and clung to him. She was in absolute ecstasy as he hit the spot she needed him to inside of her, again and again.

“Gladion,” she whined his name. “You feel so good.”

“You’re perfect,” he said again.

Her head went back as she came, and he sighed contentedly as he felt her come all over his cock. She rocked her hips against his, moaning loudly. He lifted her legs over his shoulders and she bit back a scream as she felt him go deeper. 

They were so close, and Lillie was certain she had never been closer to anyone. Everything was overwhelming bliss, sending her mind into a kind of daze. Her feelings for him finally made sense. This was how she loved him. Moving her body in perfect rhythm against his, she was certain of it. They belonged together.

“Where do you want me to come?” he asked in her ear as he felt her tighten around him. It was quicker than he wanted, but he simply couldn’t hold on much longer.

“You can come inside of me,” she moaned, arching her back against him and clawing at his shoulders. “I’m on the pill.”

“Alright. I’m going to fill you up,” he struggled to tell her, lost in bliss. 

Gladion thrust harder, and Lillie cried out in pleasure. Her fingernails dug into his shoulders as he came inside her. Shaking, he pulled out of her and collapsed on her chest. 

She immediately wrapped her arms around him and held him like a baby.

“I’m sorry, Lillie,” he said against her skin, panting.

“Don’t be,” she answered, stroking his hair. “Please, don’t be. I love you.”

“I’ve loved you for so long,” he said, guilty.

“I know,” said Lillie, trying to absolve him of any guilt or pain. “Ever since I read your poem, I knew.”

“I shouldn’t have told you those things,” he mumbled, trying to recover from orgasm. “But something in me needed you to know…”

“I’m glad you told me,” Lillie said, certain of herself. “Sometimes, that poem was the only thing keeping me going. When I felt so alone, like no one in the whole entire world cared about me other than Snowy… I would pretend you still loved me like that.”

“I did. I never stopped. But you didn’t know that, because I left you—huh, Princess? I don’t deserve you,” he said into her chest, kissing her shoulder somberly as though she were a goddess and he was begging for divine forgiveness.

“You’re wrong,” Lillie said, shaking her head. “That love meant everything to me, whether I knew how real it was or not. It was all I had.”

He wanted it to be true. He pulled himself up onto the pillow and took her into his arms. His fingertips glided down her back; over her shoulders; up and down her arms while she cuddled against him.

“I still have the poem,” she said, trying to get him to smile. “It’s in a box of keepsakes beneath my bed.”

“Do you?” he asked, cradling her head to his chest. He did smile.

“Of course.”

“I don’t know where we go from here,” he admitted. He never had envisioned this day would come; never dared to hope he would get so far as to make love to her.

“We’ll just have to be secretly in love with each other,” Lillie said, as though it were natural and obvious.

“It can’t be that easy.”

“Maybe it is.”

“You’re optimistic, little angel,” he breathed, laughing.

She made him so happy.

“One of us has to be,” Lillie said confidently to him.

Gladion kissed the top of her head.

“Time for us to sleep now,” he said, stroking her arm as he held her.

“I know, I’m so tired. Goodnight, Gladion. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Lillie fell asleep immediately, feeling so safe and warm in Gladion’s arms; and she was exhausted from orgasm and the intense emotional day she had. For Gladion it wasn’t so easy. He listened to Lillie’s even breathing on his chest, but instead of getting more relaxed he found himself panicked and nervous.

Everything was fine, right?

Everything was fine.

He wanted to believe it was fine, but the darkness that lurked in his mind took him over.

How could they be together?

They couldn’t be together and be happy. It was impossible. They wouldn’t be able to get married, or have children like a proper couple. Lillie wouldn’t be happy living like that. She deserved so much more than being his secret lady in the shadows. 

This was wrong. He shouldn’t be happy to be with her when the lives they would lead together would only be miserable and unnatural. He was a fool for thinking they could be in a relationship like normal people.

At four AM after lying awake all night with his torturous thoughts, Gladion climbed out of bed, carefully disentangling himself from Lillie without waking her. He got dressed and grabbed all his things and left the apartment, stepping out into the cold morning.


	6. one man drinking games

The nightmare Lillie had that night was the same one she always used to have in her youth. She hadn’t experienced it at all in her recent memory, but after visiting Aether Paradise the nightmare was back, and this time it was exceptionally vivid.

_ She’s in her old bedroom at the manor. She sees Snowy coming toward her and wants to reach for her, but she remembers she can’t touch Pokémon and holds out a hand to halt Snowy from coming close. So, Snowy cries at her feet, breaking Lillie’s heart. Then, it gets really dark, and she can’t see or hear Snowy anymore. She can’t see or hear anything. All around her is unending blackness. In the distance, an Ultra Wormhole opens. Lots of strange Pokémon come out of it, rampaging towards her: they’re ultra beasts, their fearsome jaws snapping and odd appendages waving menacingly. Lillie runs; suddenly, she’s on a beach. The ocean is full of stars and the sky is full of aquatic Pokémon, swimming and diving through the clouds. She’s fast, but the ultra beasts are faster. Somehow, Snowy’s running beside her, but she’s deeply wounded and bleeding. The ultra beasts had almost killed her. Lillie wants to cry, but she can only run. The sand grows thicker and thicker, slowing her down. It’s difficult to lift her legs. She falls, and she knows she’s going to die. _

Lillie awoke with a start. She breathed heavily, shaking.

‘It’s just that dream again. It’s just a dream.’

She took a moment to come back to herself, panting in the darkness of her room. It wasn’t real. She was home, her ceiling fan spinning mundanely above her head. Snowy was safe in her pokeball. Everything was fine.

“Oh, Gladion, I had the worst nightmare,” said Lillie, but as she turned she realized Gladion wasn’t beside her.

A horrible feeling hit her in her gut, like she already knew.

“Gladion?” she called, praying that he was just in the bathroom.

Silence.

Lillie climbed out of bed and grabbed the flannel she had worn yesterday morning off the floor. She wasn’t usually a messy person, but the emergency trip to Alola had left her little time to do things as she normally would. She threw the flannel over her naked body and practically ran out of the room toward the bathroom door, knocking frantically.

“Gladion?”

No answer. 

She opened the door to blackness, and the image was so like her dream it startled her and she jumped back.

In her heart she knew the truth of what was going on, and she thought she was going to be sick over it.

Lillie paced into the living room. It was dark here, too, so she turned on the light, hoping to see him sleeping on the couch. He wasn’t there.

Gladion was gone.

She didn’t cry. She stood there frozen for a couple moments, then went to make tea as she did every morning, like everything was normal and well. Tapping her fingers on the counter, Lillie stared into the kettle as she waited for the water to boil.

Gladion had left her again, and it was like she was falling and falling into an endless pit of despair and would never hit bottom.

Lillie made herself a cup of tea and curled up on the couch. She turned on the TV, but didn’t register what was on screen. She felt far away from her body, like none of what she was seeing or feeling was real. The warmth of the teacup in her hands, the dull colors of the television screen, all nothing but mirages of existence.

“...Why?” she asked finally, to the empty room.

Snowy came out of her pokeball on her own and mewled. The Pokémon sensed Lillie’s sadness and started over to her.

“Why did Gladion leave, Snowy?” Lillie asked in a small broken voice.

Snowy sat at Lillie’s feet and cried in concern, nuzzling against her, offering comfort. Lillie’s hand shook as she reached out to pet the Pokémon’s head.

“Why does everyone leave me?”

Sobs wracked her small form after that, causing her to shake and shiver. She laid down on the couch and hugged her knees close to her chest, crying.

“Why?” she asked pitifully.

Snowy nuzzled her arm, but Lillie couldn’t feel it, not really. Numbness took over as she lost herself in a violent spell of tears.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

The air around Gladion felt static. He was shaken by panic and feeling nauseous. The noise of the street and the traffic was sickening, mingling with his panic to create a frenzy in his mind that he couldn’t escape from. His head had started to hurt. He needed to breathe; needed fresh air.

A man in a suit nearly trampled him as he stumbled down the sidewalk.

“Hey, watch it, kid!” barked the businessman.

“S-Sorry—hey! Where’s the park?” asked Gladion, too dizzy from the emotional pain he was in to find his way around the city.

“Fucken tourists. Find it yourself,” grunted the man as he turned and sped away, his loafers clicking on the sidewalk.

“Asshole,” muttered Gladion.

Somehow, he wandered in the right direction and ended up at the black wiry gates of Amity Square. Memories of walking there with Lillie a couple of days ago filled him like sweet poison, but he followed the gate to the park entrance and wandered in. 

Gladion told himself to breathe, but even in the park there wasn’t enough air. He found a bench and sat down, trying to just look at the trees, the grass. A trainer ran by with her Happiny, doing some morning exercise.

What the fuck was he doing? Gladion ached to be back in bed with Lillie, remembering all her warmth and softness he had left. His skin was cold now.

‘You shouldn’t be in bed with her. That’s fucked up! You’re fucked up!’

He tried to take deep breaths, shuddering.

His phone started ringing; it was Lillie. He watched the screen flicker, letting it ring. Should he answer her? What was there to say?

Lillie called three times in a row, Gladion feeling like daggers were piercing his heart each time, and then she texted him.

_ Where are you? Come home _ , she wrote. The phone buzzed again and again in his hand.

_ Gladion _

_ Please _

It felt like his chest was on fire, and he was nauseous. 

_ I can’t. We can’t be together _ , he typed.

_ Why? _ —was all Lillie responded immediately and desperately. She continued to send him texts in rapid succession.

_ Just come home _

_ We can talk about this _

_ I can’t stop crying and I need you _

Darkness pressed against Gladion’s mind from all sides, and he felt like he couldn’t breathe again, the panic bubbling up. He wanted to go to her, to protect her; but that’s what he was doing by staying away. The thought of Lillie hurting because of him felt rotten in his gut.

There were more reasons they shouldn’t be together than they should be. Why didn’t she understand what he understood? They could never be what they both wanted them to be. That was all a fantasy; a beautiful fragile dream. Gladion grew dizzy and his hands shook as he struggled to text his reply.

_ Don’t do this, Lillie. It’s better this way. It’s not right for us to be together,  _ he wrote.

Lillie answered him, uncaring of his excuses.

_ I don’t care about any of that, I just want you to come back _

_ Please _

_ My heart is broken _

Gladion had to choke back tears as he read that.

_ Mine is too. But this is how it has to be. I’m sorry we’re cursed. Goodbye, Lillie. I’ll always love you. _

He started crying then, fuck.

‘Pathetic. Weak trash.’

His heart pounded, and he wiped away his eyes with the back of his arm, teardrops dripping down the sleeve of his leather jacket.

‘You broke her heart, you fucking piece of shit. You never deserved her. How the fuck were you thinking that you could have her? What have you done?’

In the midst of berating himself Gladion realized he needed to talk to someone, and soon, as he was practically crawling out of his skin. The therapist he had in college would always tell him to talk to someone when his emotions got out of control. But who could he talk to about this? He had never told anyone about his feelings for Lillie; it was his deepest secret, that only Lillie ever knew. How could anyone else ever understand?

There was one person in his life he felt like he could talk to, the only one he could trust. And this person didn’t answer his phone when Gladion called.

_ Hey Ash. Call me when you can _ , was the text message Gladion left.

Fuck. He needed someone to talk to  **now** .

There was another joint in Gladion’s jacket pocket and he took it out and lit it. His phone was ringing again, but he just let it go off. The device trilled with more notifications of text messages after that, too, but he was too sick to look at it. Gladion told himself that Lillie would give up soon and realize she was much better off without him.

The weed helped a little, mostly with his panic, but he still felt depressed. He sat in the park for a while longer after finishing smoking, and then he decided to find a room where he could lay down in the dark.

A quick search on his phone located nearby lodgings, but he found the Grand Hearthome Hotel that was recommended to him to be too fashionable for his taste, so he asked the doorman for directions to the closest motel.

He had the money for a nicer place, of course, but he was partial to cheap motels, and the one he arrived at was just as run-down and shoddy as any he had ever stayed in. Booking the room was a blur. Nostalgia whispered in his ear as he made his way down the moldy hallway of the motel building.

Gladion didn’t know if he should be sad that the quiet, empty motel room made him feel safe, but as he used the card key to open the door, he felt his nerves settle a bit. His old motel room back in Alola had always felt more like home to him than the manor, and he shuddered with deja vu as he leaned his backpack against the wall and kicked off his boots. His whole body felt heavy, and he waddled to the bed and collapsed on it, staring up at the ceiling.

It bothered him how sentimental he felt in his surroundings. Memories flooded him and buoyed the despair he felt over losing Lillie, so he floundered, clinging to it, fighting not to drown in his feelings. He remembered the days and nights he’d spend, depressed, laying in that shabby motel bed ruminating on his forbidden feelings for his sister and the fact that he could never have her.

He’d get caught up in reverie, wondering why his mother didn’t love him. Lillie always held onto hope in her purity and naivety, but Gladion knew his mother had never wanted children. She had said as much to him, once, during a fight about money when she let it slip that it ‘wasn’t her fault her husband had wanted children when she didn’t.’ That fight had put a lot of his mother’s behavior into perspective for him.

He’d wonder what things would be like if his father was still around. He’d wonder where his father was; if that hazy, messy-haired man from his early childhood memories was dead by now. Gladion had given up looking and resigned himself to the fact that his father was gone forever. Did his father’s spirit somehow know about his feelings for Lillie? What would that man think of him for that? He’d probably hate him just as much as his mother did.

The phone went off again, the ringing cutting the precious silence. Ignore it. Don’t look at it. Don’t think about it.

In Gladion’s fantasies, Lillie would knock on the door to his motel room back in Alola, and he’d let her in to talk. Maybe she had finally realized that their mother had no love for them and needed comfort over it. They’d lay down in his bed and he’d just hold her for a while, talking through her sadness, and later he’d confess all of his fucked up feelings that tortured him, and she would let him touch her. Those were his teenage daydreams, and now they were all coming back to him. He was still that broken boy, unloved and alone in a harsh world.

There was one mission that guided him in his worst times: protect Lillie. He was sure he had to be doing the right thing to stay away from her, but it just felt wrong. Could he go back to her? No, not after this. Going back is what would be wrong, anyway. Even if Lillie thought she wanted him, too, he was the big brother. He had to keep them apart because it was better for them. Being responsible means making the tough decisions, and no matter what he would protect his little sister, even from himself.

Gladion thought about releasing his Pokémon for company and comfort, but he didn’t. He got under the bed covers and breathed in the stale smell of the sheets, and that dingy scent was comforting enough. Maybe he could just do this forever. Travel and use money from Pokémon battles to afford motels to sleep in. He didn’t need a home. He didn’t need Lillie. He could just exist, and drift along like the lost soul he always knew he was.

Sleep deprived, his eyes ached and stung, so he shut them, pulling the covers up over his head. Dark. Numb. Good. Forget about Lillie. Forget about all of it.

At some point, Gladion fell asleep; his phone never stopped ringing.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

_ Goodbye, Lillie. I’ll always love you. _

That was the last thing Gladion had said to Lillie before he stopped answering her texts. That didn’t stop her from sending them, though. She called, and called, left him voicemails pouring out her heart to him. Was he even listening?

Lillie paced around the house, ringing Gladion’s phone off the hook. She paused in the bathroom and looked at her reflection. The girl that stared back at her was a mess, eyes red and cheeks puffy from crying, her hair all tousled. Her mother’s words about her ‘terrible clown hair’ echoed in her ears. She bit back another sob and dialed Sadie, begging her and Trish to come over, her voice cracking on the phone line. They would be there in an hour, thankfully.

Lillie sniffled, lamenting the girl in the mirror. She made herself get into the shower; brushed her teeth without tasting the toothpaste. Forced herself into pajamas that actually covered herself up. She was sitting on the floor of her kitchen brushing Snowy in between ringing Gladion’s phone when Trish and Sadie buzzed her apartment building doorbell.

“Hey, we brought your favourite tea from the Pokémon Center,” said Sadie as Lillie opened up the door for her friends.

“Tomorrow’s the big day, rockstar girl,” said Trish, following Sadie into the apartment. 

Lillie’s face fell.

“Oh, right… that’s tomorrow…” Lillie whined, rubbing her face, and Snowy whimpered at that, realizing that Lillie had forgotten.

“What do you mean? It’s your big day!” said Sadie, holding out Lillie’s tea for her.

“We’ve been working toward this for months,” said Trish. “You were so excited about the dresses the other night.”

“Yes, well, a lot has happened… since then,” said Lillie, taking the tea from Sadie and sitting down on the couch. “Which is, um, why I called you guys.”

“Yeah?” asked Sadie, sitting down beside Lillie. “What happened? ...Where’s Gladion?”

“H-He, um… well, t-that’s kind of what happened… and a lot of other stuff, including my mother…”

“Your mother?” asked Trish, sitting on the poofy armchair across from Lillie. “I thought you didn’t talk to her?”

“I-I didn’t… and I probably never will again, now, but, uh… Gladion and I went to Alola yesterday—“

“You were in Alola?” asked Trish, incredulous. “Lillie, what the fuck? You have a contest tomorrow! You should be practicing! Or resting, at least.”

“I know, Trish, I know; it was an emergency.”

“Tell us everything,” said Sadie.

It was embarrassing for Lillie to talk about Lusamine, but she did her best recounting a quick summary of the evil things her mother had done in her childhood and how Lusamine had tried to force Lillie into partnering with Aether Paradise as their Brand Ambassador. It was particularly difficult for Lillie to tell her friends that standing up to her mother had gotten her disowned, so she paused to breathe as much as she needed, the weight of her mother’s cruelty heavy and sharp on her heart.

“...Wow,” said Trish, after a moment of digesting Lillie’s story. “What a crazy fucking bitch.”

“I’m sorry, Lillie,” said Sadie, rubbing Lillie’s arm. “At least Gladion was there with you.”

“Y-Yes, well… now he’s gone and—“ Lillie started crying again, “—and I’ve been calling and texting him all day and he’s not answering now…”

This reaction was concerning, and Trish shifted uncomfortably on the armchair, her mind traveling to the worst possible scenario she could dream up and hoping it wasn’t true.

“Oh, fuck,” Trish sighed, remembering the intense and awkward vibe between Gladion and Lillie at her party. “Lillie, please tell me you guys didn’t do what I think you did.”

“W-We, um… we, um…” Lillie stuttered, tears rolling down her cheeks. Snowy cried then, too, pouting.

“It’s okay, Lillie, it’s okay. Please, tell us,” said Sadie seriously. “Tell us… what’s really going on with you and Gladion.”

It was harder to voice her real feelings for Gladion than Lillie ever could have imagined, but she did her best to relate the true nature of her relationship with her brother. Lillie told them about the poem he had left her all those years ago, using the backstory of her mother and Aether Paradise to explain how lonely and unloved she felt, and why that poem meant so much to her. Shame hung around her as she struggled to tell her friends that she and Gladion had kissed the night of the party, and then that they had made love when they got back from Alola.

“...A-And then when I woke up this morning, he was gone. He responded to my texts at first, and… um… he said he loves me, but we can’t be together and, um… he told me goodbye.”

Trish and Sadie were silent after that; more stunned and speechless than after Lillie had told them about her wicked mother.

“I know you guys are judging me,” said Lillie, having a difficult time looking at them. “But no matter what you could say to me, I love him and I want to be with him. I just want him to come back.”

“Oh, Lillie,” said Sadie, her heart breaking over the tragic love story.

Trish was less moved, feeling like she was the only one able to keep her head on straight.

“Why… why do you think it would be better for him to come back? I mean… you can’t really be in a relationship with your brother, can you?” asked Trish honestly, wishing and hoping her words would truly make Lillie think.

Sadie’s mouth fell open, but Lillie just stared at Trish with her green doe eyes glimmering. Lillie thought about what Trish said, but ultimately she swallowed and shook her head.

“Whatever is wrong with us… that’s just how we are. I can’t not feel the way I feel about him. I just can’t.”

“But how would you be together?” asked Trish, persisting.

“Don’t push her,” said Sadie, but Trish shushed her girlfriend.

“No, Sadie, I want Lillie to explain this.”

“I just know we could make it work somehow,” sighed Lillie, her voice cracking. “I just need him to come home to me so that we can talk about this.”

“You know that sounds crazy, right?” Trish breathed.

“Trish!” shouted Sadie in reproach.

“I’m telling you it  **is** crazy,” said Lillie, starting to lose her composure again. “I know it is. But I can’t change it. In my heart I’m always going to be in love with him.”

Trish heaved a heavy sigh.

“I get it, Lillie,” said Sadie reassuringly.

“Don’t encourage her, Sadie; she needs to think harder about this instead of just focusing on how she feels at this moment.”

Lillie lifted her legs onto the couch and buried her face in her knees, hugging herself.

“You’re all shaken up because you haven’t seen him in years, yes; but this will pass, Lillie. You have so much else to focus on and live for. Think about your contest tomorrow,” Trish said while Sadie put her hand gently on Lillie’s shoulder.

“I don’t care about the contest,” Lillie murmured into her knees like a child.

“You don’t mean that, Lillie,” sighed Trish.

“I do mean it. I don’t care. I don’t care about anything anymore,” Lillie whimpered, feeling tears well up in her eyes again. 

“Over a guy!?” Trish asked emphatically, sitting up in the armchair. “You’re going to give up your whole career?”

“H-He’s not just a guy, Trish! He’s my precious brother; he’s everything to me,” Lillie replied, tears streaming down her face.

“What about Snowy? You’re just going to give up on her?”

Unable to stop crying, Lillie looked over at Snowy and felt immense guilt weighing on her already broken heart.

“I-I’ll do my best tomorrow, f-for Snowy… but after that I’m taking a break from contests for a while.”

“That’s understandable,” said Sadie reassuringly.

“To do what, sit home and cry?” asked Trish at the same time.

“I-I don’t know! Figure myself out, I guess, because I-I’m f-fucked up,” Lillie stuttered, feeling like the situation warranted a rare swear. “I don’t want to live without Gladion.”

Sadie rubbed Lillie’s arm.

“You’re not fucked up, Lillie,” Sadie whispered. “What you’re experiencing right now is very human.”

“You’ve lived without him for ten years!” Trish said, exasperated. “Three days and now you’d rather die if you can’t see him again?”

“You’re not helping, Trish!” shouted Sadie, frustrated. “You don’t even care about her feelings!”

Lillie sobbed into her knees.

“I do care! Of course I care. I’m here for her,” said Trish defensively.

“Well you’re not acting like it!” cried Sadie. “Have some compassion.”

“We’re processing it differently, Sadie. Just because I don’t think she should be in a relationship with her brother doesn’t mean I don’t care about her feelings,” Trish explained.

Lillie continued to cry, wishing her friends would stop bickering but in too much pain to tell them.

“You just don’t understand,” said Sadie to Trish, still rubbing Lillie’s arm. “I get it, Lillie; you can talk to me.”

“No, I don’t get it, clearly. Fuck me, right? It’s only her fucking brother we’re talking about,” scoffed Trish.

“Stop fighting!” Lillie shouted, her voice wracked with sobs.

“Okay, okay; we’ll stop. I’m sorry, Lillie, I’m sorry,” said Sadie gently.

“...I’m going outside to smoke. I’m sorry, Lillie,” mumbled Trish, remorseful, and she made her way to the balcony and slipped out the sliding door.

Lillie lifted her head from her knees and pressed her palms to her eyes for a moment before trying to wipe away her tears.

“I-I don’t want this, Sadie… but it’s beyond my control. I know it’s crazy, but… I just love him,” Lillie struggled.

“I know, Lillie, honey; I know.”

“M-My mother… I don’t think she ever loved me. W-Without Gladion, I-I d-don’t have anyone…”

“That’s not true. You have us.”

“Why can no one love me, Sadie? Why am I not good e-enough?”

“Oh, Lillie. You are good enough,” said Sadie, biting her lip. “...And if you ask me, it sounds like Gladion does love you. Too much. And he’s scared.”

Lillie nodded feebly, wiping her eyes again. Her feet were back on the floor, and Snowy had ambled over and put her head in Lillie’s lap.

“T-That’s why I thought it could work… our love should be all that matters, but I don’t know where he is… I don’t know what to do…” Lillie trailed off saying, weakly running her fingers over Snowy’s head and rubbing behind the Pokémon’s ears.

“I don’t want to give you false hope, Lillie. I don’t know what’s going to happen. But maybe Gladion will come back. This all only just happened this morning. Give him some time to sort through how he’s feeling.”

Lillie nodded, trying to take deep breaths.

“I love him so much, Sadie. I’ve never been able to love anyone like I love him,” said Lillie, her breath evening out. “I put him out of my mind all those years; tried not to think about him. It’s like something was missing for so long and when I was with him again, I just felt… whole.”

“You two have a very special bond,” said Sadie knowingly. “I don’t think this is the end. But you have to be okay if it is.”

Lillie swallowed.

“I don’t know if I can be.”

“You can. You’re so much stronger than you think.”

“T-Thanks, Sadie,” said Lillie, sighing heavily. “Trish is probably right, but… still, thank you for not judging me.”

“Of course. I’m always here for you,” said Sadie, holding Lillie’s hand. “Trish is, too. She just doesn’t want to see you give up. I don’t either.”

“I-I’ll try, Sadie, I’ll really try.”

“I know you will,” Sadie said, and she pulled Lillie into a hug.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

When Gladion woke up it was pitch black, no sunlight coming in from the dull curtained window. It felt good to escape from life for however long he had been out, but his first instinct upon waking was to reach for Lillie, and he felt hollow knowing she was forever beyond his grasp.

He didn’t want to look at his phone, but he needed to know the time, so he crawled out of bed, disoriented from the long nap he had just had. Gladion took his phone out of his jacket pocket and was immediately hit with vertigo and nausea.

**_50 MISSED CALLS_ ** _ : LILLIE _

**_11 VOICEMAILS_ ** _ : LILLIE _

**_25 TEXT MESSAGES_ ** _ : LILLIE _

He read the texts, heart aching; she was in so much pain, begging for him to come back to her. Gladion felt sick reading them, and as he hit the back button he realized Ash had never replied to him. He had no clue how he would explain his predicament, but he knew he still needed to talk to someone, so he dialed Ash again; no answer.

His stomach growled, and though he didn’t think he would be able to eat, he decided to find a bar. If he was going to have to be conscious, he wanted to at least be drunk. Anything to not feel the pain that weighed down his heart. He tied up his boots and grabbed his coat, exiting the motel.

It was raining, and he pulled up his hood. He remembered carrying Lillie back to her apartment in the rain the night they had gotten drunk at the party; the first time they had kissed, and how sweet her lips were. He supposed these memories would haunt him forever.

Half expecting his phone to ring again any minute, Gladion kept checking it as he made his way through the city streets. Did he want Lillie to call again? Would he answer? No, he couldn’t. Where was Ash? It wasn’t like him to not respond. Maybe it was early in the morning in whatever region his friend was in.

‘Fucking timezones.’

The city was loud around him, and he ducked into the first dive he could find, glad for the dark atmosphere that welcomed him from the neon street. A Pokemon battle buzzed on the televisions hung up by the bar, and some guys were playing darts with pints of beer over in the corner. Gladion sat down and ordered a drink, telling the bartender to keep them coming. Drowning out his feelings felt like the only way he could cope.

How cruel it was to have been reunited with Lillie again, only for her to be taken away from him just as quickly. He truly was cursed.

The bartender brought him his order, and he took a swig of whiskey, idly tuning into the battle on the TV. Above all, he missed her. His Lillie. No, not his anymore. He took another sip of his drink, trying to focus on watching the battle. Every time he thought about Lillie, he took another sip.

It was going to be a long night.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Lying awake in bed that night, Lillie wondered where Gladion was. Had he left town? Maybe he was back on Mount Coronet, looking at the stars.

She rolled onto her side and saw the letter she had dug out of her box of keepsakes on her bedside table. She reached for it, unable to read it in the dark but that hardly mattering as she had it memorized. She just wanted to feel the paper in her hand, something tangible to hold as she imagined Gladion’s arms wrapped around her.

How could she perform tomorrow like this? Heartbroken and crushed. It was her most important contest to date, and it would be her hardest, damaged as her soul was from missing its other half.

Lillie felt the weight shift on the bed as Snowy crawled up beside her, snuggling against her. The warmth of Snowy’s fur felt good, and Lillie was grateful.

“We have to do our best tomorrow, Snowy,” said Lillie quietly, staring out at her balcony in the dark. “Everyone is counting on us for a great show.”

Snowy made sleepy noises of agreement.

‘Gladion. If only you could see it.’

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Gladion was painfully drunk and miserable as he stumbled out of the bar.

He should go back to his room, he knew it, but fuck doing what was good for him. He felt like he was being ripped apart and in his misery he relished it. It had been raining all afternoon and evening and only stopped recently, so puddles lined the sidewalk. He splashed through them in his boots, too drunk to pay attention to where they were.

He was hit with another memory of his skin against Lillie’s; the pleasure of finally being inside of her; the sound of her moans. And he remembered that he had left her after that. How could he?

‘It’s all a mess. It’s all ruined.’

In his drunkenness he decided that he wanted to walk through Amity Square again and relive his moments with Lillie in that park, and he navigated the streets as best he could to get there. Lillie’s apartment was only streets away in the other direction, he was sure, and he mentally berated himself harder for thinking of that.

‘You can’t go to her anymore,’ Gladion said to himself. ‘It’s over.’

Streetlights blurred as he waded across the concrete like crossing an alcohol ocean, all toxic and dark blue. Somehow, he found his way to the East entrance of Amity Square, but the huge iron gates were locked tight. He shook them.

“Fuck! I just want to walk around!”

He kicked at the gates, though he knew it was futile. Trees and parked cars around him seemed to be spinning.

He laid down on the grassy ground near the entrance to the gate, and the wetness and coldness of it on his back told him that he was lying in mud.

Fuck.

He never wanted to get up from here. He just wanted to lie here forever until he wasted away, which in his inebriated state he felt would be soon.

Suddenly, his phone rang.

He reached for it, making squelching noises in the mud as he contorted himself to be able to get at his phone. He didn’t know if he hoped it was Lillie. Maybe he would answer this time. The screen was bright and blaring in the night’s dark cover.

**_INCOMING CALL_ ** _ : ASH KETCHUM _

Finally.

“Hullo?”

“Hey, buddy, what’s up?” Ash greeted him, sounding chipper.

“I’m sorry to call yo—uuu like this, but s’bad,” said Gladion in complete despair. He let his head sink deeper into the mud as he laid on his back in the grass outside the park.

“Uh, Gladion? I can’t understand you. Are you drunk?”

“Yesss,” Gladion slurred, “I’d be lit right now but no, it’s me—it’s my life, so of course I’m miserable and I want to die. Told her I loved her and I don’t know, feelings. Hurts. It’s too much.”

“Shit, what happened?” asked Ash.

“I fucked it up with Lillie. Really bad. S’all ruined. My heart hurts. Can’t go on.”

“What are you talking about?” asked Ash again, sounding very confused. “Look, I wanna help, but I don’t understand what you’re trying to tell me. Where are you?”

“‘M in Sinnoh, in Hearthome city. Long story but I was actu—ally in Alola yesterday. Mother did some fucked up shit to Lillie and I had to help her. I ruined everything with Lillie, Ash—fuck,” Gladion rambled, on the verge of tears.

“I can’t really hear you but that sounds awesome! You’re saying that you’re staying with Lillie?”

“It was beautiful; she was sooo beautiful, the most perfect thing I ever felt—but I ruined it, all over.”

“What the fuck do you mean, dude?”

“I’m in love with Lillie,” Gladion finally said. There was nothing left but for him to admit the horrible situation he was in. “I’m in love with her and I can never be with her, and it’s fuh—king killing me. I feel like I’ve been ripped apart.”

Ash was silent for a few beats.

“Okay, just to be sure… we’re talking about your sister, right? Or not?”

Ash was hoping not, but his intuition was telling him he was right. Sometimes he hated how he was always right.

“Yes. My little sister,” said Gladion harshly. His brain felt like it was floating away in an alcohol ocean and there was no life preserver to save him from the wrathful waves. “I’m in love with my sister; I’ve always been. I never told anyone, but now it’s all caught up to me and I ruined it, of course I ruined it because that’s what I do. Fuh—king hate myself.”

“I… don’t really know what to say to that,” said Ash, maybe even a little timidly. “I… that’s…”

“Yeah, it’s fucked; and I figured, I’m so—rry to bother you,” Gladion’s words were all mashed together, and he pulled the phone away from his ear to hang up when he heard Ash yelling for him.

“Hey, Gladion, don’t hang up! I know you were about to. You’re not bothering me, I promise.”

Gladion put the phone back to his ear and took a deep breath.

“I don’t know what to do, Ash,” he said in a small and vulnerable voice. Tears rolled down his cheeks now, and he felt lost and alone in the worst way he ever had. “I thought I could live without her. I thought I knew I could never have her annnd I thought I was alright with that. I’m not. Need her. Ima—gine seeing her again after ten years. She’s so beauuutiful. I hate myself.”

In his hotel room in Hoenn, Ash paced back and forth on the phone. He was making a very serious face and Pikachu looked on from the hotel bed, concerned.

“Okay. Let’s think about this. Does Lillie know?”

“Yesss,” Gladion said, wanting to melt into the mud.

“Oh man, really? And what did she say?”

“She feels the same way. We lo—ve each other. I don’t know how she fucking loves me; I still can’t believe it.”

Ash paused.

“Then what’s wrong?”

“She’s still my sister is what’s wrong! How can I be with her?”

“Okay, yeah, that’s a problem but—“

“We had sex, okay?” Gladion whispered it, hoping Ash could hear as he dared not want to repeat it. “And then I freaked out—had a fuhken panic attack—and left.”

“What do you mean?”

“I snuck out when she was sleeping and took off to a motel because I couldn’t fucking handle it,” Gladion slurred. “Texted her and told her we can’t be together. She’s been crushed and cry—ing all day. Fuck, I’m such bullshit! I’m a piece of shit.”

“Damn, dude.”

“I told you it’s bad, Ash. How do I go on living?”

“Maybe you can still fix it,” said Ash with hopefulness in his voice.

“Nothing fixes this, don’t you get that? If I’m with her, it’s wrong. But being away from her, I’m dead inside.”

He felt hollow right now as he laid there looking up at the clouds and skyscrapers.

“Gladion… I don’t know how to say exactly what I want to say,” Ash started, thinking about his words. “But the world is a really wild place, and totally unbelievable things happen all the time. We’ve been to other worlds together. Maybe you being in love with Lillie isn’t the weirdest thing that could happen.”

“I’m cursed, you’re saying. I know,” said Gladion, his eyes stinging. Tears continued to bleed down his cheeks. “I’ve known ever since the fir—st time I looked at her the wrong way.”

“You might be cursed, I don’t know,” said Ash honestly. “But stranger things exist, is my point. I know it sounds totally unbelievable right now, but stranger things even than curses. And if something like this was going to have to happen to you… didn’t it turn out the best it could have with her feeling the same way about you?”

Gladion thought about this. His head hurt, and he was in for a horrible hangover, if he didn’t die right there in the dirt. He tried to make sense of Ash’s words.

“What are you saying?” he asked hoarsely.

“I’m saying… you guys have each other to get through this.”

“You didn’t listen, Ash,” said Gladion, in agony. “I can’t go back to her.”

“Why not? I’m sure she’ll forgive you for leaving.”

“After I’ve hurt her? I don’t deserve that,” Gladion said, squinting at the sky that was still spinning and the moonlight that was brighter than the city lights. Gladion felt he had become one with the mud he was lying in.

“Come on, man, now that’s just pitying yourself,” said Ash.

“You think I should go back to her?” asked Gladion weakly. “You think I can do that?”

“Well, you love her—you said you love her, right?”

“I—yes,” Gladion struggled, his free hand that didn’t hold his phone going to his face and covering his eyes. “I love her more than anything. She’s… she’s everything to me. I’d rather die than be without her.”

“Then think about what I’ve said. It’s something you’re meant to figure out with her and you can’t run away from it.”

“What if we can’t be happy together? W-What if that’s the curse, because it’s wrong for us to be together?” Gladion stammered.

“Well, I don’t know the answer to that, but no one does. That’s why I think you need to go back to Lillie and figure it out with her. You’re my friend, and I want you to be happy. Lillie too.”

It sounded too good to believe, but Gladion wanted to believe it more than anything. A sliver of hope stirred in his gut.

“T-Thanks, Ash… you’re too good of a friend to me,” said Gladion, wiping his eyes.

“Don’t get all romantic with me now, Gladion,” said Ash, laughing.

“I’m sorry, I’m emotional,” said Gladion, laughing too. Leave it to Ash to bring him back to himself when he was lost. “I’m so dru—nk I don’t know if I can stand. I think I’m lying in mud.”

“How far do you need to go to get home?”

“Only a few streets to the motel, I think,” he tried to remember, stringing his words all together. “I don’t think I can make it to Li—llie’s from there.”

“It has to be like past midnight over there, right? Go back to the motel and talk to her tomorrow.”

Gladion was struck with the realization that there was something very important about tomorrow, and it took him a moment of drunken mental searching to recall what it was.

“Dude, her contest is tomorrow,” said Gladion, the realization dawning on him with terrible power. “I have to fucking be there for that.”

“You should, and bring her flowers,” said Ash with confidence. “But none of that can happen if you don’t get back to the motel and sleep.”

Ash had finally stopped nervously pacing and sat down on the bed next to Pikachu, petting the Pokémon’s head.

“I will,” said Gladion, sitting up. He could feel the mud caked on the back of his neck, and the sidewalk spun. He tried getting up. “Fuck. I can’t do this.”

“You totally can. I’m staying on the phone with you until you make it back,” said Ash, determined.

They chatted about Ash’s upcoming tournament in Hoenn while Gladion stumbled back to the motel. Hearing Ash’s voice helped keep Gladion focused as he navigated the streets. He tried to push the door to the motel lobby open for two minutes before realizing he was supposed to pull. The kid working the night shift at the front desk watched him struggle to the elevator.

“I don’t know whether I need a shower or sleep first,” said Gladion miserably as he opened up the door to his room.

“Just go to sleep, man,” said Ash. “And set an alarm with plenty of time to get ready.”

“Fuck. Right. Thank you, Ash.”

“Anytime. Bye, Gladion. Goodnight. Say hello to Lillie for me.”

“Good luck with your tournament. I’ll still crush you next time I see you.”

“I’m counting on you to be better,” said Ash.

Gladion ended the call. He struggled to set an alarm to go off at least three hours before the contest. When was the contest again? His head pounded as he dug in his rucksack for his phone charger, barely managing to plug it in on the nightstand.

This was going to fucking hurt.

He fell onto the bed at an awkward angle and fell asleep, even before he could take off his boots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks again to James. :) there's only one chapter left! i haven't finished a story in years so that's a personal win for me. if anyone is enjoying this i would love some feedback. (:


	7. the right words

As he came to consciousness, Gladion felt like his head was splitting. The alarm on his phone blared, and he groaned against the pillows while reaching out for it, trying to turn it off.

“Shut the fuck up!” he swore at his phone, fumbling with it on the bedside table.

He floundered, miserable, until he finally managed to turn off the alarm.

“What the fuck was that for?” he groaned, putting an extra pillow over his head and shutting his eyes tight.

Fuck, his head ached.

It occurred to him that there needed to be a reason he had set an alarm, but he couldn’t think of what it was, his head feeling like it had been hit with an Earthquake attack.

“Medicine,” he moaned, and he almost fell off the bed as he tried to get up, realizing that he was still wearing his boots. 

Gladion made his way over to his backpack and dug out a bottle of pain relievers, dumping a pile into his hand. He stumbled to the bathroom and turned on the sink, swallowing the pills with a mouthful of water. Disoriented, he blinked at his reflection in the mirror, struggling to keep his eyes open. Damn, he looked rough, his hair messier than normal and dirty, and it was stuck to half of his face. The back of his neck felt dry, and he put a hand there, feeling flecks of mud caked to the back of his neck flaking off as he rubbed at it.

‘What the fuck did I do last night?’ Gladion thought, and then it all hit him in a fast forward montage. A day spent in absolute despair: smoking in the park; booking the motel room; walking to the bar in the rain; chugging glasses of whiskey like they were water; lying in the mud outside of Amity Square while talking to Ash about his feelings for Lillie. It was no wonder he still smelled of self-pity and alcohol.

“Oh, fuck! The fucking contest!” Gladion remembered, swearing. “Fuck!”

He ran back into the bedroom for his phone, checking the time. It was just past noon. The contest was scheduled for two o’clock, he thought he remembered, so he checked the Super Contest Hall’s website to be certain.

‘Okay, I can make it,’ he thought, taking off his boots. The first thing he needed to do was shower to get the mud off of him and properly wake up. Adrenaline coursed through him as he ripped off his dirty clothes. He had to be there for Lillie, and, most importantly, he had to get her back.

Gladion wondered what he was going to say as he turned on the water. Nothing felt like it would be good enough. He wished it could be as simple as ripping his heart out of his chest and putting it in her hands.

‘Just tell her you love her,’ he thought, trying to remember Ash’s advice to him. It was almost like his heart was physically sore from heartache. ‘Just be honest and tell her you fucked up and you can’t live without her.’ It still sounded messy to him, but he was desperate to be with her, so it would have to do.

He jumped into the shower when it was still too cold and he felt a jolt that helped wake him up.

‘It’s gonna work out,’ Gladion tried to be optimistic, even though that wasn’t his strong suit. ‘It’s got to work out.’

Lillie was everything to him, after all, just as he had told her. As a child, he pushed himself to become strong enough to defeat ultra beasts in order to protect her, and that mission was the driving force behind everything that he did. Then, for a while, he felt he had to save her from himself, so he stayed as far away from her as he could. He finally understood that his true enemy was his fear, and conquering it involved giving her his heart in a way that she could feel and reciprocate.

He had to be brave enough to do that.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

**14 YEARS EARLIER.**

“Vulpix is unable to battle, which means the winner of the match is Gladion!” shouted Hapu, the referee of Gladion and Lillie’s match.

Cheers erupted in the stadium, but Gladion was only relieved it was over. He should be happy that he was advancing in the competition, but this victory was bittersweet. It was just his luck that he had to be the one to defeat his little sister in the first round and remove her from the tournament. At least he could be careful with her during their battle, and he had, even though he had told her that he wouldn’t. He sighed while watching her cradle Snowy across the battlefield.

‘You’re too gentle for this kind of thing,’ he reflected. She was too good. Too pure. She wasn’t made for a rough sport like Pokémon battling; not like him, who loved all the struggle and the pain of pushing himself alongside his partners.

Lillie was smiling at him when they got close enough to see each other better. Her smile always made his heart beat a little faster, and he shrugged his shoulders to try to shake off the feeling. He started off down the hallway ahead of her, but she moved quickly to catch up with him.

“You’re so good at battling, Gladion,” Lillie said to him as they walked side by side back to the locker room. “I can tell you’ve been training really hard since you left home.”

She paused for a moment, thinking about how grateful she was that she had gotten to spend time with him at the Pokémon League. When it was over, she thought with a chill, he was going to go out on his own again and she didn’t know when she would be able to see him.

“You and your Pokémon are so strong,” she added, staring down at the ground and finding she wished to reach for his hand like a little girl. She had to remind herself that she was too big for that now. “You’re stronger and more skilled every time I see you.”

“Thanks, I guess,” murmured Gladion. He felt uncomfortable with praise, and she was showering him with it. A light blush tinged his cheeks.

“I think you’re even better than Ash. I think you can win the whole League,” said Lillie, looking at Gladion with adoration. She felt a rush of emotions pouring from her heart, wondering if this was just the adrenaline from the battle, but she wanted him to know how much she cared about him.

“It’s too soon to say that—“ Gladion started saying, but it became apparent that Lillie didn’t want to hear that.

Lillie stopped, clenching her fists.

“Well, you have to, because I’m cheering for you, okay?”

“Lillie…” Gladion turned to her, noticing she was pouting. He hoped she wasn’t about to cry.

“I’m supporting you with everything I have,” she said, her voice determined but broken. “I know my friends are cheering for each other, and Ash… but I’m cheering for you.”

His blush brightened, and he found himself hoping his hair was in the way and she couldn’t see it. He wanted to pull up his hood and hide in it.

“...T-Thanks…” he mumbled, at a loss of how to respond to her.

“I know after our battle you might think I’m disappointing, but I still admire you,” Lillie confessed, struggling to hold back tears.

“Don’t say that. You’re not disappointing at all,” said Gladion. “You’ve really impressed me, too. When we were battling, I thought about how much you’ve grown.”

“You don’t have to say that to be nice,” said Lillie, embarrassed. “I know I’m weak.”

It hurt him to hear that. Moved, he stepped toward her and put a hand on her head.

“You’re not weak, Lillie,” Gladion said gently, looking into her eyes while he patted her hair. He found himself oddly aware that she was beautiful to him, in some kind of ethereal way. It was something about her eyes, maybe. He didn’t know, and it made him feel a little weird. “I believe in you. One day, you’ll find something you’re really good at. And I’ll be there to watch you shine.”

Lillie’s eyes watered.

“I love you, big brother,” she said, throwing herself into his arms and wrapping her own around him, his affectionate words light and beautiful in her heart.

For a moment, Gladion was frozen. ‘I love you’ wasn’t something that he thought he had ever heard, and it hit him like an avalanche, suffocating him. Love? No. He had never heard that before. His face was on fire as he realized that Lillie was pressed against him, so close he could smell the floral shampoo she used. Sounds of footsteps rang out down the hall leading toward the locker room.

“Lillie! Stop… someone will see us…”

“I don’t care if my friends see me hugging you,” she said, stubbornly clinging to him. A few stray tears fell on his sweatshirt.

“I-I do! Come on, let go,” he begged her. He didn’t know why showing affection to her in public was so embarrassing for him, but the idea of someone seeing him embracing his sister was mortifying.

“Not until you hug me back, Gladion,” Lillie begged.

“F-Fine,” Gladion stuttered, and he squeezed her tight for a moment, desperate for it to be over before anyone caught them. She was tiny in his arms, and he was struck by how fragile she felt. He was overwhelmed with the urge to protect her.

Just then, Ash arrived at the foot of the hall.

“That was an awesome battle, you guys!” Ash shouted with his usual unbridled enthusiasm. He was just in time to see Gladion release Lillie from his embrace.

‘At least it’s just Ash,’ Gladion thought, relieved. It was still embarrassing to be seen showing physical affection to his sister, but at least he trusted Ash not to tell anyone. 

“Thanks so much, Ash!” said Lillie. She was filled with happiness knowing that Gladion was proud of her. Happier than she had ever been. Losing didn’t even matter anymore. “It was all Snowy, really.”

Lillie beamed, and Gladion felt his heart swell at witnessing her happiness. Making Lillie happy and keeping her safe was all that mattered to him in the world. For once, he felt like he was succeeding. He found himself struggling to keep from smiling like a dork, so he gritted his teeth, determined to maintain his composure.

“Umbreon was so strong to withstand that Z-Move!” Ash said to Gladion, running over and giving him a fist bump.

“Thanks,” Gladion mumbled. “Lillie was really amazing, too.”

“Yeah, Lillie, you were great!” Ash praised her, and she giggled.

The rest of Lillie’s friends appeared, and Gladion sighed, making to escape.

“Hey, Gladion, you should hang out with us for a while,” said Ash, watching his friend walk away. “We’re gonna grab a bite to eat together.”

“Some other time, Ash,” Gladion called back to him.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Over at the Super Contest Hall, Lillie opened up the door to her dressing room. Snowy ran into the room ahead of her, trilling enthusiastically. Trish and Sadie followed her in with garment bags and boxes of Lillie’s accessories and shoes.

“Thanks for helping with that,” said Lillie, putting her makeup bag on the vanity and looking around the dressing room. It always made her anxious to be back here preparing for another contest, but it was especially overwhelming now with how depressed she felt. She hadn’t slept well, tossing and turning all night and dreaming about searching for Gladion in a glittering labyrinthe while ultra beasts chased her.

“Of course we’re here to help!” Sadie sang, putting down the boxes that filled her arms. “I’m so excited!”

Gus bobbled at her side, gurgling.

“Lillie, sit down!” said Trish, frantic. “I’ve got to start on your hair.”

Lillie sighed. Pouting, she sat down in the chair in front of the vanity. 

“What’s that look for?” asked Trish. She rummaged through the beauty tools she had brought with her, looking for a hairbrush.

“Just remembering something,” Lillie murmured.

“Look, Lillie, I know you’re thinking about Gladion, but you have to realize he might not be here,” said Trish. She had found the hairbrush and was starting to separate Lillie’s hair into sections.

“Lillie knows that,” said Sadie defensively while she opened up the box with the hair crystals in it.

“I’m just remembering a time when we were little,” said Lillie, lost in reminiscing. “The first time I ever knew that Gladion was proud of me.”

“You can’t dwell on that,” said Trish, plugging in a hair curler. 

“I’m not dwelling, it’s just… on my mind, I guess,” said Lillie, her heart tender. She heard Snowy make a noise at that. “I guess I am dwelling. I’m sorry. How can I get through this without thinking about him?”

“Use your feelings for your performance,” said Sadie. Her heeled boots made clicking sounds on the floor as she hung up the garment bags with Lillie’s dresses in them. 

“That might help,” said Trish, agreeing with Sadie. She was on her best behavior to try and make up for their fight yesterday.

Lillie reached for her makeup case and started taking out the items she would need.

“Show’s in one hour!” shouted a stagehand from the other side of the dressing room door.

“Okay!” Trish shouted back, busying herself with styling Lillie’s hair.

“I’m nervous, you two,” said Lillie, carefully laying out her makeup. “What if I can’t perform like I usually can?”

“I mean, you have to just do it,” said Trish, and as always she was blunt. Her manner of looking at the world was completely cut and dry, and she worried that maybe she was still coming off as insensitive. “You’re doing it, so just be committed.”

“I know you can find a way to channel all your negative energy into your art, Lillie,” said Sadie, sitting down on the couch and starting to brush Snowy. The Ninetales adjusted itself comfortably in front of her, loving to get made up and made glamorous.

“That’s probably the best strategy, right?” Lillie agreed, and she sighed. “Logically, I should be able to do that.”

Snowy had her own opinions.

“I know, girl,” Lillie replied. “I hear you. I’m going to do my best, I promise.”

The Ninetales continued making noise, as though she hadn’t finished letting Lillie know how she felt.

“What a talkative girl,” said Sadie, rolling her eyes and giving Lillie a pointed look. “Someone sure has a lot to say.”

“She’s always been like that,” said Lillie, laughing as Trish fussed over her hair. “She’s very opinionated.”

“I’m glad she’s making you smile,” said Trish, happy to see a rise in her friend’s spirits. The designer picked up one of the crystal hair extensions and held it up against Lillie’s hair to see where to place it. “It wouldn’t hurt you to remember that Pokemon Contests are supposed to be fun.”

“It’s true,” said Sadie, fastening a jeweled collar onto the fox Pokemon’s neck. It made a spider web of ice crystals against Snowy’s fur. “You love dancing and performing with Snowy. Please don’t forget that.”

Lillie forced a smile and nodded.

“I know. You guys are right. Thank you for being here with me,” she said, feeling immense gratitude and love. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“We love you, Lillie,” said Trish, hoping her friend would really hear her. She knew that Lillie needed the emotional support.

“Yeah, you can’t get rid of us,” said Sadie, winking.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Lillie giggled. “I love you guys, too. You’re really like… my family, you know that?”

Trish and Sadie both smiled. Trish looked at Lillie’s reflection in the vanity mirror, admiring the hairstyle she was working on.

“You’re gonna be amazing, Lillie, I know it,” Trish said confidently. “I just need to get this done before the show starts. Focus on your makeup!”

Lillie sighed heavily, an attempt at releasing all of her negative feelings that were festering in her heart.

“Okay. Let’s win this.”

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

The streets seemed louder and busier to Gladion than they had so far in the entire duration of his visit to Hearthome city. He wove his way through the crowd crossing the street outside the motel, stutter-stepping around elderly folk and jumping aside to dodge children and Pokemon that bounded through the crosswalk without a care in the world. Keeping his head up, he searched the shop fronts for a floral boutique that a quick internet search on his phone had told him was nearby. He spotted the bright yellow marquee across Hearthome’s Main Street and stepped out into the road, taxis honking their horns at him as he struggled to get across.

A bell chimed as he opened the door to the shop, the smell of greenery and patchouli incense wafting around his head. Music, like soft chanting, reached his ears and calmed him. The peaceful energy of the shop embraced him and sheltered him from the chaos outside. It was like stepping into another world.

“Hello?” Gladion called out to the seemingly empty oasis, hoping that there was an employee around to help him with his purchase.

Silence. He thought that maybe no one was here, but then several Bellosom wandered out from behind a beaded curtain, carrying floral design tools and a bushel of baby’s breath. Behind them, a woman with curly brown hair and sparkling silver bifocals strutted into the room like she had purposefully been waiting behind the curtain to make an entrance when she got a customer.

“Welcome, young man,” said the woman, watching as the Pokemon carried her tools over to her work station. The Bellosom deposited their burdens and hurried back behind the curtain. “I am Monica, Hearthome’s leading florologist. Simply, flowers speak to me, and I translate. What can I help you with today?”

“I need… um… a bouquet of flowers,” said Gladion, realizing he was completely out of his element and had no idea what he was looking for. “It’s, uh, a gift.”

“Well, we have those here,” said the woman, amused. “Any type of flowers in particular?”

“I don’t know, and I really don’t have a lot of time to spend looking around,” said Gladion, quickly checking his phone and feeling nervous at the time. “I need to be somewhere with them by two, and it’s already quarter past one now.”

“Alright, alright,” said Monica, waving her hand and laughing. “Let’s try it like this: what’s the occasion?”

“My… little sister is competing in a Pokemon Contest,” said Gladion, realizing he was blushing. “I was hoping to give her some flowers when it’s over.”

“What a thoughtful gesture by an adoring brother,” said Monica, her eyes twinkling. “Tell me about her.”

“Excuse me?” asked Gladion, not processing.

“Tell me about her, this little sister. What kind of a person is she?”

“Is that important?” Gladion wondered, feeling uncomfortable. “I really am pressed for time—“

“I don’t know, is it important?” asked Monica, adjusting her glasses. “The language of flowers is curious and sensitive. Don’t you have something you want to tell her?”

Gladion stared at her, wondering what to say to this strange woman. He felt like she was looking into his soul. Her gaze was so intense that he felt exposed, as though somehow she had found out the secret nature of his feelings for Lillie. Embarrassed, he stuttered over his words.

“Well, she’s… kind-hearted. Sweet,” he said, nervously averting his gaze as he searched his feelings. “Not innocent, exactly—she’s been through a lot; she’s strong... but… gentle. She makes me believe in love.”

He turned bright red as he said that, worried that this woman had him all figured out.

“An angel of purity, then. And she has all your devotion,” said Monica. “I think I have just the thing for her. Follow me.”

She spun around, her lace shawl dancing in the air. Humming a low chant along with the music, she led Gladion through rows of exotic flowers to a display of dazzlingly bright white lilies.

“The Madonna Lily,” said Monica, making a grand gesture toward the flowers. “Lilium candidum. At times it can be known as the flower of sadness, but it’s not a symbol of despair. It’s also a proven herald of purity, and of love. That makes it popular for weddings.”

Gladion laughed, his cheeks still pink.

“They’re beautiful. Her name is Lillie,” he said, almost in disbelief that this strange woman could know this.

“Then it’s truly meant to be,” said Monica. “I’ll make a bouquet for you right away, young man. Ladies!”

She called for her Bellosom, and a couple of them scurried over to her, taking the lilies out of her hands and carrying them over to the work station.

“T-Thanks…” mumbled Gladion, stunned and still embarrassed. He took out his phone to note the time, biting the inside of his mouth. None of this would matter if he couldn’t get to the contest.

He wandered around the shop while Monica and her Pokémon busied themselves with building the bouquet, once again trying to rehearse in his head what he wanted to say to Lillie. He was reminded of the night when he wrote her the poem, crossing out his words when he felt they weren’t right. It was torture to think that the wrong words could cause him to lose her.

“The flowers will say what you forget,” said Monica when she handed him the finished bouquet, as though she had read his mind.

“Thank you,” said Gladion. He exchanged money for the flowers, taking them from her hands and carefully cradling them. “This helps.”

Monica and the Bellosom bowed to him as he exited the shop.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Fifteen minutes to the start of the contest, Lillie had just finished putting on the dress she would wear for the first two portions of the competition. She studied herself in the dressing room mirrors while Trish and Sadie dusted her with body glitter.

“Oh my God, you look fucking amazing,” Sadie squealed.

“Yeah, totally killer. This is exactly how I envisioned you,” said Trish, proud of her handiwork.

Snowy gave a playful growl.

“You look amazing, too, Snowy,” said Lillie, looking over at her partner. “Is her collar on alright?”

Trish checked Snowy over, making sure that everything was perfect, and then came back over to Lillie and adjusted her hair.

“Yes, Snowy looks perfect. So do you. I think you’re ready,” said Trish. “It’s almost time.”

Lillie nodded. She was still thinking about Gladion, but she tried to embrace the sorrow in her heart, encouraging herself to be open to channeling her emotions into her performance.

‘All I want is for you to see this, Gladion,’ Lillie thought. ‘If you truly love me… you’ll be here.’

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

There wasn’t much of a crowd outside when Gladion reached the Super Contest Hall. He only had about fifteen minutes to showtime, so he figured that the other guests had already made their way inside. He ran up to the ticketing kiosk, fumbling for his wallet while balancing the bouquet. Frantic, he knocked on the sliding glass door.

There was a small thud as the employee slid the door aside and it settled into its frame.

“Hello, sir. What can I help you with?” asked the girl behind the ticket counter.

“I need a ticket to the Beauty Contest that starts at two,” said Gladion hurriedly, change spilling from his wallet all over the ticket counter. He swore.

“The show’s sold out, sir,” replied the girl, assessing his floundering appearance with raised eyebrows. “I’m sorry.”

“What!? It can’t be sold out!” 

“Just sold the last ticket a couple of minutes ago,” the employee affirmed. “Can I interest you in the Cool Contest taking place this evening?”

“No, that won’t work. Look, someone that I know… someone very important to me is a contestant, and I have to get in there to see her,” said Gladion desperately. “I’ll take any seat that you have; anything, please.”

“There aren’t any seats left, sir, I’m sorry. That’s what ‘sold out’ means.”

“Fuck,” Gladion swore under his breath. “There’s really nothing I can do? For any amount of money?”

“No, sir, at least as far as I can help you. Sometimes there are scalpers hanging out in front of the building, but the show’s about to start now.”

“Ugh, okay. Thanks,” Gladion sighed, whisking away from the window.

Dizziness threatened him, but he was determined to find a solution, so he stood his ground, scanning the area. He didn’t see anybody hanging out in front of the building selling tickets, so he swung around back, looking for an alternate entryway. He didn’t know how he would get in once he found one, but in adrenaline-laced panic, he decided that he would simply find a way, no matter what it took. Being there for Lillie on her big day was worth whatever pains he had to take to make it happen.

He tried a side entrance, but the metal door was affixed to the wall as if it were part of it, and wouldn’t budge. Swearing, he circled the remainder of the building and came to a loading dock in the back. A group of Contest Hall workers were hoisting speakers and other production equipment off of a truck and wheeling it in through a back door. Gladion figured he could probably follow them in, but there was still the problem of being seen.

Quietly, he released a Pokemon he had befriended during his time in college. The ghost Pokemon did a backflip in the air and flashed a mischievous grin.

“Hey, Gengar,” said Gladion. “I have something fun for us to do, but it’s also very important, so listen carefully.”

The Gengar nodded with curiosity, all ears.

“We’ve got to sneak into that building behind those equipment guys, but they can’t see us. Do you think you can use Shadow Sneak and get us in there?”

Gengar peeked out over the side of the brick wall they hid behind, watching as the workers helped each other load the sound equipment onto dolleys. The Pokémon surveyed the scene, then turned back to Gladion, nodding vigorously.

“Okay. Let’s do it,” said Gladion with hope rising in his chest.

The final employee of the group shut the doors to the truck, grunting and pushing the dolley up a ramp. Gengar used Shadow Sneak, turning him and Gladion into black, shapeless forms that melded into the heavy shadows cast into the loading dock. They crept up the ramp behind the workers, careful and quiet as they could. Passing through the back doorway, they entered a narrow corridor, stepping slowly behind the man that struggled to push the dolley down the hall. At an intersection, the employee went left toward an area behind the stage, and once Gladion and Gengar were out of sight, Gengar dropped his illusion.

“Awesome. Great work,” said Gladion to his Pokemon, and Gengar twirled happily, laughing at having successfully pulled off his trick. “We’ll hang out later.”

He returned Gengar to his pokeball and headed off down the hall. The rooms were labeled with plaques which helped him find his way around. He ducked around the corner, passing equipment rooms and offices until he found himself in the main entryway. A few stragglers were buying drinks at a concession stand, everyone else having already made their way to their seats.

“You there! Do you have your ticket?” called a man. He was dressed in all black and wearing a Contest Hall badge. “Who are you?” 

Gladion gulped.

“Uh…” he struggled to think of what to say, clutching the flowers. That gave him an idea. “Delivery guy?”

A tense silence passed while the man studied him.

“Very well, then,” grumbled the usher. “The contestants’ dressing rooms are through that door and down to the right.”

The man pointed to a bright red door slightly down the hall past the concession stand before a couple came up to him with their sodas and popcorn, asking him to direct them to their seats. Gladion sighed, rushing off down the hall in the other direction to get away before the usher came back. He could hear the crowd cheer as the show was getting underway.

“Ladies and gentleman, how are you doing today!?” the announcer’s voice echoed out from the stage.

Gladion reached another entrance to the performance hall and took the stairs a couple of flights before he waltzed into the dramatically lit setting, looking around. The lights had been dimmed for the performance, and a man in a brightly patterned suit was illuminated on stage, explaining the stages of the contest. Gladion scanned the stadium for an unoccupied seat to steal but he wasn’t locating any. The words from the girl at the ticket kiosk rattled around his brain: ‘that’s what sold out means;’ but he wasn’t ready to accept it. Partially out of annoyance, he looked upwards as he sighed, and that was when he noticed there was another balcony above him. Scanning the rest of the room, he could see that the entirety of the highest balcony was empty.

As a last effort, he went back into the hall and found the stairs, scaling them two at a time. The crowd erupted into cheers as the Visual Competition commenced. The door at the top of the stairs was adorned with a sign that read that the topmost balcony was closed for renovations, yet to his relief it opened when he shoved at it. Tarps were draped over the seats, but he went to the front row and sat down as the hall went completely dark. Gladion took a deep breath, and spotlights illuminated the stage as the curtains were drawn open, revealing the competing Pokemon.

Right away he noticed Snowy, glimmering even from the distance he was at. Crystals were laced around her neck and glittering in her tails. Gladion figured that was the design handiwork of Trish, and he wondered what Lillie looked like.

“Alright, the Visual Competition is underway. The trainers have been asked to come up with outfits for the following theme: Elements. I will now introduce the Pokémon that will be vying for your admiration this afternoon. Our first contender is trainer Jacquelyn’s Caden, a beautiful Rapidash that used to be a favourite in Cute Contests in the first stage of his life when he was a Ponyta. He now hopes to win big in this Master Rank Beauty Contest. Let’s hear it if Caden is your favourite Pokemon on stage.”

The crowd hooted and hollered. The announcer went one by one through the assortment of Pokémon on stage, giving a brief biography on each and allowing the audience and the judges to review their costumes. Gladion was particularly impressed by a Roselia who wore a full skirt of silk roses. Creativity was never something he had needed to think about in regards to his relationship with his Pokemon, so it was interesting to see how these trainers approached dressing their partners.

“We now come to our most exotic competitor, trainer Lillie’s Snowy, an Ice-type Ninetales all the way from the distant, tropical region of Alola. Despite originating from far away, Snowy is a local favorite as she and her trainer now live in our very own Hearthome city. Please give it up if Snowy is your favorite Pokémon on stage.”

Gladion clapped as loudly as he could, happy to hear the rest of the crowd seemed to agree with him. He had no idea how to judge the beauty of the Pokémon on stage; in fact, his opinion was that they were all majestic beasts, but he was happy to hear that the audience adored Snowy.

He realized that he hadn’t asked Lillie when she had evolved her Vulpix into Ninetales, and that the event was probably an important part of Lillie’s life with her partner that he didn’t know anything about. There was still so much time apart that they had to catch up on; so much he wanted to know about her, and share with her, if she agreed to be with him.

After all of the Pokémon had been introduced, the announcer cleared the stage and directed the contestants to get ready for the Dance Competition. As Lillie had explained to Gladion the day he went to her studio to watch her practice, the contestants were required to choreograph a two-minute dance performance with their Pokémon. 

As the dances began, Gladion noticed that most of the competitors were dancing in the same style as Lillie, which he thought he remembered was called contemporary. There was a hip-hop number, which Gladion thought was cute, but not particularly ‘beautiful.’ The Roselia and her trainer, who Gladion was worried about being strong contenders, performed a ballet routine that looked particularly technically difficult, and had earned a lot of applause.

When Lillie came out his breath caught. She was wearing a short, silky iridescent dress, and her pink hair was curled and adorned with ice crystals that matched those Snowy wore. 

‘She’s an angel,’ he thought, entranced by her graceful movements as she spun and leapt across the stage. It was amazing that she had managed to train Snowy to respond to her so sensitively; their movements matched in quality and line, and a decorative flow marked the shifting locomotion between their bodies.

When it was over he stood up and clapped, glad to look down into the lower balconies and see that many others were doing the same. He was beyond impressed with Lillie, and proud of her. He wanted to take her into his arms and congratulate her, even if she didn’t win. She truly had grown so much from the little girl that stood across from him on the battlefield all those years ago. She had found herself.

“That’s my girl,” he said with pride, excited for her. He was still clapping as he sat back down to watch the rest of the contest.

“My my, what an exciting show this has been!” shouted the announcer after the stage had been cleared of dancers. “Are you all feeling the immense radiation of talent from these trainers and Pokemon? I mean, wow. Spectacular.”

The audience roared.

“Indeed, we’ve still got one more portion of talent for you today: the Acting Competition. It’s time to see these Pokemon perform some beautiful moves! First up, Jacquelyn’s Caden!”

Gladion sat back in his seat, finding that he was excited for the final leg of the contest.

The Rapidash performed a fantastic combination of Sunny Day and Flame Wheel, heat radiating into the audience as flames spun around and around the horse’s body. The Roselia was impressive, too, using Magical Leaf to send waves of petals washing all the way to the ceiling. Gladion was feeling pretty nervous, but when it was Snowy’s turn, the fox Pokémon dispelled all of his worries with her icy rainbow. Prisms of light in every color that the eye could see danced across the performance hall, ice crystals glimmering in the air. The audience clapped before the move was even finished, and a chill crept up Gladion’s spine.

“Incredible,” he muttered, thinking it was certainly a winning move, and he was on the edge of his seat after the Acting Competition had completed and the announcer had brought all of the competitors onto the stage to announce the results.

“Come on,” Gladion whispered to himself, tapping his foot nervously on the ground.

“I will now declare the top two finishers,” said the announcer, and the crowd went dead silent. “In second place… Audrina, and her Roselia, April!”

The audience cheered as the competitors were awarded their trophy. Gladion tapped his foot faster, his eyes on Lillie. She stood perfectly poised next to Snowy, but he knew she must be a bundle of nerves inside. He was, that was for sure. The performance hall grew silent again as the announcer lifted the microphone to his lips to reveal the winner.

“And, in first place, the winners of the Master Rank Beauty Contest are… Lillie, and her Ninetales, Snowy!”

The performance hall erupted in applause.

“Yes!” Gladion shouted, clenching his fist. “Fuck yeah!”

He watched as Lillie covered her mouth in surprise, then bent down and embraced Snowy as the announcer headed over to her with her trophy.

‘She did it,’ Gladion thought proudly, still clapping along with the crowd.

Lillie bowed on stage, a vision in her iridescent costume and crystals.

“Thank you so much,” she said into the microphone that the announcer held out for her. “Thank you to all of my fans! You inspire me to keep practicing and creating. I will never forget this moment. Thank you.”

Applause filled the performance hall again, and Gladion grabbed the bouquet of lilies, taking a deep breath. It was now or never that he had to go to her and win her back. He waited until the stage was cleared and the audience started filtering out of their seats before he exited the balcony and made his way downstairs. Because of the usher he had ran into on his way in, he knew how to get to the dressing rooms, so he figured he would go there and surprise Lillie when she returned.

It took some time to navigate to the red door with all of the people leaving the Contest Hall in the way. Gladion was nervous. He kept sighing and taking deep breaths, thinking he had never been so nervous in his life. Finally, a path cleared, and he pushed open the red door and started down the hall, looking for Lillie’s room.

Unable to catch his breath, Gladion knocked on the dressing room door with Lillie’s name on it.

“Come in!” he heard her call, and taking one more desperate breath to get air into his lungs, he cracked open the door.

Lillie had been expecting Trish and Sadie, so her heart fell to the floor when she saw Gladion’s face appear in the doorway behind her. Snowy squealed when she saw him, surprised as well.

Lillie looked beautiful to him, all sparkles and crystals in her hair in her performance outfit, like the princess she was in his fantasies.

“...Hey, Princess,” he said weakly, and Lillie let out a strangled sob.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, voice broken.

“I saw your performance,” said Gladion, feeling like the floor was about to give out beneath him. “All of it.”

“I… didn’t know if you were going to make it,” Lillie murmured, so sick of crying, but she couldn’t believe he was really here.

“I wouldn’t miss it. You were amazing… I was really impressed. Congratulations on your win, you deserved it,” he said, holding out the bouquet of flowers he had gotten her. “These are for you. They’re lilies.”

“I can see that,” said Lillie, standing up and taking the flowers from him. Teardrops fell on the petals. “They’re beautiful.”

“I’m glad you like them,” said Gladion, breathless now that he was in front of her. It was like everything he wanted to say to her was simultaneously on the tip of his tongue and gone from his mind. “I, um… I’m sorry, Lillie… I’m so sorry.”

Lillie swallowed.

“Why did you leave?” she asked through a dry mouth.

“I-I panicked,” he said, trying to break down his walls and be honest with her. “That… happens to me sometimes. I got too deep in my head, worrying, thinking we could never be happy; so then I thought I could protect you if I left, and… I fucked it all up. I guess that’s just an excuse.”

“It’s not your fault that you panicked,” said Lillie, trying to understand. “But you didn’t have to disappear. You said all these beautiful things to me when we were making love and then you were gone when I woke up.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I’ve realized now that I was running away. But I don’t wanna run away anymore. You mean too much to me, Lillie. And I can’t believe I found you again in this life, and that you feel the same way about me. That’s not a curse, it’s a miracle. You saw that already, but… it took me a while to get it. That’s my fault, too.”

“Oh, Gladion,” whispered Lillie. “That’s not your fault.”

“You say that because you’re an angel. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I’m selfish, and I want it… because I want you.”

“What are you trying to say?” asked Lillie, trembling.

“What I’m saying is… be with me? Just like you said. In love in secret. I know it will be hard to live with a secret like this… but it’s the only way I can imagine living now, because I can’t be without you anymore.”

Tears ran down Lillie’s face.

“I thought you said we can’t be together?” asked Lillie, crying. “That we can’t be happy?”

“I was wrong. That was all… my fear. I was weak to it and it hurt you. Forgive me for that weakness, too, if you can.”

“Do you mean it, then, Gladion? Do you really want to be with me?”

“Yes. I love you—more than anything,” he said, stepping toward her and pressing his forehead to hers as they had the first time they confessed to each other. “You’re the only one I’ve ever truly loved.”

She draped her arm that didn’t hold the flowers around his neck.

“I love you too,” Lillie struggled to say through her tears. “I couldn’t take you leaving me again. Please don’t do that to me.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Princess, I promise you.”

They shared a desperate kiss, and Gladion could taste Lillie’s tears on his lips.

“And I promise I’m never going to make you cry again, either,” he said, petting her hair. “I want to make you the happiest girl in the world. No more crying over me.”

“They’re happy tears,” she whispered, kissing Gladion again. She clutched her bouquet to her chest, her heart filling her whole body.

They pulled apart from each other at the perfect time, right before Trish and Sadie barged into the room.

“Congratulations, Lillie!”

“Congratulations! You were amazing!”

Snowy made indignant noises from her perch on the couch in the dressing room.

“You were amazing, too, Snowy!” said Sadie, beaming. “Gladion! It’s good to see you here!”

“You saw the whole performance?” asked Trish, testing him.

“Of course I did,” said Gladion, blushing. “Nice work on the costumes.”

“Yeah, thanks,” mumbled Trish, crossing her arms. A faint pinkness appeared on her cheeks.

Lillie embraced her friends, laughing.

“Thank you for being here for me, you guys,” said Lillie with pure happiness. “I can’t believe I really won. I’m so happy.”

“Now we have to celebrate!” shouted Sadie enthusiastically.

“I was thinking of going to that sushi place you love, Lillie,” said Trish. “If you want.”

“Sushi?” asked Gladion. “I thought you were a vegetarian?”

Lillie laughed, beaming.

“I am, but this place has amazing veggie rolls! And their cocktails are really super, too.”

“Let’s go, let’s go!” Sadie chanted like a little girl, jumping up and down in her heels. “I’m ready to get drunk and celebrate Lillie’s victory!”

Lillie looked so happy that Gladion thought his heart would beat out of his chest watching her.

“I’m excited to try it,” he said.

“Oh my, Lillie, these are beautiful!” said Sadie, finally noticing Lillie’s flowers.

“Thank you,” Lillie squealed, delighted. “Gladion got them for me.”

“Nice job, Gladion,” said Trish, giving him some credit.

Gladion shook his head, feeling like he couldn’t really take credit for the florologist’s work.

“Thanks,” he said anyway, figuring it was a story for another time.

“Sushi time!” bellowed Sadie, grabbing an armful of Lillie’s things and leading the group to the door.

“Be careful with all of that,” said Trish cautiously, following her.

Gladion and Lillie looked at each other and smiled. He took her hand as they exited the dressing room.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

It was once again raining in Hearthome city that night. Gladion and Lillie lay entwined in bed after making love as the rain splattered the glass doors leading to the balcony, making a rather peaceful noise.

“So, I was thinking about moving to Hearthome city,” said Gladion. He was holding her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it all over. He watched her eyes light up.

“Really?” asked Lillie. “You’d do that for me?”

“Yeah, of course. How else am I gonna be with you?” Gladion teased her. He squeezed her hand. “I like the city, and I like your friends… I have some ideas of places to look for work, too.”

Lillie smiled at him.

“Do you want to look for a home together?” she thought aloud. She hoped she wasn’t premature in asking that. Their technical romantic relationship was moving fast, but they had already been in love for so long, if anything it felt overdue for them to have a place they shared together.

“Would you want that?” asked Gladion, though he was glad she had suggested it. “I thought you loved this apartment.”

“I mean, I’m proud of it; but I’ve lived here for a while, and I’m fine to move on. I’d rather be somewhere new with you,” said Lillie. She draped her leg over his waist and snuggled closer to him. “We can get an even nicer apartment. Or a house.”

“Alright then,” said Gladion. “Since we’re making plans. We can live together.”

“Like husband and wife,” said Lillie, daydreaming. She giggled. “But with separate bedrooms.”

“We can pretend,” said Gladion, laughing. “It would make me happy if you were my little wife, Lillie.”

“That sounds too good to be true,” Lillie murmured.

“It’s not. You showed me that. We’re gonna be happy now,” said Gladion. It felt surreal to him, but he had decided to be completely committed to her, come what may. Even on the off chance that it might bring happiness for them, finally.

“We’re gonna be happy,” Lillie echoed him, snuggling against his chest.

“Don’t cry,” he said in her ear as he stroked her waist, thinking about taking her again.

“I might be… just a little,” she whispered.

“Crybaby,” he muttered, kissing her.

Outside, the rain fell all night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phew, my first finished fic. :) my emo kids got their happy ending! thank you a billion times again to James for sticking with me throughout this journey and editing each of my chapters, and thank you to YOU if you made it this far! please leave me a comment if you enjoyed this, it would mean a lot to me. :')
> 
> going forward i have another Gladion/Lillie fic in the works, taking place about five years after the game timeline where they're teenagers (hoo boy, if this adult fic made people mad, i can't wait to see what the reaction to that fic will be ^^;) and it's a lot darker in contrast to this fluffy fairytale (with a severely abusive Lusamine looming over them), so if you're here 'cus you like dark ships, keep your eyes peeled for that one. :P
> 
> i'm also working on an Ash/Serena fic taking place in the same universe as this fic, so if you were into the little Ash teases then let me know if you're excited for that! it should be shorter than this fic but still multi-chapter, taking place over the course of a weekend that Ash and Serena are spending together. i call this my "Celebrity AU," because everyone is living the famous high-life as adults after achieving their dreams (well, aside from poor Gladion, but he's pulling himself out of depression and working on getting a job he enjoys, so i still view him as successful lol). Ash is a professional Pokemon Trainer as i've let you know here, and Serena is famous from Pokemon Performances, but they can't seem to get their relationship together! drama ensues, and smut, to be sure. ;)
> 
> anyways... a huge thanks again, and cheers. :)


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